jackketch
2007-05-12, 01:05
Lets stop arse raping Revelations.
Its probably fair to say that no other book of the bible has been abused, mistreated and generally arse-raped more than the poor old Revelation Of St John. For centuries its been the playground for every whack job going.
You wanta *prove* that Jesus was, infact, a homosexual Elvis impersonator from the planet Transexual Transylvania? That the world will end when the last cheese sandwich is eaten by a one legged Cossack and a strangely Canadian prophet will travel towards Bethlehem in a VW Beetle? Then the book of Revelations is the book for you.
A quick read through the various evangelical literature will tell you that the 'Beast' was a 'code name' for The Soviet Union, The European Union, America etc etc etc.
And lets not forget that it FORTELLS THE FUTURE!
Thats right folks, THE LORD GOD in his almighty wisdom saw fit to give us a copy of his blue print for this Earth. Only he done writ it in code so as only the righteous might have understanding.
But fear not for Reverend John-Joe-Billy-Bob "the South Shall Rise Agin I say" Jones , of the "Four Square Television Church Of GOD the Fairly Awesome", has studied the scripture for years and now you too can KNOW GOD's PLAN. Yes thats right, hear it from the LORD himself. Find out what fantastic future awaits us in his kingdom. What will really happen to all the sodomites and democrats.
And thats not all. Order today and you'll get the "7 Vials Of Wrath" completely free!!! Yes Folks, I said "completely FREE"!
OK so I'm taking the piss a bit... but only abit.
Even here where we have posters who actually know something about the bible there is a hankering for using the "this is what happens when you buy cheap acid" imagery to *prove* a certain point.
So while I wait for yet another CCNA study guide to download i thought I take time out from the erotic pleasures of subnet masking and binary math and do a thread which will try and show how to read, understand and treat the bloody book with some respect (or rather one small section of the book, cos again I *do* have a life...).
As usual I'm resisting the temptation to make this a 'scholarly' discourse. Life is too short to argue about the correct declension of the fouth tense in the third person singular of a chosen koine verb and a blow by blow comparison of the various codecs. You want 'indepth' and sources then its all out there. What i'm trying to get across is the 'mindset', the 'tude of a historical-critcal scholar ...in a CNN format.
First off you need to know a couple of things.
1. The Revelations is FUCKED UP. Thats a scholarly way of saying the the 'originals' are a mess. Truth be told no one really can say what the original text was or which bit goes where. So any 'interpretation' is always open to question.
2. IT WAS WRITTEN BY WHACK JOBS FOR WHACK JOBS. Or if you prefer 'fanatics'. Think David Koresh and you won't go far wrong.
3.It was written by and for people who spent the whole day reading the OT prophecies and trying to bend them to fit the Jesus myth. Or as Acts quaintly puts it:
Acts 17:11
Now the Bereans were of more noble character than the Thessalonians, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true..
This point is the key to understanding the whole thing.
4.It wasn't actually written in code but it might as well have been so I'll keep on saying code. Certainly it was written in a way that no roman censor or 'gestapo' might understand it.
5.It is in no way unique, there's a whole trailer load of similar works and to really understand the Revelation then you need to get down and dirty with the whole caboodle. Starting with the OT jewish eschatology and finishing with the Revelation of St.Peter.
So lets have a look at one of the more famous verses:
Rev.: Chapter 17
3So he carried me away in the spirit into the wilderness: and I saw a woman sit upon a scarlet coloured beast, full of names of blasphemy, having seven heads and ten horns.
4And the woman was arrayed in purple and scarlet colour, and decked with gold and precious stones and pearls, having a golden cup in her hand full of abominations and filthiness of her fornication:
5And upon her forehead was a name written, MYSTERY, BABYLON THE GREAT, THE MOTHER OF HARLOTS AND ABOMINATIONS OF THE EARTH.
6And I saw the woman drunken with the blood of the saints, and with the blood of the martyrs of Jesus: and when I saw her, I wondered with great admiration.
The first thing we should note is the phrase "away in spirit into the wilderness". This tells us that what is to follow is written in prophetical language. Whether God really granted this guy a vision or he had just had too many of those weird little blue mushrooms, isn't really the issue here.
So what what does it mean , huh?
Well instead of arse raping it and trying to make it fit some dodgy dogma or last nights news bulletin, lets try and understand it the way the author would have meant his readers to understand it.
Pretty radical idea I know but that's the kind of guy i am...
Any 1st century christian reading that passage would automatically think of Ezekial chapter 23. Give a quick read and you'll see why.
Then he'd start to work it out.
"Whore" has a very precise meaning in prophetical language. It means(put simply) jews who forget god and go worship some idol. Its an image that appears time and time again in the bible. God says Israel is his wife and sometimes she goes off to fuck around, be a slut. He then beats the crap out her and brings her back. Hmmmm old style marriage FTW!
Babylon has sort of two meanings in the OT prophecies. Its the place the true believers are held captive and the place where all wickedness springs from/resides. Have a read of Zechariah 5
So we've got an 'unfaithful' Israel in general or 'adulterous' jews in particular who are either 'sleeping with' babylon or led by 'her'.
The "purple and scarlet colour, and decked with gold and precious stones and pearls" tells us who these jews were. You see those are the apparel for high priests and the temple drapery as well. Have a read through Exodus sometime if you don't believe me , chapters 28 to 35 'ish (off the top of my head).
Yep the 'mystery' around the Whore of Baylon is dead easy to understand. Its the jewish high Priests, the temple mafia. Obviously this piece was written back when the High Priests were actively persecuting the early christians (think of Saul/Paul) and of course the whole 'blood of the saints' bit now makes perfect sense.
Sorted.
No supernatural stuff a la Buffy, no dire warnings that Congress is infact the Whore of Babylon leading us all into damnation.
Anyway, its late.
If anyone wants to know more and have a particular passage of the revelations 'ketched' then post it and if I get time...
Its probably fair to say that no other book of the bible has been abused, mistreated and generally arse-raped more than the poor old Revelation Of St John. For centuries its been the playground for every whack job going.
You wanta *prove* that Jesus was, infact, a homosexual Elvis impersonator from the planet Transexual Transylvania? That the world will end when the last cheese sandwich is eaten by a one legged Cossack and a strangely Canadian prophet will travel towards Bethlehem in a VW Beetle? Then the book of Revelations is the book for you.
A quick read through the various evangelical literature will tell you that the 'Beast' was a 'code name' for The Soviet Union, The European Union, America etc etc etc.
And lets not forget that it FORTELLS THE FUTURE!
Thats right folks, THE LORD GOD in his almighty wisdom saw fit to give us a copy of his blue print for this Earth. Only he done writ it in code so as only the righteous might have understanding.
But fear not for Reverend John-Joe-Billy-Bob "the South Shall Rise Agin I say" Jones , of the "Four Square Television Church Of GOD the Fairly Awesome", has studied the scripture for years and now you too can KNOW GOD's PLAN. Yes thats right, hear it from the LORD himself. Find out what fantastic future awaits us in his kingdom. What will really happen to all the sodomites and democrats.
And thats not all. Order today and you'll get the "7 Vials Of Wrath" completely free!!! Yes Folks, I said "completely FREE"!
OK so I'm taking the piss a bit... but only abit.
Even here where we have posters who actually know something about the bible there is a hankering for using the "this is what happens when you buy cheap acid" imagery to *prove* a certain point.
So while I wait for yet another CCNA study guide to download i thought I take time out from the erotic pleasures of subnet masking and binary math and do a thread which will try and show how to read, understand and treat the bloody book with some respect (or rather one small section of the book, cos again I *do* have a life...).
As usual I'm resisting the temptation to make this a 'scholarly' discourse. Life is too short to argue about the correct declension of the fouth tense in the third person singular of a chosen koine verb and a blow by blow comparison of the various codecs. You want 'indepth' and sources then its all out there. What i'm trying to get across is the 'mindset', the 'tude of a historical-critcal scholar ...in a CNN format.
First off you need to know a couple of things.
1. The Revelations is FUCKED UP. Thats a scholarly way of saying the the 'originals' are a mess. Truth be told no one really can say what the original text was or which bit goes where. So any 'interpretation' is always open to question.
2. IT WAS WRITTEN BY WHACK JOBS FOR WHACK JOBS. Or if you prefer 'fanatics'. Think David Koresh and you won't go far wrong.
3.It was written by and for people who spent the whole day reading the OT prophecies and trying to bend them to fit the Jesus myth. Or as Acts quaintly puts it:
Acts 17:11
Now the Bereans were of more noble character than the Thessalonians, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true..
This point is the key to understanding the whole thing.
4.It wasn't actually written in code but it might as well have been so I'll keep on saying code. Certainly it was written in a way that no roman censor or 'gestapo' might understand it.
5.It is in no way unique, there's a whole trailer load of similar works and to really understand the Revelation then you need to get down and dirty with the whole caboodle. Starting with the OT jewish eschatology and finishing with the Revelation of St.Peter.
So lets have a look at one of the more famous verses:
Rev.: Chapter 17
3So he carried me away in the spirit into the wilderness: and I saw a woman sit upon a scarlet coloured beast, full of names of blasphemy, having seven heads and ten horns.
4And the woman was arrayed in purple and scarlet colour, and decked with gold and precious stones and pearls, having a golden cup in her hand full of abominations and filthiness of her fornication:
5And upon her forehead was a name written, MYSTERY, BABYLON THE GREAT, THE MOTHER OF HARLOTS AND ABOMINATIONS OF THE EARTH.
6And I saw the woman drunken with the blood of the saints, and with the blood of the martyrs of Jesus: and when I saw her, I wondered with great admiration.
The first thing we should note is the phrase "away in spirit into the wilderness". This tells us that what is to follow is written in prophetical language. Whether God really granted this guy a vision or he had just had too many of those weird little blue mushrooms, isn't really the issue here.
So what what does it mean , huh?
Well instead of arse raping it and trying to make it fit some dodgy dogma or last nights news bulletin, lets try and understand it the way the author would have meant his readers to understand it.
Pretty radical idea I know but that's the kind of guy i am...
Any 1st century christian reading that passage would automatically think of Ezekial chapter 23. Give a quick read and you'll see why.
Then he'd start to work it out.
"Whore" has a very precise meaning in prophetical language. It means(put simply) jews who forget god and go worship some idol. Its an image that appears time and time again in the bible. God says Israel is his wife and sometimes she goes off to fuck around, be a slut. He then beats the crap out her and brings her back. Hmmmm old style marriage FTW!
Babylon has sort of two meanings in the OT prophecies. Its the place the true believers are held captive and the place where all wickedness springs from/resides. Have a read of Zechariah 5
So we've got an 'unfaithful' Israel in general or 'adulterous' jews in particular who are either 'sleeping with' babylon or led by 'her'.
The "purple and scarlet colour, and decked with gold and precious stones and pearls" tells us who these jews were. You see those are the apparel for high priests and the temple drapery as well. Have a read through Exodus sometime if you don't believe me , chapters 28 to 35 'ish (off the top of my head).
Yep the 'mystery' around the Whore of Baylon is dead easy to understand. Its the jewish high Priests, the temple mafia. Obviously this piece was written back when the High Priests were actively persecuting the early christians (think of Saul/Paul) and of course the whole 'blood of the saints' bit now makes perfect sense.
Sorted.
No supernatural stuff a la Buffy, no dire warnings that Congress is infact the Whore of Babylon leading us all into damnation.
Anyway, its late.
If anyone wants to know more and have a particular passage of the revelations 'ketched' then post it and if I get time...