So, my brother thinks he's atheist, I have no problem with that.
The problem is he is making this big deal, of being confirmed, and well, I was there once. Sure, I don't like the idea, but I did it when I was his age. He is scared of telling our mother that he is Atheist. But he thinks that is his only answer, and I don't have a solution for him.

I wish I could tell him that I've found some sort of belief system, and it doesn't have a definition, But aligning with one faith isn't the solution, and he can't believe in one thing, because when the thing fails him, he will be fucked up and his world might collapse. It's happened to me, and I don't want that to happen to him.

Any advice or guidance is greatly appreciated

If he doesn't believe in god then he's an atheist. There's nothing wrong with that...you dont need a super natural belief system to be happy.

As for the confirmation, he could get confirmed just for the money and to make his mom happy or he can be open about his beliefs and not do it. My advice would be to help him weigh the options and make his own decision.

Have him look at the pros and cons of both options and pick the one that leads to less frustration and unhappiness. If your mom's going to go psycho about him being an atheist maybe the best thing for him to do would be to go ahead and confirm and then when he moves out (goes to college etc.) he can tell her. Honestly I haven't even "come out" so to say to my parents about being an atheist but that's just because I'd rather not deal with the passive aggressive bullshit they would throw at me.

What the fuck is this confirmation thing you're all talking about???

Confirmation is a rite of sacrament usually reserved for children after baptism, when they've reached an age where they can understand the implied importance of baptism.

It's like a reaffirmation of their faith.

Ohhh... so the atheist brother doesn't want to be confirmed as it goes against his beliefs, but he also doesn't want to upset his parents by refusing confirmation..

Is that the issue here??

Is that the issue here??

S'what the first post seems to suggest.

Hmm, that is kind of a dilemma I guess.

I can't really relate as my family just kinda phased out of religion as I grew up. I mean, I was baptized, and went to church every Sunday for several years when I was younger. My mom was even a Sunday school teacher.

But luckily, we just kinda grew out of it. So I never had to deal with things like this confirmation or having to 'come out' as an atheist to my parents.

Just tell him to get confirmed.

He gets the money, and he now has connections with a religion. Even though everyone here hates religion, you can use it (connections) as a tool.

...money...????

Just tell him to get confirmed.

He gets the money, and he now has connections with a religion. Even though everyone here hates religion, you can use it (connections) as a tool.

Unless he wants to be a priest that is some shitty connections.

Honestly, do it. Being an atheist makes the whole ritual meaningless to him, and you get money.

And nothing feels better than when crazy people give you money.

Woah woah woah, somebody please explain to me why you get MONEY to be religious? I thought you're supposed to give money to your religion, if anything.

How much money is involved? And how do I sign up?

Its kinda like Jews and a ba/r mitzvah. Its sort of a big deal, and your family comes and shit. I did it, and I made out alright.

How much money is involved? And how do I sign up?

Traditionally, when someone is confirmed in the Catholic faith in the Western world, they will have a party and/or receive money from relatives and friends.

I got something like $500 when I got confirmed.

I spent all my confirmation money on drugs :/

Unless he wants to be a priest that is some shitty connections.

You will find in every small town there is a church where the elite meet once a week on Sunday. Land owners and realtors, business men and business owners usually go to church. If you want to be a cop or a fireman, find the church the commander's attend.

And nothing feels better than when crazy people give you money.

Unless your shitty grandparents give you a savings bond. :/

I did it years ago as an athiest. It was okay. Tell him to man up and do it for the fam. I did it for my Grandma, God bless her poor Irish soul. She would have had a fit if I didn't.

I don't know about all this money thing though. Sure we had a party, but I didn't come out like a Jew. Maybe $100 bucks tops. Maybe the Irish-Catholics do it different.

He could go ahead and get confirmed and then after he collects all his money make an announcement to everyone saying he's an atheist. It would make for an interesting celebration especially if there's someone in the background filming it.

So, my brother thinks he's atheist, I have no problem with that.
The problem is he is making this big deal, of being confirmed, and well, I was there once. Sure, I don't like the idea, but I did it when I was his age. He is scared of telling our mother that he is Atheist. But he thinks that is his only answer, and I don't have a solution for him.

I wish I could tell him that I've found some sort of belief system, and it doesn't have a definition, But aligning with one faith isn't the solution, and he can't believe in one thing, because when the thing fails him, he will be fucked up and his world might collapse. It's happened to me, and I don't want that to happen to him.

Any advice or guidance is greatly appreciated

This may sound off topic, but it isn't. I believe you can find your answer in what I'm saying. I read your post, and I had a few thoughts fly by while reading through it.
The thing that stuck out was you said that your brother can't believe in one thing, because when it fails him his world might collapse.

First thought that came to me was, "That's why marriages don't last long anymore."

I was talking to a friend on the phone last night, I asked him, "What makes you cry?" He said, "Shelly, what makes you cry?" I said, "Leon, I cry when things don't go the way I expected them to go or planned for them to be." Then I said, "But you haven't answered my question, what makes you cry?" He said, "I did. The same thing that makes you cry."

We expect too much from people. If we would expect things of ourselves, and (What I do) is place my expectations on God, because He promises to not change His mind. We'd be better off. I learned, even before having believed in God again, that expectations only set us up for a heartbreak. Ah, come on. It didn't keep me from expecting people to do what's 'right'. The point is, I expected something from them that they were unable to give me. Each time, I was hurt. Over, and over again.

You can't believe in something and give up and call it a belief. In our christian circles we hear, "I TRIED believeing God but it didn't work." You know, God isn't a free sample at wal-mart, and I'm not coming at you guys with this, I'm talking about the 'church people' now. Church people can really just make you mad if you let them. What they really just did was call God a liar. They're too holy to flat out say that their bibles lied to them. ABOMINATION! They would sentence themselves to hell fire! (Sorry I better stop. That is jokingly said though.)

More familiar ground. Someone's overweight and wants to drop weight. They pick up a diet, and start into it, then stop. Why? Because they didn't get the results they wanted, they just say the diet didn't work. Well, there could be a few problems within that PERSON. 1. They didn't have enough determination to NOT give up on the diet but see it through regardless of the discipline it demands. 2. They weren't faithful to the diet plan and didn't give the diet plan enough time to do what it says it will do. 3. It doesn't happen at their pace or on their time so they say, "It doesn't work." 4. They didn't exercise.

Usually if it's one of those it's going to be all of them. This is the mircowave generation. We wants things FAST and NOW on OUR time. Where's the developement of patience in that? It isn't that the diet didn't work. Several people had went on it before and they were successful. It's the fact that this person didn't have enough root in themselves to say, I DON'T CARE HOW LONG IT TAKES OR WHAT IT COSTS I'M GOING TO GET THE RESULTS THIS THING SAYS I SHOULD HAVE." And that's how you have to take and hold anything that you pick up and run with.