if u met god and had only one question to ask him, what would it be?

Why America?

I mean Lord, wasn't the Earth troubled enough already?

Ha-schem , didst thou truly think that it would be an improvement?

If he were real, I'd ask him when he was going to say sorry.

I would ask him why im fucking crazy

"wtf?"

You just wasted 80 years of my life.

What the fuck? You can ask God as many questions as you like at any time. You're just too blind to look for an answer.

where did you come from

what did you do before you created humans, and how long did you chill out with your thumb up your ass

why

"Can you make a rock so heavy, even you can't lift it"

"Why?"

"Can I have more than one question?"

God doesnt exist. If he did, id ask him: Whats your life story?

"What the fuck were you thinking?"

"Why?"

He'd probably say,

"For the lulz"

What the fuck? You can ask God as many questions as you like at any time. You're just too blind to look for an answer.

Something like what Rizzo said.

@Beany - I think the point of this thread is what would you ask the orthodox Christian God if you met him in heaven and could have one question, not interpreting things so that in your head it appears as if it was God giving you an answer, nor some mystical claptrap about all being one so when you ask a question to yourself you're asking God and when you find an answer, it was given by God, which in itself involves nothing but renaming "universe" "God".

God doesnt exist. If he did, id ask him: Whats your life story?

This is probaly the closest to what I'd ask.

I'd ask God to tell me everything.

@Beany - I think the point of this thread is what would you ask the orthodox Christian God if you met him in heaven and could have one question, not interpreting things so that in your head it appears as if it was God giving you an answer, nor some mystical claptrap about all being one so when you ask a question to yourself you're asking God and when you find an answer, it was given by God, which in itself involves nothing but renaming "universe" "God".

Well I was gonna say "Do you ever get food stuck in your beard?", but I wouldn't wanna dumb myself down for anyone elses sake.

What the fuck? You can ask God as many questions as you like at any time. You're just too blind to look for an answer.

hahahahah. i dont even feel sorry for religious people anymore. your a waste of flesh faggit.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie pop?

Who do you meet when you trip?

"Do you think more people would believe your story if Christians weren't the ones selling it?"

"Can I read an original copy of the bible - you know, before the church got to it?"

"Whats the deal with born-agains?"

OR

"Which religion was the right one to follow? Cause I didn't follow one, and damned if I ain't talking to you right now! Shit - take that Christians!"

"Sup?"

Then I'd realise what i've done, and blasphemy.

What the fuck? You can ask God as many questions as you like at any time. You're just too blind to look for an answer.

QFT, except the first sentence.

"Why is Rizzo a fag?"

sort your formatting out.

I would have nothing to say to him.

Who the fuck are you to judge me?

'Was this all your idea of a joke? Becase that's often the impression that I get.'

Is the devil really that bad? I mean, he's supposed to be (or I guess by your definitions, IS) pure evil, but what I've read in books and seen in movies shows he's not all that bad. So tell me, Is our red sock wearing comrade that horrible?

You are the Devil.

Are you really that bad?

Are you really that bad?

Sometimes so, though I am occasionally valiant. Would that prove me not the devil? Or would that prove the devil is as human as you or I?

I hold no grudges against God or devil. I can laugh and make idle chatter with either should they choose to personify themselves.

But by embracing the Devil you cannot be God, because your happiness will not be eternal, because you will be restricting the happiness of someone else and therefore punishing yourself.

But by embracing the Devil you cannot be God, because your happiness will not be eternal, because you will be restricting the happiness of someone else and therefore punishing yourself.

But what if I hold neither in a higher position? I keep them as being either good or evil to my neutral.

I'm not harming myself except for when I might follow good that would damage myself to help someone else. Say a boy that could possibly drown in the river. I jump to save him but may die trying. I may ruin my potential but may save his potential which may be lesser,equal, or greater than mine?

If you can't find a higher power you can't find yourself.

If you can't find a higher power you can't find yourself.

What does luck count as? I figure there is an enormous 'x' element to everything and luck is my higher power. I occasionally give luck offerings of cigarettes and surprisingly enought it comes through.

Sharing cigarettes is a good thing. It's sharing.

Starting small like that is the way to start.

You are making the world a better place.

"Butt secks?"

But what if there was a feeling infinitely more powerful than any kind of release you can currently feel? Wouldn't you rather strive for that?

Nice edit.

If I'm speaking to God because I have died, then I wouldn't care enough about anything to ask a question. Otherwise, I'd ask if there really is a Hell and exactly how far can I push it?

What if he told you hell is where you are now?

What if he told you hell is where you are now?


I'd say, "Nyeeah... hell isn't that bad. If I'm already in hell, I might as well start doing all the stuff I shouldn't be doing."

Ahahaha.

You're wrong.

id ask him to tell me all his secrets and the truth about everything.

id ask him where my wallet is

I've always wanted to know if we can do all the things we're not supposed to do on earth up in heaven.
I can't imagine spending an eternity there and not getting a little action from time to time.
Then again, from what I can tell the bible is pretty vague about what heaven actually is like so who knows.

I wouldnt need to ask as he presumably would already know what was going to be asked.

I'll play along.


Out of the major organized religions, which one most closely adheres to your principles?

ME: "Can you eat your own face?"
GOD: "uhhhhhh, nooo"
ME: "Haha, imposter, i thought God can do anything!"
GOD: "naaah, im just fukcing with all you little earth peoples lulz"
ME: Kills God by repeatedly stomping on his head.
ME: "IM THE NEW GOD MUTHAFUCKERS!"
ME: "Hmmmm, eternity aye.....sooooo what now?"

What the fuck? You can ask God as many questions as you like at any time. You're just too blind to look for an answer.

Agreed.

And most folks are too self-absorbed, superstitious, or fearful to pay attention to the answers that come.

1. Dont you ever get bored?
2. What do you do for fun?
3. Actually, now that i think about it....what the fuck do you do at all? Seriously, you make all this shit in 7 days and do fuck all for millions of years?! Fuck you.
4. Do you sleep? Are you sleeping now? Are you gonna awake one day and pwn all the jews?