dark_one
2007-04-02, 10:49
because I was late to register. The won't let me in so I decided to write them this letter which was inspired (quite heavily) by Billy Conolly
Dear Eastercamp officials
Please bear with me in this letter, since the debilitating headaches and creeping inexorable blindness that currently beset me, make it difficult to write this letter. It is also difficult to write by the kerosene lamp here in the back of the homeless shelter. Although I am in the throws of terminal illness and undeserved poverty, I do not write this Eastercamp request for myself. Rather, it is for a small child named ‘Little Willy’, who resides in the shelter with me. Willy, you see, was abandoned shortly after birth by his HIV positive, cocaine addicted, pokemon-worshipping mother, who frequently set him on fire – both to keep warm, as well as to satisfy the voices in her head. Willy has been living with me for the past year. We can often be seen in Cathedral Square, me in my patched up wheelchair that the Veterans association gave me, after I lost my legs and right arm on a missionary mission to a war torn country, teaching a village of orphans about Jesus.
Little Willy’s only joy in life is when kind figures, such as yourself, allow him to participate in Christian focus events. If you could only see his one remaining eye light up when he is in such a kind, caring, and ultimately fun environment such as the one you provide. But alas, by the time Willy raised the money to register for Easter camp by begging, and dancing in a tutu for small change in the square, Willy missed the deadline to register.
It won’t be long before Little Willy will be too sick and weak to even eat the Easter egg I bought him with the money I received by selling my wheelchair, since his already compromised health has began to fail. The doctors at the charity hospital have assured me that he would almost certainly rally if given the will to live. When I overheard him mumbling “Eastercamp… Eastercamp…” this morning, while in a feverish coma, I knew that his last hope would be if I could register him for Eastercamp, even though he missed deadline.
If you wish to contact me to let Willy register, I can be reached at ********* if rats that inhabit these asbestos clad walls have not already chewed through the phone lines. Thank you, and be assured Little Willy’s thoughts will be with you always.
So... criticism?
[This message has been edited by dark_one (edited 04-02-2007).]
Dear Eastercamp officials
Please bear with me in this letter, since the debilitating headaches and creeping inexorable blindness that currently beset me, make it difficult to write this letter. It is also difficult to write by the kerosene lamp here in the back of the homeless shelter. Although I am in the throws of terminal illness and undeserved poverty, I do not write this Eastercamp request for myself. Rather, it is for a small child named ‘Little Willy’, who resides in the shelter with me. Willy, you see, was abandoned shortly after birth by his HIV positive, cocaine addicted, pokemon-worshipping mother, who frequently set him on fire – both to keep warm, as well as to satisfy the voices in her head. Willy has been living with me for the past year. We can often be seen in Cathedral Square, me in my patched up wheelchair that the Veterans association gave me, after I lost my legs and right arm on a missionary mission to a war torn country, teaching a village of orphans about Jesus.
Little Willy’s only joy in life is when kind figures, such as yourself, allow him to participate in Christian focus events. If you could only see his one remaining eye light up when he is in such a kind, caring, and ultimately fun environment such as the one you provide. But alas, by the time Willy raised the money to register for Easter camp by begging, and dancing in a tutu for small change in the square, Willy missed the deadline to register.
It won’t be long before Little Willy will be too sick and weak to even eat the Easter egg I bought him with the money I received by selling my wheelchair, since his already compromised health has began to fail. The doctors at the charity hospital have assured me that he would almost certainly rally if given the will to live. When I overheard him mumbling “Eastercamp… Eastercamp…” this morning, while in a feverish coma, I knew that his last hope would be if I could register him for Eastercamp, even though he missed deadline.
If you wish to contact me to let Willy register, I can be reached at ********* if rats that inhabit these asbestos clad walls have not already chewed through the phone lines. Thank you, and be assured Little Willy’s thoughts will be with you always.
So... criticism?
[This message has been edited by dark_one (edited 04-02-2007).]