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View Full Version : Jesus walks with us today!! Rejoice!!!


Otsego_Amigo
2007-04-04, 00:41
CNN (http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/02/16/miami.preacher/index.html)

"De Jesus preaches there is no devil and no sin. His followers, he says, literally can do no wrong in God's eyes.

...

And what about the tattoo of 666 on his arm?

Although it's a number usually associated with Satan, not the son of God, de Jesus says that 666 and the Antichrist are, like him, misunderstood.

The Antichrist is not the devil, de Jesus tells his congregation; he's the being who replaces Jesus on Earth.

"Antichrist is the best person in the world," he says. "Antichrist means don't put your eyes on Jesus because Jesus of Nazareth wasn't a Christian. Antichrist means do not put your eyes on Jesus Christ of Nazareth. Put it on Jesus after the cross."

And de Jesus says that means him.

So far, de Jesus says that his flock hasn't been scared off by his claims of being the Antichrist. In a show of the sway he holds over the group, 30 members of his congregation Tuesday went to a tattoo parlor to have 666 also permanently etched onto their skin."

This is real, he was spoken to in a dream by angels, people the struggle is over! Christ has returned!

ArgonPlasma2000
2007-04-04, 00:47
Catholics: they will believe anything.

Pilsu
2007-04-04, 00:50
Did anyone ask him to do any cantrips yet?

Rust
2007-04-04, 01:22
quote:Originally posted by ArgonPlasma2000:

Catholics: they will believe anything.

Morons: they will say anything!

Elephantitis Man
2007-04-04, 02:13
Crucify him again!

the ultimate pimp
2007-04-04, 04:29
quote:Originally posted by ArgonPlasma2000:

Catholics: they will believe anything.

Shut up you protestant whore!You evil spineless souless protestant!May u and your heathen brothers get what u deserve in Judgement.

AngryFemme
2007-04-04, 04:40
^ Look!! It's Masta Thief's little brother!

MolecularMollusc
2007-04-04, 05:41
My God. I think we should raise money to get Masta Theif's entire family vasectomies.

Hexadecimal
2007-04-04, 15:56
Why surgical castration? Can't we just cut their parts clean off and hope they bleed to death?

Or, better yet, why not just let them live? Kill all the morons and there isn't any entertainment left in the world...

KevinK
2007-04-05, 16:48
fuck off

Beholder
2007-04-05, 16:59
That man is not divine. Hopefully some of the Christians on this forum (whoever they may be) will recognize this.

I can only paraphrase it, but if we are to look biblically, we find that: If anyone comes to you preaching a gospel contradictory to this one, be it man or angel, disregard it as evil.

^^^^ Or something to that effect. Notwithstanding we're given biblical instruction that we very well can and do things that are wrong in God's eyes.

That is, of course, according to the bible anyway - which I feel is divine.

EvilJesus
2007-04-05, 20:20
yeeeesss.... worship meeeee....

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *cough* I mean, peace on earth and all that crap :P