20080620 I ship for recruit training at MCRD Parris Island, I was just wondering if anyone wanted to share any humorous or otherwise stories about their experiences in basic, I'll be sure to update when I get back in...December?

Everyone has stories from basic.

I had a kid in my flight who was just...really fat. Couldn't do a push up to save his life. God knows why his recruiter even let him in, probably for hope or to fill a quota. Damn recruiters...
Anyway, this kid starts bad mouthing the TI on the second day. TI goes apeshit and has him on his face doing push ups, but again, the kid can't do them. He struggles on and on, the TI even has him flip to his back so he could do flutter kicks, but he still can't do them. It was about 10 minutes into this torment to the kid that the TI said something I will never forget if I live to be a hundred...

"I'M GOING TO SHIT IN AN ENVELOPE AND SEND IT TO YOUR RECRUITER BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT HE SENT ME!"

Kid got sent to a fit flight and was never heard from again.

Wow, a shiny new forum.

Best personal story I have from basic...

At naval RTC ("recruit training command"), recruits have to take three written tests based on the history about the navy, basic ship handling, deck work, etc.

Our RDCs ("recruit division commanders") talk with other RDCs from other recruit divisions every so often. One of the ones from another division came in to our berthing and started yelling. "HOW DO YOU THINK YOU CLOWNS DID ON YOUR TEST?!" All the scared recruits all basically said the same thing. "We did good, petty officer!"

I posed the same question in a less forceful manner.

Me: "How did your division do, petty officer?"
Him: "We did the best."
Me: "... I did better than your whole division."
Him: "Is that so? Okay. You can come tell that to our chief."

The chief he was talking about was an MA (master-at-arms, also known as MP in the army) and had absolutely no sense of humor. I'm fairly certain he ate children for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Recruits are *required* to greet any RDCs and petty officers who work at RTC whenever they meet them. "Good morning, petty officer!" "Good afternoon, chief!" This chief's only response to every greeting was to yell "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

So I was escorted down to this division's berthing where I was sure I was going to do 8-count body builders until I vomitted. The RDC brings me inside and gets the chief. He says to him in a very loud as to let the whole division know "Chief, this recruit said that he did better on his test than anyone here. He also said he hates chiefs."

The chief orders me to attention and proceeds to have a 1-inch conversation.

Chief: "What's your name?"
Me: "Chief, my name is Seaman Recruit Smi--"
Chief: "SHUT THE FUCK UP! You're not a seaman recruit; you're a piece of shit."
[a couple seconds pass]
Chief: "As I was saying, what's your name?"
Me: "Chief, my name is Piece Of Shit Smith."
Chief: "Are you some sort of smartass?"
Me: "No chief! I'm a piece of shit!"

The RDC snickers and the chief turns away from me to try and hide his laughter. It's still a bit too obvious. "Get the fuck out of my berthing," he says to me.

I don't have too many funny stories, from my stay at Lackland AFB, TX, since I was one of the under-the-radar types, that the TI's never really messed with. One of the most memorable ones was during CATM (Combat Arms Training Marksmanship) in Warrior Week. My gun jammed, and I wasn't able to fire off all my rounds before the cease fire buzzer. I raised my hand and told the dude that I had one round in the chamber. He told me to shoot it off. So I was thinking "I wonder what happens, in real life, when you shoot the ground??" I aimed at the dirt in front of the target and fired. Chunks of dirt flew 6' into the air; it was pretty cool. The instructor dude then said "NO dummy! At the target!" He was pretty cool, and he was kinda laughing when that happened.

I also remember we had two motherfuckers from the Air Force Academy shadowing our instructor. One of them always sprayed every time he talked, and was a real dumb ass. He got kicked out of our flight after someone complained he sprayed in their food, during chow.

There was also this really crazy, short, bald instructor, who would run around the dinning facility, yelling the Spongebob Square pants song. He also jumped through a couple tables, chasing after a trainee.

Some of the funniest things I've witnessed, all happened with this one dude in my flight named Compise. It seemed I was always pulling dorm guard shifts with this dude. We were also about the same height, so we were almost always next to each other when marching. For some reason, the TI's liked messing with him:
One time when we were marching, I guess he was out of step or something, and the honor guard TI ran in between the ranks, while we were still marching, just to yell at him. He was like "Hey you comPISS, comPOST, compisy, fucking Nacadacious!!........ Get the fuck out the flight!" I was trying so hard not to laugh.

Then there was this time me and Compise were dorm guard for two baby flights. These flights were also brother flights, and we were assigned to each of them. The instructor for the flight Compise was with, was this crazy black lady (she was actually really nice, and was also the same TI who picked us up from the air port). The flight didn't have the access list up, so when the other instructor wanted entry, Compise was kind of confused. I guess that flights instructor told him to open the door, and he didn't, so she ran up to him, kicked the door open, ripped the dorm guard clipboard out of his hands and threw it, then proceeded to chew him out. All the while I'm watching all of this from the safety of the dorm across the way. The look on Compise's face was classic. Eventually, the TI told him to go back to our flight and have our dorm guard monitor send her someone else.

No funny story, but remember that basic is meant to load you up with all the stress that war can give you, without actually going to war. They want to acclimatize you to it and teach you how to stay useful throughout the hell-shit.

My favourite army story was when I got hit by a roadside bomb and had to have both legs amputated and I did my rehabilitation in a shitty run-down hospital. That was pretty funny.

20080620 I ship for recruit training at MCRD Parris Island, I was just wondering if anyone wanted to share any humorous or otherwise stories about their experiences in basic, I'll be sure to update when I get back in...December?

Do EVERYTHING with SPEED & INTENSITY!!!! Can not be stressed enough. No matter what you are doing, you need to do it with speed and intensity. Never look your D.I. in the eye. EVER. ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS keep your footlocker locked if you're not actively using it. If you don't, you'll come back with your shit EVERYWHERE, and you're getting ITed like the piece of shit they think you are. When a D.I. is teaching you drill, no matter what D.I. it is, pay close attention. Recruits who can't drill are usually retrained on the quarter deck with a variety of exercises.

During series runs, don't ever fall out. I don't care if you're a fat ass who is about to die because they really can't breathe. If you fall out, you better have been passed out, or have a really good excuse. Anything short of dieing is going to make your D.I.'s work you twice as hard as any other recruit.

For the first 3-4 weeks (not including the first week of processing), don't bother going for your platoon's guide or squad leader. Just watch how fast these recruits are hired and fired into these positions. It's crazy haha. If you're decent with computers, and have good hand writing, go for being the platoon scribe. Chances are you will always be on the first firewatch (2100-2200hrs). You get some special privileges, but not much.

Most of all though, just remember it's all a mental game. Anyone can pass the USMC IST/PFT. If you can't, then you suck. The physical aspect of recruit training I didn't find very challenging at all, other than constantly moving. I'm not sure about PI, but MCRD SD is literally right next door to San Diego International Airport. That was the biggest mindfuck of Recruit Training, none the less, probably my whole life. Every freedom you have ever had has been stripped away, yet, freedom is right across that chainlink fence. Ironic. Oh, and one more thing..everything you do the first couple of weeks is going to be counted down. You'll know what I mean when you get into your actual training company and platoon. In the morning when your making your racks, and your D.I. is counting down from 300, you don't have 300 seconds. You have 300 D.I. seconds. 300 D.I. Seconds = 30-60 seconds.

EDIT: After Black Friday once you meet your drill instructors and are in your actual training platoon, if you have extras of ANYTHING, keep it. Don't tell your D.I. Chances are, not only do you have someone elses stuff, but chances are in the process or somewhere down the line you're going to lose some of your shit, so just use your extras to give to someone that needs it, who in turn, has extras of something you may need.

Make your you're ironing is upto scratch, get used to doing things extra quick mainly changing out of one rig into another, get used to being tired and falling asleep in lectures, don't expect any of your training team to take a liking to you its their job to train you to the standard to pass out of training, you're there to prove you have what it takes, think of it as a game, beat the game and you're in. Oh and remember don't take anything personally that the training team say, they will always be trying to break you.

On exercise in the field expect to get fucking hammered with phys and treated alot worse than you would asif you was on camp. Expect hour long 'beastings'/'thrashings', being wet cold and hungry all day, not wanting to be there when the going gets hard, it all plays on your mind but just think of the end goal.

Make sure you do everything that the training team tell you, don't do something a different way than they are showing you, end of the day they have the experience and you don't so who do you think knows best?

Write down notes of what you get taught and go over them on a night, especially about the weapon systems you will be using, get questions wrong if ask and expect to get hammered with some phys.

End of the day anyone can pass training, but only the people that WANT it will succeed.

And remember, the training team are being fucking horrible cunts with you for a reason, to make you stronger mentally, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

good luck.

the info i've given is going off UK military experience, not US, so things might be a little different on that side of the pond.

No funny story, but remember that basic is meant to load you up with all the stress that war can give you, without actually going to war. They want to acclimatize you to it and teach you how to stay useful throughout the hell-shit.

So if I face down the enemy I can iron him to death?

I saw a heavy-set TI put a kid on his face and give him a hard time because he wasn't going fast enough - for her liking.

"You are the slowest piece of shit EVER!! NO MOTIVATION!! WHY THE FUCK are you even attempting to get into MY Air Force?! You can't even do simple push-ups!!"


I remember this well.

"Ma'am, Trainee I'madumbass reports as ordered! I'd like to see YOU try to do this!"


Before this is over, this kid had to push until the last 15 minutes of lunch, and after 3 flights had gone ahead of him.

Man, I loved being a holdover.

Make your you're ironing is upto scratch, get used to doing things extra quick mainly changing out of one rig into another, get used to being tired and falling asleep in lectures, don't expect any of your training team to take a liking to you its their job to train you to the standard to pass out of training, you're there to prove you have what it takes, think of it as a game, beat the game and you're in. Oh and remember don't take anything personally that the training team say, they will always be trying to break you.

On exercise in the field expect to get fucking hammered with phys and treated alot worse than you would asif you was on camp. Expect hour long 'beastings'/'thrashings', being wet cold and hungry all day, not wanting to be there when the going gets hard, it all plays on your mind but just think of the end goal.

Make sure you do everything that the training team tell you, don't do something a different way than they are showing you, end of the day they have the experience and you don't so who do you think knows best?

Write down notes of what you get taught and go over them on a night, especially about the weapon systems you will be using, get questions wrong if ask and expect to get hammered with some phys.

End of the day anyone can pass training, but only the people that WANT it will succeed.

And remember, the training team are being fucking horrible cunts with you for a reason, to make you stronger mentally, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

good luck.

the info i've given is going off UK military experience, not US, so things might be a little different on that side of the pond.

It's crazy how similar your UK military experience is to the Marine Corps training at San Diego. When your training company moves up north to Camp Pendleton for Edson Range, I heard it's pretty much the worst part of training. Most people lose all their weight in bootcamp up at Pendleton. When I was in training, the Crucible was during 2nd phase (Weeks 4-8) while at Pendleton, but I think they changed it to the last week or two at MCRD..can anyone verify this?

Couple good stories from my lil stinch at basic.

I had recently moved racks cause my RDC wanted to keep a closer eye on me. So he goes over to my old rack, notices it was jacked up and calls me over.

RDC: Silver! What which way does the tshirt go?!
Me: [sounds off regulation]
RDC: So why is it jacked up!?
Me sounding off: I don't know Chief, this is not my rack!
RDC: Dismissed. [calls out the other recruit]

Couple weeks later. We were now down to around 50 people, and were an element more than a division most of the time. And so we all finished our ironing business early into the night. Well this one Officer of the Deck (OOD) for some reason that night wanted everyone ironing all night long.

Well I had gotten to the iron early, my shit was squared away. And earlier, we were told we could iron anything. So the Watch tells me to wake up and iron something. I look at the guy and said "All my shits ironed" Then he goes on to tell me the OOD wanted everyone ironing.

So I roll out of my rack, go over to the iron. I take off one sock, ironed it. Put it back on, and did the same with the other, then went back to bed.

Apparently other shipmates were woken up 2 - 4 times that night to iron anything, but after that they didn't fuck with me.

Basic's going to suck but you'll have some hillarious moments.

Couple weeks later. We were now down to around 50 people, and were an element more than a division most of the time. And so we all finished our ironing business early into the night. Well this one Officer of the Deck (OOD) for some reason that night wanted everyone ironing all night long.

Holy fuck, I almost forgot.

While I was still in Core(TM) at "A" school, my quad-mates and I woke up one of the new guys at 2 AM and told him it was his turn to iron.

Thirty minutes later: "I'm done with the iron, guys."

Holy fuck, I almost forgot.

While I was still in Core(TM) at "A" school, my quad-mates and I woke up one of the new guys at 2 AM and told him it was his turn to iron.

Thirty minutes later: "I'm done with the iron, guys."

Dont forget late night compartment watches. lol

Dont forget late night compartment watches. lol

I purposely didn't do ANY of those. I was restricted liberty all the way through schooling. Nobody asked for my liberty card so it didn't even matter.

Good to have you back, by the way. Get ahold of me, fucker. I can't find you on NKO or anything.

I purposely didn't do ANY of those. I was restricted liberty all the way through schooling. Nobody asked for my liberty card so it didn't even matter.

Good to have you back, by the way. Get ahold of me, fucker. I can't find you on NKO or anything.

I don't even bother with NKO man. Especially with INMARSAT. This shits ridiculous. I'll be around some more though. Next time you're on IRC look for me.

This is only hearsay to me as I haven't left for RTC yet, but I have a friend, former Air Force, who says it's just as bad to do what they don't tell you to do as it is to not do what they tell you to do or do what they tell you not to do.

His case in point: "Stop this truck, Airman."
The Airman stops the truck and turns the engine off.
Oil flow stops and there's still a turbocharger running at 10,000+ RPM.
A very expensive and frightening explosion occurs.

And other such things.

Again, this is only vague hearsay, so don't expect me to explain how it would actually explode; I have no idea.

The point is, don't think you know what to do next. Don't assume.

This is only hearsay to me as I haven't left for RTC yet, but I have a friend, former Air Force, who says it's just as bad to do what they don't tell you to do as it is to not do what they tell you to do or do what they tell you not to do.

His case in point: "Stop this truck, Airman."
The Airman stops the truck and turns the engine off.
Oil flow stops and there's still a turbocharger running at 10,000+ RPM.
A very expensive and frightening explosion occurs.

And other such things.

Again, this is only vague hearsay, so don't expect me to explain how it would actually explode; I have no idea.

The point is, don't think you know what to do next. Don't assume.

No, that all sounds about right. During basic training, don't do what you're not told to do, pretty much.

You'll hate basic, but you'll like it afterwards. It's because you see how much more disciplined you are and how much of a better overall person you are.

As for me, I liked basic (AF). I got laid by some girl in my sister flt during town pass. I rented a motel on base with 2 other guys. They also brought 2 girls from our sister flt. I got the bed and the others got the chair and bathroom.

My TI found out about it and asked me during amesty hour. He was cool with it, he said I better have used a condom. lol.

I was also the first issue of the new ABU's, 20071002
Best 6 1/2 weeks of my life..

320 TRS
FLT 025

This is only hearsay to me as I haven't left for RTC yet, but I have a friend, former Air Force, who says it's just as bad to do what they don't tell you to do as it is to not do what they tell you to do or do what they tell you not to do.

His case in point: "Stop this truck, Airman."
The Airman stops the truck and turns the engine off.
Oil flow stops and there's still a turbocharger running at 10,000+ RPM.
A very expensive and frightening explosion occurs.

And other such things.

Again, this is only vague hearsay, so don't expect me to explain how it would actually explode; I have no idea.

The point is, don't think you know what to do next. Don't assume.

Attention to detail. If you know that stopping the truck (in this instance) is dangerous to yourself, others, or the equipment. Point it out, and if he says I don't care or don't fucking correct me then you go ahead and do it.

At boot camp the BIGGEST thing they will stress is attention to detail. This is why you spend 3-4 hours a day folding clothes ;)

Attention to detail. If you know that stopping the truck (in this instance) is dangerous to yourself, others, or the equipment. Point it out, and if he says I don't care or don't fucking correct me then you go ahead and do it.

At boot camp the BIGGEST thing they will stress is attention to detail. This is why you spend 3-4 hours a day folding clothes ;)

It wasn't stopping the truck that was dangerous, it was stopping the truck and then turning it off, which he wasn't told to do, that was dangerous.