I'm a fucked up person, I have had a messed up experience of life. I grew up in the upper midwest where all of my family believed strongly in a particular breed of christianity that is unbelievably closed minded. I have traveled all over the world thailand, mexico, india on two occasions, and now china. I don't know what to do spiritually, I know this is pathetic asking an internet forum what to do,but I am really out of options, I have asked friends, and everyone else, I have a serious alcohol problem. I know it stems from a lack of something in my life, and I don't know what accept for religion. I have been considering a conversion to islam here in beijing, but that is difficult. I really am intrigued by hinduism, but I know from experience that westerners cannot really ever convert to hinduism. I think my love of islam might just come from a lasting anger toward everything that my home ideas come from, I don't know what to do, but I know that I want to find something soon, or I will die of misery, and booze.

I would give suggestions, but I'm a mess, myself. If you want my opinion, though, all religion is wishful thinking. Meaning isn't something inherent in this universe... there is no single "meaning of life." It's simply a matter of what you believe that is meaningful. That's it. Nothing beyond that.

Maybe instead of searching for religion you could try to find someone to love, or maybe find a career that you have always wanted to do. If not, just find some other way to escape... alcohol is a way of escaping, but not necessarily a good one.

(okay, I ended up giving suggestions. so what?)

The most importasnt thing to do is get off the booze. It is fucking upo your brain chemistry. Get sober, get some good nutrition for a while and then you will start thinking clearly.

The, rather than go god-shopping, I would suggest you look within. All the love, all the hope, all the strength and compassion you need now and will ever need is within you, right now. You only have to find it, own it, and use it.

I promise you this, if you do not go within, you will surely go without. I am not big on Bible-thumping, but verily is it written "The kingdom of God is within you."

Hinduism is pretty much paganism for somebody with too much time to think about religion, athiesm is pretty valid in my opnion

If you need 'spirituality', Buddhism is really neat, but why do you think you need it? To replace the alcohol? Going from one 'fix' to another 'fix' isn't the answer, my friend. Trust me, get help; not AA, decent help.



[This message has been edited by Raw_Power (edited 10-14-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by freaker:

I want to find something soon, or I will die of misery, and booze.

Couple of key words "misery", "booze". I like a couple of beers now and then, or a rum or two http://www.totse.com/bbs/biggrin.gif (http://www.totse.com/bbs/biggrin.gif), but I can see how much distress is caused by addiction and abuse. Bit of a quandary at times having a b/in-law who is struggling with alcoholism; makes one wonder about how to react to that. If it's a fair dinkum addiction, can't live without it, drink till blotto etc., see a doctor! Otherwise, is it a crutch?

The other keyword being "misery" is connected to a low-energy level of consciousness that may be determined by your god-view. To understand this fully you may need to read "Power vs Force" by David R Hawkins, but basically from reading your story you have been taught a view of god as despising, and/or vindictive, condemning, disdainful, punitive, denying, vengeful. Those god-views will directly effect the level of energy, not only of consciousness, but also physiological function.

What are your dominant emotions?

Peace http://www.totse.com/bbs/smile.gif (http://www.totse.com/bbs/smile.gif)

quote:Originally posted by Raw_Power:

Going from one 'fix' to another 'fix' isn't the answer, my friend. Trust me, get help; not AA, decent help.

My thoughts exactly, although i think it would be better for you, health-wise that is, to go from being addicted to alcohol to being addicted to religion. but, imo, all religion is, is a crutch for the people who are too scared to face life as it is. good luck finding something that works though.