I am God. It's true, the title says it all. It seems that most of these threads created here are just turmoil and strife. If you'd like to ask me some questions, feel free.

I'd like to consider this thread somewhere where questions can be asked without being insulted. I'll be glad to answer. *Thumbs up*

Make me immortal and omnipotent, please. :)

Edit: Ah, as a question... will you please make me immortal and/or (preferably and) omnipotent?

Immortal meaning not unable to die, but only that I will not die unless I want to.

That's a request, not a question.

Plus, you'd get bored after a while. Trust me on that one.

I don't mind. I'd die when I needed to.

Hey god, what's up?

Not to much, you know. Hangin' with some bitches and ho's. In all seriousness, further creating the expansion of the known universe and hiding myself from the non-believers. And making myself seem far to obvious to the believers. You don't think I don't want people arguing, right?

God?

Why do you harvest so much hate and ignorance in a cell, allowing all the Masta Thiefs in the universe to grow past the zygote stage?

None of us take even half the amusement from it that you do.

Really - it's not funny!

Cut it out! You twisted, Geppetto-esque Madman :mad:

You answered that question yourself, AngryFemme. I like you though, so I'll see what I can do from here on out.

I am God. It's true, the title says it all. It seems that most of these threads created here are just turmoil and strife. If you'd like to ask me some questions, feel free.

I'd like to consider this thread somewhere where questions can be asked without being insulted. I'll be glad to answer. *Thumbs up*


Can I own a Canadian?

If you consider canadians to be a lesser people, and have wrought some kind of undoing against you, then take a shot at it. No guarantee's though.

All I gotta say is do as you please, just don't litter. I've been to canada a few times, vacationed there. It's very clean, don't ruin it.

I have a question. Do you think this is as funny, also? http://www.davesdaily.com/pictures/867-forgive-them.htm

hiding myself from the non-believers.

God hides?
*Runs off feeling clever*

I feel like a turkey sandwich now.

Can I buy Indonesia?

What is the soul?

Does consciousness pre-exist the body/brain? If so, then how?

Who am I? Why do I feel seperated from everything else I perceive?

What is the soul?

Does consciousness pre-exist the body/brain? If so, then how?

Who am I? Why do I feel seperated from everything else I perceive?

I think you should start a thread or two.

Sorry about the wait, lost a bet with Shiva, and had to get some money. It's a long way from a bank up here.


First question: Jesus did like hookers, and yes that is funny.

Second Question: You can try and buy Indonesia, it might be a little pricy though.

Third Question: I was waiting for this one to come up.

Listen, for just a second please. The soul, is you. It's what you are, it's what makes you, you. And anyone who says otherwise is wrong. It isn't some meter that clocks your good and bad deeds, as those hardly count later on in life. Trust me, all you have to remember is that it is you.

No, conciousness does not pre-exist the brain, I really don't know where that theory came from either. What makes you feel so detached from everything you percieve is the fact that you are human. Human's percieve and it is up to them to decide what to do with what they see. Whether it is embrace everything, down to the last detail, or ignore it all. It's up to you.

Why does God misspell things? You're a fraud!

Make me immortal and omnipotent, please. :)

Edit: Ah, as a question... will you please make me immortal and/or (preferably and) omnipotent?

Immortal meaning not unable to die, but only that I will not die unless I want to.

TW--guess what? YOU ARE! You--your soul, your spirit--always has been, and always will be, part of the world without end.

OP, we are pretty much on the same page, although the way you out it will most likely affront nearly everyone. As Heinlein put it, "I am God, thou art God, all that groks is God."

Each one of us is an individuation of the divine, and we create our own reality even as we experience it. Verily is it written, we are not in the world--the world is in us.

This is pretty much what Jesus meant when he said "the kingdom of God is within you."

Peace.

TW--guess what? YOU ARE! You--your soul, your spirit--always has been, and always will be, part of the world without end.
That'd be neat, but I see no reason (evidence) to believe it. :(

God?

Why do you harvest so much hate and ignorance in a cell, allowing all the Masta Thiefs in the universe to grow past the zygote stage?

None of us take even half the amusement from it that you do.

Really - it's not funny!

Cut it out! You twisted, Geppetto-esque Madman :mad:

why?!?

God did it ever get annoying having to listen to that bitch from those Judy Blum books ask you questions about getting her period?

I think you should start a thread or two.
One of these days.


Originally posted by turkeysandwich Listen, for just a second please. The soul, is you. It's what you are, it's what makes you, you. And anyone who says otherwise is wrong. It isn't some meter that clocks your good and bad deeds, as those hardly count later on in life. Trust me, all you have to remember is that it is you.

That's not clear enough and I asked you to answer a third question, "Who am I". Here is why it's not clear enough --
"What is the soul?"
The soul is you.
"Who am I?"
The soul.
"What is the soul?"

You see what I mean? If the soul = you then all you are saying is you = you. Further, if the soul = me then how can it make me, me?
That's like saying, I make me, me. And that can't be true unless I'm God. And even then we still don't have a clear definition of what the soul is.


Originally posted by turkeysandwich No, conciousness does not pre-exist the brain, If this is true then consciousness cannot post-exist the brain. So the soul would not be conscious at all. No heaven, no hell because there is no consciousness to experience it.

Another thing, if the soul is me then when I die so does the soul. Either that or I never really die.

Well, please explain it for me.

If the consciousness does not pre-exist the brain then could you explain what death is like?

If you can't that's fine, I'm pretty sure understanding how to not think anymore is imfathomable, and that's why there are such things as heaven and hell.

If the consciousness does not pre-exist the brain then could you explain what death is like?

If you can't that's fine, I'm pretty sure understanding how to not think anymore is imfathomable, and that's why there are such things as heaven and hell.

Exactly. The idea of ceasing to be conscious is so hard to comprehend, that people cop out and posit man made afterlives.

I said there will be no flaming in this thread. Please.

Listen, if you really want to have an immense indepth discussion about your soul, I would love too. Shoot me a PM sometime. I would like to discuss things with, as you seem very intelligent.

And I am not saying that I am a god due to the fact that I am saying it. It's true. I am God, and none of you can disprove it. And before you say it, I know I can't prove it, but since I already believe who else do I need to impress.

As for consciense pre-existing the brain; you are not dead before you are born. The act of being "born" unto this world, I.E. coming out of the womb, is only a term. You are alive before you come out of the womb. You are alive the minute you have single cell composing the past DNA which makes up you yourself right now. Also saying that because it doesn't exist pre, doesn't mean it can't exast post. I'm going to pull the trump card here and say; it's that way because I made it that way. I'm god, I can do that.


As for Judy Blum; she wasn't the first. People have been having their period for a much longer time than that. She's just really obnoxious and pestering. So I killed her.

Dear God,

Why don't you heal amputees? (http://www.whydoesgodhateamputees.com/)

Why Cain?

Cheers,
Lost

Did you really do the J. mans mom?

Freakin Sweet

so when do you begin to pwn the human race?
what do you have your sandwiches with?
what'll i get if i sell/give you my soul?
whatd you look like just over 2007 years ago?

Which religion is right?

Am I going to heaven or hell?

First Question: The reason I don't heal the amputee's is because I don't heal anybody. Why should I help them, when they've probably done nothing that I consider worthy of life-saving.

Second Question: Because I like Abel more.

Third Question: Yes, I did. She had crabs though, so I made everyone think she was crazy saying that I didn't do it.

Fourth Question(s): 2045. Good tomatoes and spicy mustard. Depends, maybe like 50 bucks and a ticket to see the bruins. Same as I do now. Old, but fucking sexy....I got mary didn't I?


Fifth Question(s): They're all right. Your probably going to heaven. Only the really bad people go to hell. People get too scared nowadays about if they're going to heaven or hell. Most people go to heaven. Except Masta Thief. I'm making sure he's going somewhere else.

Which religion is right?

Am I going to heaven or hell?

SInce you ask.. . . .
1) All of them, and none of them. That is, there is no such thing as "right" and "wrong". These are merely labels we put on things to denote what we do, and do not, approve of. They are all "right" in that most of they agree that underlying the physical illusion, there is Spirit. Where they are most grossly incorrect is insisting that there is only one path to God--there are many paths to the top of them mountain, but they all get to the same place.

2) heaven and hell--as actual places--are myths. We all create our own heaven or hell by the choices we make. After "death"--that is, when the immortal spirit has no furhter use for the body--it either reincarnates or stays merged with pure Spirit.

Well obviously Jesus is your son, so you had to have gotten it on with Mary. My question is, did she let you do anal?

Ok, if you're really God, answer me this question:

Who are the final five Cylons?

First Question: Yes, and she was surprisingly kinky too.

Second Question: I can't tell you as my superior's will get pissed, plus just watch the rest of BSG and find out.

Well, I was planning to do that anyway, so that's cool. BTW, can we see more of of Lucy Lawless naked in a vat of goo? Thanks.

Why does God misspell things? You're a fraud!

WE misspell them you heathen :angry:


Could you arrange me some money? Make that a lot of money

Firstly, why have you not destroyed / killed me when you had the chance?

Will I ever make anything of my life - or will I waste it?

Will I ever marry this girl like I believe you want me to?

fuck you, you fucking fool.

Can i ask u sumthin? R u god or just god's voice (messenger)? I can't disprove u from being god and i can't say u r. See i reali don't work. If i say u're not god, doe's that mean i don't beleave in you? And if i do beleave in u being god and u turn out not 2 b god, would i then b beleave in a false idol? I'm not gonna let u answer that last question, but let u prove that u r god.

um god I got 2 questions 1) what am I wearing while I am typing this 2) is beer proof that you do love us and want us to be happy?

A lot of you just gave me a request, not a question. For the person who wanted some money, give it two weeks, 3 days, 15 hours, 37 minutes, 12 seconds.

I made beer because I love you. :smile:

As to what you're wearing: Something that's damn sexy.


To Beholder: I haven't killed you because you haven't done anything that I believe worthy of an official smoting. Plus there's a lot of paper work.

There's a good chance if you, as of right now, start trying, and not asking me via message board, that you will go somewhere in life. It's human nature to succeed.

Yes.

what made you choose the handle of "turkey sandwhich"?

god will I find love or will I end up alone?

what made you choose the handle of "turkey sandwhich"?

because it fits god's sense of humor

You'll probably find love, everyone does nowadays.

god will I find love or will I end up alone?

Best way to find it is to create it.
Sow love and you shall reap love.

I must suck as a farmer then because I keep finding these crazy gals

Don't worry Voom, I've taken care of the problem. In 7 days time you will be happy.

god, ive always wanted to witness a car crash first hand, like, 15 feet away from me, but get out un-harmed (no pain whatsoever :D ). being god, you know where i live and, being god, you know when i want it to happen. thanks!

alrite yeah, that last post i did was bullshit.

first off, will i go to hell if i go car shopping again soon? at that, will i get caught if i go soon? also, when will i get a girl? :D :D

lol, but yeah, those were serious questions.

That's a request, not a question.

Plus, you'd get bored after a while. Trust me on that one.

i disagree. with the ability to shoot cops without kevlar and win the firefight, i'll have you know - anything can be entertaining. a simple afternoon tea for example can turn into a scene to an action movie.a nd yes i'm wicked baked. how else would this make it in here?

There's a good chance if you keep stealing cars, that you'll get caught, and if you do it a lot then no, you won't get into heaven. You'll get a girl within 2 months.

There are a lot of things I can put up with, but a noob who steals my name is not one of them.

That wasn't a question.

Why have I no hair?

make me happy again. please.

i m god 2 lets sex n make more gods lol

Do you feel all races are equal?

I have a question for you.

why did you choose to create the human race?

What was the point of the destruction we would cause? Was it for your pure entertainment?

And also, I have a riddle for you. I'm giving this riddle to you only because, well one, its a riddle, and two, your god; so you should be able to answer this.

One duck is in the front.
One duck is in the back.
There are ducks on both sides.
How many ducks are there?

When and how will the human race become extinct?

Hey God,

I was going to thank you for the strange, unexplained healing of the holes that were in my Dad's stomach a while back, but since you said you don't heal people I'll just assume the doctors were screwing with him.

I have a question: What was the deal with Satan turning on you and all? Why didn't you just bitch-slap him or something?

Also, is it even possible to lick to the center of a Tootsie Pop?

And would it be a sin if I gave my friend head while he has a girlfriend? It's a little late for me to ask but I was just wondering.

You have no hair because you're bald.

That wasn't a question.

Yes, all races are equal in my eye.

I chose to create the human race as a race with complete and free will. That didn't work out to well. The destruction came about mainly because none of you could settle stupid differences about who was right, and blew the shit out of each other. It isn't my responsibility to solve your problems, you just think if you pray once in a while I'll bail you out. Not so. I won't and probably never will. It isn't that I'm mean, it's just that I think poeple need to learn to function on their own and solve their own problems.

There are as many ducks as I damn well please. I say 4, there are 4, I say 18 billion, there are 18 billion.

The devil left because he's a bitch, and I did bitch-slap him.
That's why he's stuck in hell.

Yes.

Yes, but now you're a whore.

I have a question. What is the meaning to life? And don't say 42.

Oh, and why did you create retards?

Are drugs a gateway into other worlds, or are all the effects strictly inside our head?

The meaning of life, in simplest forms, is for you to accomplish something that will better society. Don't argue with me, if you disagree make another thread.

Retards are here for my entertainment.

It's all in your head man, sorry.

Dear God
Why did Jesus never refer to you as a turkey sandwich?

Why am I bald?

That was a very nice answer.

Why does christanity so bias? They make you look so good, though only evil can create evil. They say you can solve anything, and you will, but you wont.

Some people are so commited to christianity; they pray everyday, go to church every sunday. Hell, they pray for 2 or 3 hours a day straight.

Though why dont you help them?

I understand that when they die, they'll go to heaven or whatever, though while their alive, they pray and pray and you dont do shit. Why not? they commit so much time to praising you and you dont do shit.

Also, God, I enjoy you showing yourself. I enjoy you showing your other side, that you have anger, that you can be mean, and you dont allow any smart ass comment to just pass you. I appreciate it. I really do.

How do I "get down"?

That was a very nice answer.

Why does christanity so bias? They make you look so good, though only evil can create evil. They say you can solve anything, and you will, but you wont.

Some people are so commited to christianity; they pray everyday, go to church every sunday. Hell, they pray for 2 or 3 hours a day straight.

Though why dont you help them?

I understand that when they die, they'll go to heaven or whatever, though while their alive, they pray and pray and you dont do shit. Why not? they commit so much time to praising you and you dont do shit.

Also, God, I enjoy you showing yourself. I enjoy you showing your other side, that you have anger, that you can be mean, and you dont allow any smart ass comment to just pass you. I appreciate it. I really do.


I like you. And thank you for your comments. The reason why I don't only help certain people is that I believe that I should be fair. If I help one person, why shouldn't I help everyone. Just because people don't believe me, doesn't make them bad. It makes them free-willed, which is what I wanted. Why should I help someone, if the only reason they pray to me is because most of the time, they want something. They don't just pray because they like me. If you want something, work hard, and get it yourself. It isn't that I won't solve things. Not at all. It's just that the minute I solve things, the majority of you will stop praying to me, the second you have got what you want. Why should I make you think that, if you pray once or twice, I'll fix your problems. It's not that I don't help. Believe me you, I help. I do heal, and I do perform miracles. I only help those who need it. Think about it, if you have cancer you don't need help. Cancer is a virus, one that I will not cure, or stop. A lot like AIDS. I won't stop that one either. I was hoping with the AIDS epidemic it would give some of you the idea, scare you actually into having safe sex. Yes, I work with fear. No, I don't care if you don't like it. You don't have to worship me, you'll only be hurting yourself. I know I have said "I don't help people" it's only partly true. I only don't help, the unwilling. The people who from the first minute anything that happens to them, they pray for me to help. Those who will not help themselves, will recieve no help from me.


Your bald because of the peruvian hooker you picked up. Even though you wrapped it up, you still came down on the bad end of things. My advice, go to the all night clinic at the hospital and get checked for STD's.

Do you think that your choice of not helping someone is giving them hope that you will, soon one day help them? That they havent prayed enough for you to notice them?

Are humans covering your evil doings by placing you on a pedistal and saying "He will one day save us from evil." over and over again? Is it because they cant even give the thought that you arent pure 'good'? That you, have the same, exact emotions that you gave us?

And from there, would you say that you created everyone in your image, that everyone on earth is you?

And last but not least, Why doesnt anyone ever try to have a conversation with you. All they do is ask you questions, waiting the your answer; the right answer.

Hell, in the second grade during lunch time, I would walk around school grounds, talking to you, having a conversation. I never stopped for an answer, since, I would never hear anything. I would always be talking, assuming you would be listening.

My choice of not helping them is not made to give false hope. It is saying that if you have not recieved help, it is because you are not worthy of my help.

Humans put me on a pedistal because of the need that they have to believe in something, to follow something. Not to cover my evil doings. I have the same emotions as everyone else, emotions didn't spawn from no where when you evolved from microscopic protoplasm. That's right, evolution is real.

People do have conversations with me, and I used to respond. But then when they told others that I talked to them, it only brought around misconceptions that the person was either crazy, or a new messiah which would lead to the worship of a false idol, breaking one of the commandments, and that's always bad. Sorry for not responding when you were in second grade, it's just that everyone talks, and I listen to everything. Eventually. I do give help, it just doesn't always come when you expect it. Think about it. Please, that's why I made you guys.

Hey God, how was your day? Did you catch Leno last night? I didn't like it.

This whole business of religion...is there only one religion allowed into heaven, or are all the humans allowed, provided they are good people?

It was good thank you. Yea, I caught Leno. He's getting a bit whiny to me, but eh.

As long as they are good people, they're allowed up here.

i m god 2 lets sex n make more gods lol

f t w

When will I die?

What is your opinion on Scientology?

And about aids, why must Africa have the aids epidemic? Why not somewhere else like Europe or Asia?

The AIDS epidemic is where it is for a reason. And I fucking hate scientology.

The AIDS epidemic is where it is for a reason.

What is the reason for the AIDS epidemic?

For people to try and realize that I'm not a kind and loving god all the time.

For people to try and realize that I'm not a kind and loving god all the time.

If you hate scientology so much, why don't you simply rain hell upon their houses of worship? (What ever the fuck they're called)

And
The AIDS epidemic is where it is for a reason.

If I may ask, what is that reason?

Black people? :o

"Yessiree, can i have that with an extra helping of Racism?"

aahhaha, yeaaah

So God.. what do you think about drugs?

hey god. so whats up with the obesity 'epidemic'? there is surely a reason behind that... or is it just that we're getting lazy and therefore obese.

Also, of all the religions... which one is furthest from the truth?... apart from scientology of course

Kiitos

Mrman

Seriously dude how come I don't have hair?

Seriously dude how come I don't have hair?

because it is a joke, alot like how genitals are. :)

I like black people, lay off the brothers.

Obesity isn't an epidemic, people are just lazy. So am I. I'm fat. That's right. God is fat.

I don't rain houses on their place of worship because I don't intervene with any other religions. As much as I'd like too, I'd probably get fired if I did.

So if this is really, God, and I cant prove that you are or aren't. Or that you're really responsible for everything or just taking credit for it.
Let me just say, you're doing a good job for a man/woman/diety who supposedly has to deal with everything by themselves. Sure there is war, sure there is violence, but it could be a whole lot worse than it is at the moment.

Cheers mate.
Mojo

You never answered my question.. so what's the big man's view on drugs (in general)?

What does the holy ghost do? It seems he has no important role...

Don't worry Voom, I've taken care of the problem. In 7 days time you will be happy.

waiting till the last few min on the 7th day?

Turkey Sandwich what does it feel like to be conscious in the middle of solid matter? Is it a worthwhile experience? I guess it's no different to anywhere else huh? Just different degrees of the same thing.

Sorry about my lack of response. Busy creating another life form.

Drugs are ok. As long as you don't let them fuck things up in your life. It's all about moderation.

The holy ghost is like my personal advisor. And watches your asses while I can't. She's not very good at it though. She's lucky she sucks dick like a mother fucker.

That should be 7 months. My bad.

Well, I've been here for a while, and it's pretty good. Still hate motion sickness though. That's the problem about being God, if you take everyones traits and personalities and combine them into mine, since everyone is like me in some way, then you also take the flaws too.