What do you want people to do at your funeral?

All cemetaries are religious, ive only been to 1 christian funeral. And it was horrible. I dont want a priest saying anything at my funeral. If a quote from the bible is read i'll be turning over in my grave to throw rotting flesh at people.

Anybody been to a funeral that wasnt christian?

I read about some cult favorite musician's funeral where a few big time fans showed up and played his music over a boombox. That's how I'd like to go out. An Elliott Smith song, a reading of Thoreau, then leave me be.

Cremation, then a private ceremony where some people talk about me my favourite song is played and then my ashes are scattered to the wind.

I think that'd be a nice way to go out.

I'd like for them to do whatever the hell they feel like; be it crying, dancing, praying, drinking.... I don't believe that there is an afterlife, so I won't care, because I can't; even if there was an afterlife, I imagine my thoughts would be focused on what the hell is happening to me, not what they happen to be doing on earth.

As for the non-Christian (or rather, non-religious) funeral, Dawkins talks about participating in one for a deceased atheist friend of his. They pretty much gathered friends and family to read passages from the deceased's favorite poet/writer, talked, and shared fond memories with each other. Basically, a somber social gathering aimed at remembering a lost friend.

i'm donating my body to medical science, not organ donor for ill people. that is a waste.

hopefully my body will help to train 10 doctors who will save 50 lives each in their lifetimes. who knows? my doctors might save the life of someone who will do great things? i hope so.

my funeral is going to be a rave with all my favourite choons.

http://www.totse.com/bbs/smile.gif (http://www.totse.com/bbs/smile.gif) http://www.totse.com/bbs/smile.gif (http://www.totse.com/bbs/smile.gif) http://www.totse.com/bbs/smile.gif (http://www.totse.com/bbs/smile.gif)

actually i'll let the DJ decide

but i want shoutouts from beyond the grave.



[This message has been edited by stormshadowftb (edited 12-12-2006).]

ive been thinking about this since i posted and

i want my favorite songs playing in the background, not shur wich ones would be best yet, pink floyd comfortably numb comes into mind for the sad toon

i want people to remember the good times, while there talking this some more up beat party music would be playing.

I think my older brother would be the guy doing some reading, since he shares all my atheist views, and is one of the only people i know who actually buys books. I'll let him know that i would want him to express our mutual non belief of the afterlife, even know there is goona be alot of religious people there(family) but its my funeral not thers

also it will be an outdoor funeral. i want the ceramonial drinks to be routinly passed around. Taste of scotch, vodka, capton mo's, cognac and a few different tastes of beer.

also the ceramonial joint, wich will should be big enough to give every one of my friends a hoot, wich will have to be pretty fucken big

I also want to be creamated,

and maybe my ashes put in some soil, and mixed into a nice Sea of Green, and the weed smoked by my pothead friends.

that or my ashes dropped from a plane over the Mountains of BC

to you atheists saying you want to be cremated, don't you think you're going to do enough burning once you get to hell to spend eternity?

I went to my grandmother's funeral a few years ago, and I cried like a little girl. Why? The casket was in full view. It wasn't open, no, but the package itself was enough to really shake me up.

I'd like my ass to be burried whole, not crmeated, but at least lowered into the pit a bit, so my loved ones don't have to stare and imagine their father/brother/friend rotting in a hunk of wood. If I'd managed to make a writer of myself, then I'd want a passage of two read from one of my works. Musician, one of my songs, and so on and so forth. People could cry if they wanted, or not. Honestly, I wouldn't want the reserved and controlled emotion to it- I'd want the bereaved to be REALLY bawling if they were going to. Why only mourn the passed a little? Especially if there isn't an other side, one should be even MORE upset.

I guess the best situation would be that the crowd featured, to paraphrase High Fidelity, at least one extremely beautiful young woman bawling.

The reception would be somber, with relatives and friends- the whole clan - gathered to share fond memories of my life. That sort of thing, you know?

[This message has been edited by socratic (edited 12-12-2006).]

My uncle had a Humanist funeral, it was pretty much the same as a christian funeral but without hymns or the mention of god. One day I'm sure I'll have one too.

Cremations are very selfish imo. I'll donate my organs to other people, the left overs to medical science, and if there's anything else left I want it put on a compost heap so I can be recycled in the most natural way possible.

I would want there to be a supple amount of salvia available - maybe some ohGr playing - definitely clowns, strobe lights, fog, and glow sticks.

I want my funeral to be as much a fiasco as my life is.

Funerals are for the people that are mourning your death, so it doesn't really matter how it is conducted, as long as they take comfort from it. Greg Tillman, the NFL star and soldier, had a standard funeral except for his brother saying "stop talking about God and the afterlife, it doesn't matter since Greg didn't believe in that shit anyways." If your family takes comfort in you being somewhere "better" then it doesn't really matter to you. Unless you want some kind of message to the rest of the world to further your view point.

quote:Originally posted by Rust:

I'd like for them to do whatever the hell they feel like; be it crying, dancing, praying, drinking.... I don't believe that there is an afterlife, so I won't care, because I can't; even if there was an afterlife, I imagine my thoughts would be focused on what the hell is happening to me, not what they happen to be doing on earth.

As for the non-Christian (or rather, non-religious) funeral, Dawkins talks about participating in one for a deceased atheist friend of his. They pretty much gathered friends and family to read passages from the deceased's favorite poet/writer, talked, and shared fond memories with each other. Basically, a somber social gathering aimed at remembering a lost friend.

^ That's what I want with one exception. I went my corpse put a raft, the raft set on fire and then sent out to sea.

I went to a catholic funeral recently, and was pissed off when the priest asked jesus to have mercy on the departed's soul. Then he started about how humble she was, and how nice she was. Then some twat played a flute badly.

At my funeral I want

Death metal

Robes made out of animal skins

Darkness

Operatic Music

Fires

Lots sf incense

Latin

No mention of this "mercy" shit If god don't want me, tough.

Actually I want a pagan funeral.

A big feast

No chairs, just animal skins on the floor

An orgy

Chanting

An attempt to raise a demon

An attempt to ressurect me

A fight

Another fight

Praise for my deeds, like the time I beat up bigfoot, and the time I beat up an entire class of 5 year olds

Praise for my 17" penis

A torchlight procession

Me getting buried at

a Sea

b in a Lake

c in a Dumpster

d Out in the countryside and a tree planted

[This message has been edited by Issue313 (edited 12-12-2006).]

I want people to have fun at my funeral. Have jokes / take the piss out my corpse etc. (not literally)

Definitely no mention of god or any spiritual themes.

Viking ship cremation. Will it get me to Valhalla? Sorry, doesn't exist. Will it be symbolic as hell? No, it will be awesome as hell.

quote:Originally posted by SurahAhriman:

Viking ship cremation. Will it get me to Valhalla? Sorry, doesn't exist. Will it be symbolic as hell? No, it will be awesome as hell.

http://www.totse.com/bbs/biggrin.gif (http://www.totse.com/bbs/biggrin.gif)

My family will probably insist that my cadaver be preserved in either a casket or my ashes in an urn ... but I have no preference.

My family will probably insist that there be a "service" in my honor ... but I have no preference to the where's and how's of that service.

My family will probably insist that there be some type of monument erected (such as a tombstone or a grave marker if I'm buried)... but I have no preference.

The only instructions I'd like to leave in my last will & testament is that no one incur any outrageous expenses for these silly traditions. In fact, unless I die penniless, I'll probably put a stipend back to help fund these silly traditions, just to help out the loved ones.

All I really have a preference to is the manner in which people grieve over me. Ideally, I'd like for my death to coincide with something highly comedic and entertaining, perhaps a Seinfeld 50-year Reunion-Watch-Party /slash/ AngryFemme's Memorial Service would be nice.

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I have been to a non-religious funeral before. It was held by the family of an atheist who were kind enough to fulfill their son's last wishes of not having any religious ceremonies. It was held as a memorial in their back yard, and it kind of reminded me of a "Toast & Roast", where everyone took turns sharing fond and not-so-fond memories (with lotsa laughs)of the deceased. It was actually quite nice.

Well being an atheist and secular humanist i don't want ANY religion to be a part of my funeral.

I guess id just like a small burial with whichever friends or family i have kept or found in my life present to say goodbye, no prayers...a song or two perhaps chosen by me before i pop my cloggs and perhaps some poems http://www.totse.com/bbs/smile.gif (http://www.totse.com/bbs/smile.gif)

I would like all my friends to piss on my grave... Or some other absurdly comical way, that will remind everyone not to make such a fucking big deal out of the whole thing.

Edit: Although come to think of it, I wouldn't even want a grave. They're meaningless, and a waste of space. Whoever can benefit from my body parts should benefit... feed 'em to stray dogs for all I care.

[This message has been edited by marvin (edited 12-13-2006).]

If I'm at a Christian funeral, I'll just block out all the religious stuff they're saying and focus on remembering the person and the good times we had.

I respect religious views of others because it's pretty much the one thing that nobody is actually right about. Nobody knows what happens after you die, nobody can prove that their religion is the one that is most correct, and when they try to, they use something like the bible which I have still found no historical evidence towards who actually wrote the damned thing.

In other words, believe in what you want to, because you're opinion on what happens is no more/less valid than anyone elses.

I really don't care whether or not a priest preaches at my funeral, I'll be dead.

[This message has been edited by SydMorrison (edited 12-13-2006).]

I want to have a sing-along at my funeral. I'll pre-record a video of myself singing along, with a little smiley face bouncing along on the words. Songs?

All Together Now, The Beatles

Livin' in the Sunlight, Tiny Tim

Joy to the World, Three Dog Night

There will be no black at my funeral. Only bright colors will be warn, and if anyone arrives in black they'll have to wear one of the costumes.

I want it to be a celebration of life, not a mourning of death. Theres no reason for that.

quote:Originally posted by chickenpoop:

to you atheists saying you want to be cremated, don't you think you're going to do enough burning once you get to hell to spend eternity?

Why put off till tommorow what you can do today? http://www.totse.com/bbs/biggrin.gif (http://www.totse.com/bbs/biggrin.gif)

My fantasy funeral involves weeping virgins, self-flagelating devotees, and my perfumed carcass placed on a steel slab mechanically drawn dramatically into the mouth of a furnace in the shape of a grimacing grotesque, dragging chained wailing slaves to their flaming demise as Mussorgsky's Gnomus plays.

Realistically though I don't care very much. I'll be dead and beyond caring about such matters. Whatever brings comfort to those who care is good enough for me.

Who cares dude? You're dead.

Your funeral isnt about you. It's about your loved ones. It's about them finding a way to come to terms with their loss. If it helps them to believe that you went to a better place and to pray over your soul, then let them deal with it however they want to.

Personally, I'm not a christian, nor do I believe in the afterlife. So when I'm dead and gone, I dont plan on having any interest whatsoever in the affairs of this world.

My uncle owned a funeral home so I practically grew up in one. I've been to every type of funeral possible.

Cheers,

Lost

quote:Originally posted by SilentMind:

Who cares dude? You're dead.

Your funeral isnt about you. It's about your loved ones. It's about them finding a way to come to terms with their loss. If it helps them to believe that you went to a better place and to pray over your soul, then let them deal with it however they want to.

Personally, I'm not a christian, nor do I believe in the afterlife. So when I'm dead and gone, I dont plan on having any interest whatsoever in the affairs of this world.



i dont want to be rememberd as having a blast up in heaven, sicne i dont believe in that garbage. i want one of the last memories people have of me to have nothing to do with religion

it would be nice to think that when i die my family wont have religion brought to my funeral. but i know itll happen, so i probably wont even make a big deal about it.

however the two things that MUST happen are

1. hero of the day by metallica

2. can anybody say...fart machine?

There has will be at least one attempt to bring me back from the dead, lay out the candles around any remains survived and chant latin under a full moon while rockin' out to danzig... As for keeping the christians from inturrupting, thats why you convence your friends to be "funeral bouncers".

I do doubt there being any actual body left over after I die, if it is it will be charred and fragmented...

quote:Originally posted by Issue313:

An attempt to ressurect me



I lol'd.