I was wondering last night, if God or Jesus or one of the many many many other Gods returned to Earth to take a look at who deserves to go to heaven....what would they think?

If they came back as a homeless begger, stopping people to ask for change....do you think Christians especially (but not exclusively) would give more than others?

Do you think he would honestly see religious people as more deserving of going to heaven?

I am an atheist by the way so this was a totally hypothetical thing.....based on how religion and religious people think of themselves as more worthy of going to heaven.....but i dont think that by calling yourself a christian automatically makes you elligable.

The first thing to come out of their mouths:

Jesus: "What did they just say in my name?"

Mohammad: "Who said that would make them martyrs?"

Buddha: "That's a bit extreme. Why would they do that to all second born children?"

Brahma: "How did one of my premonitions get in that religion? And that one... and that one!!"

Elijah: "I introduce, the messi... WTF? You are telling me that after they were thrown out by God, the came back anyway? A world government made it for them??!! Men made it for them?! They couldn't wait for me to come back?"

Joseph Smith: "They actually believe that stuff? Oh well, at least my religion is full of hot girls."

Joseph Smith: "They actually believe that stuff? Oh well, at least my religion is full of hot girls."

LOL and qtf (my wife was a LDS).

Anyway the old time rabbis used to say that when the messiah finally appears in Jerusalem that the first question he'll be asked is 'Lord,is this your first or second coming?' and that he will need to consider his answer really really carefully....

Buddha: "That's a bit extreme. Why would they do that to all second born children?"


Care to explain, I searched Google but found nothing.

I'm of the belief that no matter what faith in a particular religion you have, if you're a good person, a truly just God should let you enter Heaven. Something as small as having doubts as to His existence, when at the same time you lead a moral and righteous life, shouldn't bar you from going to Heaven.

Care to explain, I searched Google but found nothing.

China is full of Buddhists. They abort any child that is isn't kosher with the state or if it is a second child. Just to receive their universal health care.

LOL and qtf (my wife was a LDS).

Anyway the old time rabbis used to say that when the messiah finally appears in Jerusalem that the first question he'll be asked is 'Lord,is this your first or second coming?' and that he will need to consider his answer really really carefully....

How were you able to marry an LDS without converting yourself?

The fiery chariot is suppose to bring Elijah back to announce the coming of the Messiah before the Messiah even gets here. To tell you the truth, we probably killed him by mistake. Charles Manson could have been the Prophet Elijah. Even if he wasn't we would probably kill who ever the messiah is when it came. We wouldn't understand what the hell it was doing or what it was talking about. So we would probably kill it.

How were you able to marry an LDS without converting yourself?


Because she wasn't an LDS when we married.

Anyway the old time rabbis used to say that when the messiah finally appears in Jerusalem that the first question he'll be asked is 'Lord,is this your first or second coming?' and that he will need to consider his answer really really carefully....
Can you explain this? I don't understand why the Lord would need to consider... I'd think it would be the Rabbis who would be apprehensive about the answer... :confused:

Can you explain this? I don't understand why the Lord would need to consider... I'd think it would be the Rabbis who would be apprehensive about the answer... :confused:

Because if he answers that it is his second comming, they willl "kill" him again - you know, like they say Jews killed Jesus...?

I think that's the joke.

I was wondering last night, if God or Jesus or one of the many many many other Gods returned to Earth to take a look at who deserves to go to heaven....what would they think?

(Hypothetically speaking)

I don't know what the Gods would think, but I'd like to be around to see the look on some of the people's faces who thought they were going, but didn't quite make the bus.

:eek:

I can track Angryfemme's post. Yay for tracking down a 30+ year-old woman. ^_^

Because if he answers that it is his second comming, they willl "kill" him again - you know, like they say Jews killed Jesus...?

I think that's the joke.
Oh, I see. Seems kinda blasphemous! :p

I can track Angryfemme's post. Yay for tracking down a 30+ year-old woman. ^_^

Or you could just message me and ask where I'm at. :rolleyes:

Aren't you the poster who tracked me down on the Red Cross bulletin board after Hurricane Katrina?

If they returned, we'd have a lot of shit to deal with. Specifically: Fucking deities manifesting physically on earth, judging people.

That'd be the biggest thing to ever hit anything.

Also, Buddha would be the coolest one to talk to. Confusing as fuck, but still cool.

Jesus would be putting the smack down on Jerry Falwell and that Miracle Spring Water guy, and those "God Hates Fags" people

Allah would be kicking ass and taking names in the mid-east

Moses would be chillin' with his Jew-gallos in the holiest of holies.

Joe Smith would be getting his ass yelled at by some homeowner who he's bothering with his fake shit.

Confucious? He'd be in China, wondering why people aren't paying any attention to him.

I believe that if a god made the universe, he would have to be scientific and would honor skepticism more than blind faith... :D

Aren't you the poster who tracked me down on the Red Cross bulletin board after Hurricane Katrina?

:eek:

(And it was!)

http://safelifeproducts.com/shop/images/PS218_Pepper_Spray.jpg

If only it were that simple.