View Full Version : Top Ten signs your a christian
the ultimate pimp
2006-12-27, 20:37
10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.
9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.
8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.
7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!
6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.
5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.
4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."
3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.
2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.
1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.
boozehound420
2006-12-27, 20:49
QFT
This thread should be renamed "Top Ten Signs you are a "churchian". What you have listed are the classic dogmas of 'churchianity', dogmas that are diametrically opposed to the actual teachings of Christ. Same thing has happened in every culture, to the Buddha's teachings, to Mohammed's, later 'followers' re-interpret the teachings and codify them into dogma. They are the result of generations of theologians bending meanings to suit their vested interests. It's like the black vs white race divide, it's promoted by oppressors who well understand "divide and conquer" as a means of gaining power and wealth.
When will we abandon divisive labels like atheist, christian, jew, black, white, american, russian, democrat, replican etc., and embrace the truth that we are all human, all members of one species, of one human family?
Peace http://www.totse.com/bbs/smile.gif (http://www.totse.com/bbs/smile.gif)
Viraljimmy
2006-12-27, 23:08
quote:Originally posted by redzed:
This thread should be renamed "Top Ten Signs you are a "churchian". What you have listed are the classic dogmas of 'churchianity', dogmas that are diametrically opposed to the actual teachings of Christ.
While I do agree, such distinctions are not so apparent to those of us who think the whole package is a load of bullshit. And alot of those items apply to the most basic christian tenets, imo.
quote:Originally posted by Viraljimmy:
While I do agree, such distinctions are not so apparent to those of us who think the whole package is a load of bullshit. And alot of those items apply to the most basic christian tenets, imo.
And what might those basic tenets be? or are you in fact referring to dogmas you have been taught are "basic christian tenets"? The distinction is simple, one way - the church dogma way, teachs there is only one true church/authority/organisation/saviour and salvation is only through that office, or else!
Another way is to be free of tradition and dogma, free to seek the truth of one's existence without fear.
"Each soul is potentially divine, the goal is to manifest this divinity within by controlling nature: external and internal. Do this either by work, or worship, or psychic control, or philosophy -- by one, or more, or all these -- and be free. This is the whole of religion. Doctrines, or dogmas, or rituals, or books, or temples, or forms, are but secondary details." Swami Vivekananda
Peace http://www.totse.com/bbs/smile.gif (http://www.totse.com/bbs/smile.gif)
IanBoyd3
2006-12-28, 07:10
quote:Originally posted by redzed:
Another way is to be free of tradition and dogma, free to seek the truth of one's existence without fear.
"Each soul is potentially divine, the goal is to manifest this divinity within by controlling nature: external and internal. Do this either by work, or worship, or psychic control, or philosophy -- by one, or more, or all these -- and be free. This is the whole of religion. Doctrines, or dogmas, or rituals, or books, or temples, or forms, are but secondary details." Swami Vivekananda
Peace http://www.totse.com/bbs/smile.gif (http://www.totse.com/bbs/smile.gif)
Rightyo mate. But then, you see, you're not a christian.
VictimKing
2006-12-28, 09:32
QFT. How can anyone argue, it's all fucking true.
My mother is a christian, she does not believe in any of that...
So yeah, you can say it's not entirely true.
The thing is, redzed is right: It's the people that have become brainwashed by power-hungry individuals that believe that shit, not true followers of christ.
VolatileShiftInPersona
2006-12-28, 18:06
I'm a Christian and I don't care what Middle Eastern or Russian or whatever does in the name of religion. Why should I? I believe I'll go to Heaven, so anything that happens on Earth I don't care about unless it affects me directly.
Captain Kaboom
2006-12-28, 18:25
quote:Originally posted by the ultimate pimp:
7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!
Unfortunately, if the Jews would have done their job there we wouldn't have all this trouble today. Damn compassion.
ArmsMerchant
2006-12-28, 22:45
This all hinges on how you define "Christian."
If your definition includes "belief that Hell is an actual place," then Pope John Paul II was not a Christian.
quote:Originally posted by IanBoyd3:
Rightyo mate. But then, you see, you're not a christian.
By whose definition? Far as the term goes, adversaries of the early followers of 'the way' were first called christians as a derogatory term. That method is still in common use, however if you define a christian as a disciple, or student, of Christ, then one could include vast numbers who would never be accepted as christian by those who call themselves christian.
Ignorance is one root of suffering, and it seems forever that ignorance is reflected in the eagerness of some to label themselves and others, to become attached to a position, usually one that is seen as popular. So whilst I would not call myself a christian, I do admire much of the teaching attributed to christ and his followers, and do not feel at all uncomfortable to be associated with what I know of the esoteric message of the person, or ideal/archetype, I have come to know as Jesus Christ.
Peace http://www.totse.com/bbs/smile.gif (http://www.totse.com/bbs/smile.gif)
General Rodent
2006-12-29, 09:36
10. Penis in mans rectal cavity
9. Penis in mans mouth cavity
8. Penis in mans left ear
7,6,5,4,3,2,1 penises all over men.
albinoblacksheep
2006-12-29, 19:55
quote:Originally posted by VictimKing:
QFT. How can anyone argue, it's all fucking true.
I'm a Christian, or well, I belive in God. But I don't do any of those things. So it isn't.
postdiluvium
2006-12-29, 21:05
quote:Originally posted by the ultimate pimp:
10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.
9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.
8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.
7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!
6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.
5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.
4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."
3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.
2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.
1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.
10. The Old Testament, specifically the Books from the Torah, speak of there being multiple Gods. God just calls Himself jealous and says that only He should be worshipped and not the others. Not necessarily He should be the only one we believe exists.
9. I actually am a scientist(still under totse controversy until Digital_Saviors approval). I take creation to mean that we are carbon based life forms just like everything else on this planet. I also take the original interperetation of God "breathing life into us" as blood, which sustains our lives.
8. I am a Christian, but I really don't buy into the Holy Trinity stuff.
7. I think that was really a cop out for Jewish people to use when they were tribal nomads. They were imperialistic and invaded many lands slaughtering possibly millions. I think they just said God told them to do that to justify their actions. Kind of like how the western powers used Manifest Destiny to imperialized the rest of the world.
6. I respect Hindus. Their religion is among the oldest and has survived until this day. They also do not judge our religion as people from our religion judge Islam. They are better people, in general, because of that.
5. Yeah, I don't know why literal fundamentalists still exist.
4. No such thing as Hell. There are two major differences between The Old Testament and The New Testament.
a. God speaks to the people in The Old, while being almost non existant in The New.
b. There is no such place called Hell in The Old, while this place magically appears in The New when God dissappears. All the Old has is Ben Hinnom (Gehanna) Valley where trash was burned and sacrafices were made by the Kings to their Pagan Gods.
Also... the Jewish sect God placed to take care of the Temple, Saduccees, were said to neither believe in Heaven nor Hell. God must has put such a sect in charge of His temple for a reason.
3. I'm a Biochemist, I don't even need to argue on this reason.
2. God doesn't listen to us. He doesn't even care about us. He has a whole plane of existence to take care of. Who the hell are we to be more important than anything in the vast diversity of existence?
1. It is true. The majority of Christians don't even bother reading the Bible. They find moral outrage in everything and say its society's fault for making their children into terrible little drug addicts, while the Bible is stories of genocide, adultery, rape, slavery...
IanBoyd3
2006-12-29, 21:50
quote:Originally posted by redzed:
By whose definition? Far as the term goes, adversaries of the early followers of 'the way' were first called christians as a derogatory term. That method is still in common use, however if you define a christian as a disciple, or student, of Christ, then one could include vast numbers who would never be accepted as christian by those who call themselves christian.
Ignorance is one root of suffering, and it seems forever that ignorance is reflected in the eagerness of some to label themselves and others, to become attached to a position, usually one that is seen as popular. So whilst I would not call myself a christian, I do admire much of the teaching attributed to christ and his followers, and do not feel at all uncomfortable to be associated with what I know of the esoteric message of the person, or ideal/archetype, I have come to know as Jesus Christ.
Peace http://www.totse.com/bbs/smile.gif (http://www.totse.com/bbs/smile.gif)
The christian he was referring to in his list applies to the mainstream christianity that follows the bible and the church and all the other nonsense.
I agree that Jesus was a good guy with a quite extensive little plan back then. It's a shame it all blew up in his face. Of course it's hard to really be sure exactly what he said, or who said it, because there were a lot of (is it Jeshua or Yeshua?)'s running around, and that coupled with the numerous mistranslations, alterations, edits, and what not, could've completely changed his message. Yet, I respect what he was trying to do.
But yes, this top ten list was obviously not directed at you, be that the case.
You can say 'christian' if you like, but it's missing the common definition entirely. Sort of like redefining God as the universe itself - I mean I see their point but it just further complicates things and doesn't have a purpose. Erm, I hope this post was somewhat coherent.
I'm Catholic, we're cool with evolution. Pope Benedict XVI actually said that it could easily fit into the bible and that the bible is not literal.
You don't pray for personal benefit, i have a feeling that God gets very pissed people do this selfishly.
Sentinel
2006-12-30, 07:41
lawl ur so smert n u r so gud at using inglish!
i bet u no evryting bout relijun lawl.
thebigmoney
2006-12-30, 08:34
switch every instance of the word "christian" in there with "jew." or "black person." why is it that people can pick on christians and not be called racist? that is what it is...
Digital_Savior
2006-12-30, 09:53
quote:Originally posted by nicky69:
I'm Catholic, we're cool with evolution. Pope Benedict XVI actually said that it could easily fit into the bible and that the bible is not literal.
Hence why some Protestant's say that Catholics aren't truly Christians. I happen to be one of them. You cannot both believe in, have faith in, and base your religion off of the Bible, and claim that it's not the literal word of God at the same time.
Rizzo in a box
2006-12-30, 10:46
quote:Originally posted by Digital_Savior:
Hence why some Protestant's say that Catholics aren't truly Christians. I happen to be one of them. You cannot both believe in, have faith in, and base your religion off of the Bible, and claim that it's not the literal word of God at the same time.
Why not? If you have true faith, you need no books or priests.
How can the NT be literal when half of it is in parables, anyway?
[This message has been edited by Rizzo in a box (edited 12-30-2006).]
Phanatic
2006-12-30, 15:18
I approve of the OP's list http://www.totse.com/bbs/smile.gif (http://www.totse.com/bbs/smile.gif)
Pyroyoshi
2006-12-30, 17:24
you beat me to p[osting this list o.p, i use to have it on my blog.
Generic Box Of Cookies
2006-12-30, 20:59
quote:Originally posted by postdiluvium:
2. God doesn't listen to us. He doesn't even care about us. He has a whole plane of existence to take care of. Who the hell are we to be more important than anything in the vast diversity of existence?
If that's true, then what the hell is the point in life?
SAMMY249
2006-12-30, 21:14
quote:Originally posted by the ultimate pimp:
10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.
9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.
8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.
7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!
6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.
5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.
4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."
3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.
2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.
1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.
I didnt read most of this because its mostly bs that i can easily dismiss within second but i want to make two points.
1.Those arent signs of a true christian.
2.My attention was to your #1 entry you say that the atheists know more about the Bible but most of the ppl on totse are atheists and dont know ANYTHING about the Bible or why the KJV is the right translation and i can go on and on.
So my point to you is to gtfo because you know nothing about christianity or the Bible
postdiluvium
2006-12-30, 21:52
quote:Originally posted by Generic Box Of Cookies:
If that's true, then what the hell is the point in life?
This is the biggest mistake of the concept of life that has been made since the beginning of conscience. The fallacy with this question is to first imply that life even has a point. While things that are living can assign themselves directions and goals, it doesn't necessarily mean that those directions and goals were inherent since the beginning of their lives.
Life has no point. Life just is. God doesn't listen to us. God does not make the extra effort to give us destinies and callings. We determine what we make of our lives. We give ourselves the false pretense that our lives have a point to it. As if we are hear for a reason. In reality, we are here just because of a series of events that allowed us to grow and thrive in such an environment.
Shit didnt happen for a reason, it just did.
postdiluvium
2006-12-30, 21:54
quote:Originally posted by SAMMY249:
2.My attention was to your #1 entry you say that the atheists know more about the Bible but most of the ppl on totse are atheists and dont know ANYTHING about the Bible or why the KJV is the right translation and i can go on and on.
I guess by this statement Totse has become a representation of the actual world and its population.
SAMMY249
2006-12-30, 21:57
quote:Originally posted by postdiluvium:
I guess by this statement Totse has become a representation of the actual world and its population.
No just anarchist atheists in general.
Hare_Geist
2006-12-30, 21:59
I gotta say that I absolutely love all the stereotyping going on in this thread.
Balroken
2006-12-30, 22:02
quote:Originally posted by Generic Box Of Cookies:
If that's true, then what the hell is the point in life?
To reproduce Durrrrrrrrrrrrrr
GreenSea
2006-12-31, 03:31
1. On a form, under 'Religion/Faith', you check off 'Christianity'.
Chairman_Mao
2006-12-31, 08:40
These are signs that you are an intolerant bible thumping asshole, please do not paint all Christians with the same brush. Believing all Christians are like that is like believing that all Moslems are terrorists, it's simply not true.
AgeOfTherion
2006-12-31, 15:17
" Moslems "
Funny list btw.
ShouldTrip
2006-12-31, 16:49
I found this quite amusing.
Viraljimmy
2007-01-02, 22:37
quote:Originally posted by SAMMY249:
No just anarchist atheists in general.
Sammy, you a fucking retard. Die.
crazed_hamster
2007-01-02, 23:32
quote:Originally posted by postdiluvium:
This is the biggest mistake of the concept of life that has been made since the beginning of conscience. The fallacy with this question is to first imply that life even has a point. While things that are living can assign themselves directions and goals, it doesn't necessarily mean that those directions and goals were inherent since the beginning of their lives.
Life has no point. Life just is. God doesn't listen to us. God does not make the extra effort to give us destinies and callings. We determine what we make of our lives. We give ourselves the false pretense that our lives have a point to it. As if we are hear for a reason. In reality, we are here just because of a series of events that allowed us to grow and thrive in such an environment.
Shit didnt happen for a reason, it just did.
What then, honored scientist, is the point of your God? and why do you believe in your God?
SafeAsMilk
2007-01-03, 00:55
Nice generalizations.
quote:Originally posted by IanBoyd3:
I agree that Jesus was a good guy with a quite extensive little plan back then. It's a shame it all blew up in his face.
How so? There seems to continue to be a wide ranging debate on the ideas Jesus/YSHVH planted in the human psyche. Challenges such as "Love your enemies", a path that once followed immediately rids one of any enemies for if one loves a person they are no longer an enemy http://www.totse.com/bbs/smile.gif (http://www.totse.com/bbs/smile.gif)
There appears to have been a string of teachers throughout all ages, in all cultures, whose teachings had such power they were taken up by masses that followed. Those teachings were like seeds that grew in the human collective of knowledge Jesus/YSHVH, Krishna, Bahalluah, Krishnamurti, Buddha, Zeno, Lao tzu, the list is huge. Their ideas live on, grow and exercise profound influence on human history.
Peace http://www.totse.com/bbs/smile.gif (http://www.totse.com/bbs/smile.gif)