i am 17 living in California. i hate this place. i hate the suburbs. it's real shitty place to be. i have parents who are Christians. when i was young i thought i felt the presence of something in me but now that i look back on that. i feel like i am a complete moron. today i am facing problems with my parents. constantly when i sleep at night, i feel immense pain in my stomach area. i cant breath and i feel like i am going to pass out in my dream. i feel pain in my balls almost every moment in my dream. i dont know what the fuck this means but i dont like to sleep. my dad notices i dont sleep and asks me why. i tell him why do i need to? if i am an insomniac then fine i will become one. but why should i sleep.

of course i knew the obvious answer to this. but he replied with something that i would have never guessed in my life.

"you need sleep to rest your soul. your soul is BOMBARDED with evil it takes in and you need to realease that in your sleep. now please michael, go to bed."

this gets me so angry. i can't sleep for the night. i have to be careful when i am angry, otherwise i tense up for hours without my intention. i hate it.

my dad calls everyone evil. when my dad was arguing with my mom. he would swear like no other and even hit my mom. he went to jail a couple of times because of that. One day he said my mom was "possessed by demons" and kept screaming "get out Satan", "Jesus Christ compels you" like as if it were on tv. i fucking hate my dad.

he calls me evil because i don't obey his rules. "well you know what, i may be a shitty father" my dad yells, "but you are a crappy son! you are supposed to obey your parents like in the ten commandments. you are a sinner and you should go to church and pray for forgiveness." I'm screaming in my head WHAT THE FUCK. i get so pissed off i cant say anything. it is a great weakness in me. i fucking hate it

this is just the little things I've been through, i hate Christianity. i really do. it is turning people into psychos who "feel something" when they feel loved by Him.It turns people into thinking differently like why i should sleep at night. it is only a belief to keep us "sane" and morally submissive to the unknown. fuck that. fuck Christianity.

This place should be very therapeutic. I bet theres plenty of people who can relate to you. Definetly more than half of totse is filled with atheists.

So do you believe in god? Or are you just pissed with the delusional beliefs some people have? It must really suck when your own family members are delusional. You wonder if it's ever possible to actually reason with them.

I wish for the demise of religion. It's useless superstition. I understand that in the past and now it's been apart of cultures heritage, etc. But it's still delusional thinking. It's the 21st century. We need to move on. Society needs to progress a little more than this. It ain't the dark ages for christ's sake.

Christianity is pretty bad, it's so fucked up and corrupt and has brainwashed most of the population of the world. But it's nothing compared to Christians themselves. It's the Christians that fucking disgust me.

i am 17

You can leave in a year. Tough it out until then and look forward to a time where you don't have to put up with your parent's superstitions. Maybe after separating yourself from it, you'll be able to care about them again without so much animosity. Don't force yourself to bend to their lifestyle after that, but try to accept them as they are and just be grateful you're old enough to not have to live in that kind of environment.

WHile I don't wish to break up your family, religion is no excuse for domestic abuse. If you turn 18 and he EVER hits you, you send that sick fucker to jail.

And, yes christianity sucks :D

This place should be very therapeutic. I bet theres plenty of people who can relate to you. Definetly more than half of totse is filled with atheists.

So do you believe in god? Or are you just pissed with the delusional beliefs some people have? It must really suck when your own family members are delusional. You wonder if it's ever possible to actually reason with them.

I wish for the demise of religion. It's useless superstition. I understand that in the past and now it's been apart of cultures heritage, etc. But it's still delusional thinking. It's the 21st century. We need to move on. Society needs to progress a little more than this. It ain't the dark ages for christ's sake.

no i don't believe in god. maybe i would be a Christian if i had a better church and family. But then again, i don't really believe that there is an all knowing god. my church is way beyond mess. the youth area, is where i am, talks about useless shit that i can look up in the bible with lectures like "what's heaven like" or even "should we believe in the bible". there are cliques in that group. everyone dresses like a suburban: Hollister-like clothes, straight hair, a lot of make-up and the fucking same bag they carry on the same shoulder. this brings up how much i hate surburbia again, but its true. all girls look the same at my school. they don't even try to stand out. they all flock into one group, the popular ones. its sickening. Anyways

yes i do believe that gives delusional thinking. that was the word i am trying to come up with. a parallel to your statement:

my dad prays every night to himself. many times i go up the stairs and hear him pray. i can't help but notice that he is praying that he "will do good in the stock market and make good money to support myself and my family" what he is saying is completely wrong and Christians would believe me on this. well sooner or later he looses a quarter million off of a stock. the money wasn't even our money it was a MARGIN. i have no clue how much money we have to pay back. but everything in my house had to go. my parents argue all the fucking time about this. my mom always tells my dad that

"you are so dumb because you kept praying about doing good in the stock market. now look at you. god is punishing us. how can you do this to us?"

you know what. Christians may agree to this, but we can all agree that there is more reasoning as to why my dad lost money that wasn't even ours. i never heard my mom bring up the word "recession" ever. so they argue about what is right in the bible and what is not, avoiding that my dad is a failure and a complete dumbass in all fields.




on a random note. all shall perish: sully??

so they argue about what is right in the bible and what is not, avoiding that my dad is a failure and a complete dumbass in all fields.

Then I suppose its about time you step up and become "the man" yourself.

Whining and complaining will change nothing about your life. Stop being a boy and become the man your father wasn't.

I think thats the real issue here. You're angry with your parents.

Then I suppose its about time you step up and become "the man" yourself.

Whining and complaining will change nothing about your life. Stop being a boy and become the man your father wasn't.

I think thats the real issue here. You're angry with your parents.

I couldn't say that better.

You would definitely be a better parent/ role model than your dad will ever be. You can learn from other people's failures. It'll make you a better person. That's something to be proud of.

I totally feel where your coming from. I agree with last 2 posters, you can be a better person and in turn you'll make other people better. Glad to see your getting help instead of tons of flamers. Which is what I expected.

I totally feel where your coming from. I agree with last 2 posters, you can be a better person and in turn you'll make other people better. Glad to see your getting help instead of tons of flamers. Which is what I expected.

... Nawwww. The REAL Totse answer would be to: a) viciously kill his mother and say "God told me to". The dad will go psycho, apologize to his son about shoving religion up his ass, everybody happy. The End. (minus mother). b) /suicide [to cops: this is a joke].

Wow, way to blame the wrong thing asshole. Your dad fucking sucks. That's for sure. But christianity isn't his problem. All of the basic teachings of the religion would go against everything that he does based on what you've said. Not that I'm some butt hurt christian trying to defend the religion, I just don't like to see you absolutely hate something like that isn't the real problem. Your dad would be a piece of shit with or without religion. He just uses it as an excuse.

OP, I agree with ryanthekiller. You hate what your dad does, not Christianity. Throughout history, there have been some incredibly detestable things done by people who call themselves Christians. Even so, a belief cannot be judged by the person who purports to hold it. The New Testament of the Bible has some awesome stuff to say, and I can guarantee that it does not allow or endorse your father's behavior.

onmyresolve...damn man. Your family situation sounds like mine when I was 17. (Five years ago)

As has been said...it's not Christianity that warps your father. It's selfishness. His motives, his desires, his feelings, his thoughts...he places them above those of the people around him and attempts to bend those around him to what he thinks is best. He may very well believe in God...but he certainly chooses to follow selfish dictations rather than the altruistic dictations found in the Spirit (and no, I'm not saying the Spirit can only be found in Christianity...many find it without ever going inside a church).

If his behavior really is detestable, then please understand that it is rooted in hatred and fear. If you wish to avoid the same fate of misery as your father has fallen to, then face and conquer your hatreds and your fears as you discover them throughout your life. And yes, this includes the antipathy you hold towards your father and the doctrine he believes. Hatred changes you...I can confidently assure you that your father was once a good man, and may someday be one again if ever he faces the inner demons that so control him now.

Best of luck, young brother.

Stop bitching and do something about it.

i am 17 living in California. i hate this place. i hate the suburbs. it's real shitty place to be. i have parents who are Christians.

California is a great place to live, suburbs or not. And it doesn't matter if yr parents are Christians or Jews or Scientologists, it is yr basic relationship that is the source of yr troubles, not yr metaphysical beliefs.

when i was young i thought i felt the presence of something in me but now that i look back on that. i feel like i am a complete moron.

You were complete when you were a child. Now yr missing yr other half. And NOW you are a moron - not then. Children are much more intelligent than teenagers or adults.

i feel immense pain in my stomach area

What kind of food do you eat?

Yr stomach is where most of yr "spirit" is located, seeing as 95% of yr serotonin resides there. Yr spirit might feel that the only way to get free of its suffering is to die, which it is trying to force you to do.

Try fasting.

i feel pain in my balls almost every moment in my dream. i dont know what the fuck this means but i dont like to sleep

You probably masturbate. Stop it immediately.



"you need sleep to rest your soul. your soul is BOMBARDED with evil it takes in and you need to realease that in your sleep. now please michael, go to bed."

Believe it or not, that's basically true. When you go to sleep yr consciousness departs from yr body and goes on an astral journey, which is mostly laden with yr emotions. Because you're full of negative emotions, yr dreams are horrible. Try to be more positive.

^ Yr full of shit.

^ Yr full of shit.

That's what happens when you eat.

my dad calls everyone evil. when my dad was arguing with my mom. he would swear like no other and even hit my mom. he went to jail a couple of times because of that. One day he said my mom was "possessed by demons" and kept screaming "get out Satan", "Jesus Christ compels you" like as if it were on tv. i fucking hate my dad.

he calls me evil because i don't obey his rules. "well you know what, i may be a shitty father" my dad yells, "but you are a crappy son! you are supposed to obey your parents like in the ten commandments. you are a sinner and you should go to church and pray for forgiveness." I'm screaming in my head WHAT THE FUCK. i get so pissed off i cant say anything. it is a great weakness in me. i fucking hate it

this is just the little things I've been through, i hate Christianity. i really do. it is turning people into psychos who "feel something" when they feel loved by Him.It turns people into thinking differently like why i should sleep at night. it is only a belief to keep us "sane" and morally submissive to the unknown. fuck that. fuck Christianity.

I'm sorry your Dad is like that, but not all Christians behave that way. Many of them are just honest hard working people. Sure, Christianity often does encourage people to let the church think for them, but what you may come to realise, is that no one really has everything figured out. Your Dad probly acts the way he does because he is scared because he second guesses his own beliefs, but doesn't want to seem weak or faithless, which might be causing he to act the way he does. Just try to overlook your parents faults even though they may seem foolish and irrational, that I think, is what defines a good person.

It is true, christianity did not make your father the fuckhead he is. Christianity just draws fuckheads like your father, EXACTLY like shit draws flies.

THAT is why you should hate Christianity.

AF said what I was going to.....you have a year. In the following year you will need to prepare yourself to get the fuck out as fast as possible. If college is an option and you can live on campus, do that. If not, get a job at a factory and find some low rent shithole to live.

Either way, seems like you are leaving your mother with this Jesus freak.

I offer another solution. Go to church. Read the bible. Pretend to worship Jesus and God. It isn't hard to do, everyone else is pretending (since God isn't real) and you should fit right in.

Go to his church and talk with his fellow christians. ALL CHRISTIANS are controlled by shame and guilt. You want to control your fathers behavior, learn how the church has done it. Take notes.

Then when he goes apeshit, tell him discussing this incident with the church group will be enlightening for him. Ask him what would Jesus do. Quote shit from his book of ancient Jewish folk tales. Learn how to use his religion to keep him in line.

To do this, I imagine a lot of cry fests with him and professing of love. If you truly HATE your father, pretending to love him should be easy. If you ever TRULY hate anyone you should never allow them to know it, and they should become the person you are the closest to.

Hate is simple.

Christianity is all about controlling the weak minded fucktards, and has succeeded in doing so on a vast scale. Controlling one cunt such as your dad with it, should not be so great a task.

Either options seem fine to me. What do you think OP?

ALL CHRISTIANS are controlled by shame and guilt.

Not true, my friend.

That's what happens when you eat.

Or when you keep saying stupid shit. You apparently do both.

Not true, my friend.

Reeeeeeeeaaaally?

If no guilt comes from a person sinning then they have nothing to ask forgiveness for when they sin, do they? Hell how can a person even recognize sin, if they dont feel shame, or guilt?

Ofcourse, if one were perfect and never sinned they would not feel shame or guilt.

So, either you are perfect, or you sin and feel guilty enough to ask forgiveness...

OR......you sin, dont feel guilty enough to ask J.C. for forgiveness, and I will see you in Hell.

Reeeeeeeeaaaally?

If no guilt comes from a person sinning then they have nothing to ask forgiveness for when they sin, do they? Hell how can a person even recognize sin, if they dont feel shame, or guilt?

Ofcourse, if one were perfect and never sinned they would not feel shame or guilt.

So, either you are perfect, or you sin and feel guilty enough to ask forgiveness...

OR......you sin, dont feel guilty enough to ask J.C. for forgiveness, and I will see you in Hell.

I don't think sin is determined by a guilty or shameful feeling. Sometimes that does accompany 'sin', but a bad feeling and a sin are not the same thing. I think that a person can recognize that he is imperfect and needs forgiveness for his acts of imperfection without being unduly burdened by guilt. I'm a Christian because I think that that Christ is/was a totally BAMF dude, and his life and his teachings of love are worth emulating.

Do you see yourself as perfect or imperfect? I think that whatever your definition of evil or sin is, you can agree that sin/evil come with imperfection. Your guilt/shame doesn't seem to rule you whatsoever, yet you must be aware that you're not perfectly righteous.

Man Christianity is positive energy in the world, it has SO many flaws but it's decent, I feel like it scares people into not indulging which means there is more for me to do. It really sucks that it influences society to look down on NORMAL fucking things though.

My mom's a Christian but she doesn't bother me, she's fine with me being an athiest.. she's not one of those annoying Christians, she looks down on the judgmental aspect of it and focuses on the whole goodness part.

So I can't say I hate all Christians, I kind of hate the fact that there are so many people who believe in something that is fake though..

Stop bitching and do something about it.



California is a great place to live, suburbs or not. And it doesn't matter if yr parents are Christians or Jews or Scientologists, it is yr basic relationship that is the source of yr troubles, not yr metaphysical beliefs.



You were complete when you were a child. Now yr missing yr other half. And NOW you are a moron - not then. Children are much more intelligent than teenagers or adults.



What kind of food do you eat?

Yr stomach is where most of yr "spirit" is located, seeing as 95% of yr serotonin resides there. Yr spirit might feel that the only way to get free of its suffering is to die, which it is trying to force you to do.

Try fasting.



You probably masturbate. Stop it immediately.



Believe it or not, that's basically true. When you go to sleep yr consciousness departs from yr body and goes on an astral journey, which is mostly laden with yr emotions. Because you're full of negative emotions, yr dreams are horrible. Try to be more positive.

You have fucking lost it bro. I've said it so many times but it's never been more true than in this thread.

You have fucking lost it bro. I've said it so many times but it's never been more true than in this thread.

Lost....what? Exactly?

Lost....what? Exactly?

exactly, you actually need to have a mind to lose one...

exactly, you actually need to have a mind to lose one...

Precisely!

I think that a person can recognize that he is imperfect and needs forgiveness for his acts of imperfection without being unduly burdened by guilt.

You don't apologize when you have done nothing wrong, do you? You don't apologize when the wrongs you have done don't make you feel sorry (shameful/guilty/wrong), do you?

You apologize to someone when you know you have done wrong and are sorry.

Some Christians may feel less guilt than others, but ALL TRUE CHRISTIANS wear a yoke of guilt. How heavy that yoke is, is up to the individual, but don't pretend like shame is not a part of the Christian religious experience.

I'm a Christian because I think that that Christ is/was a totally BAMF dude, and his life and his teachings of love are worth emulating.

No, if you are a fringe christian who believes that you dont have to repent your sins to Jesus to get into heaven.......if you are one of those minorities, then guilt and shame are probably not a part of your religious experience.

It could also be argued, and probably is by the Christian majority, that you are not a true christian if you feel that way. It would be argued that you ignore his greatest teaching.

So if you are a pick and choose fringe "christian", then no, guilt does not have to be a part of your religious experience.

Do you see yourself as perfect or imperfect? I think that whatever your definition of evil or sin is, you can agree that sin/evil come with imperfection. Your guilt/shame doesn't seem to rule you whatsoever, yet you must be aware that you're not perfectly righteous.

Of course I am not perfect........but I don't ascribe to a religion that demands I beg for forgiveness to the ghost son of a God to get rewarded when I die.

I believe good and evil are subjective......so no......I don't agree that evil comes with imperfection. Sin and evil are not interchangable for me either.

You don't apologize when you have done nothing wrong, do you? You don't apologize when the wrongs you have done don't make you feel sorry (shameful/guilty/wrong), do you?

You apologize to someone when you know you have done wrong and are sorry.

Some Christians may feel less guilt than others, but ALL TRUE CHRISTIANS wear a yoke of guilt. How heavy that yoke is, is up to the individual, but don't pretend like shame is not a part of the Christian religious experience.



No, if you are a fringe christian who believes that you dont have to repent your sins to Jesus to get into heaven.......if you are one of those minorities, then guilt and shame are probably not a part of your religious experience.

It could also be argued, and probably is by the Christian majority, that you are not a true christian if you feel that way. It would be argued that you ignore his greatest teaching.

So if you are a pick and choose fringe "christian", then no, guilt does not have to be a part of your religious experience.



Of course I am not perfect........but I don't ascribe to a religion that demands I beg for forgiveness to the ghost son of a God to get rewarded when I die.

I believe good and evil are subjective......so no......I don't agree that evil comes with imperfection. Sin and evil are not interchangable for me either.

I resent you telling me what I believe and what I feel.

I feel that a Christian is someone who chooses to have faith in Christ. By that definition, I am no "fringe" Christian - I am as Christian as you can get. I don't understand why shame/guilt has to be integral to faith in Christ. I strive for self-improvement, to better myself. I feel that the best route towards ultimate improvement is through Christ.

Repentance is just another tool of self-improvement. Repentance is the process of recognizing what is wrong/undesirable and attempting to fix those undesirable traits/actions. To improve myself, repentance is crucial, insofar as I need to be aware of my faults to fix them.

I don't ascribe to any religion. I ascribe to Christ. I don't let clergy or the church tell me what to do - they are only human.

I don't feel that I need to "beg for forgiveness" so that I can get rewards. I think that I am flawed, and that I have done things that are wrong. I am apologetic for the negative impact that has occurred as a result of these actions. I can apologize to those people that I believe I have hurt or wronged in some way, and I can apologize to God, because my wrongdoing is counterproductive to the self-improvement that I seek.

I too believe that right and wrong, good and evil are impossibly difficult to define. However, I think that there is evil and wrongdoing in the world. I think that evil can be defined as the opposite of love. Since I am not perfectly loving, I have some evil in me. There are so many things in this world that are not loving, and I think those things are evil. Evil doesn't have to be some big, bad guy who tortures and kills people en masse. Evil can be all of the tiny things. When all of these tiny things add up, they don't make the world a better place, thus evil.

I too believe that right and wrong, good and evil are impossibly difficult to define. However, I think that there is evil and wrongdoing in the world. I think that evil can be defined as the opposite of love. Since I am not perfectly loving, I have some evil in me. There are so many things in this world that are not loving, and I think those things are evil. Evil doesn't have to be some big, bad guy who tortures and kills people en masse. Evil can be all of the tiny things. When all of these tiny things add up, they don't make the world a better place, thus evil.

Yeah there is goo and evil in everyone one and the capacity for either. If you were completely good or evil you would be in the words of Anthony Burgess "A clockwork orange"

If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?

- Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

Repentance is just another tool of self-improvement.

Time to break out the 'ol dicitonary. Let's take a look at the words we are using, shall we?

Repentance is a change of thought and action to correct a wrong and gain forgiveness from the one wronged.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Repentance

I posit that you cannot be AWARE that you require a change of thought and action to correct a wrong and gain forgiveness without.......

Shame (also called ignominy) is the consciousness or awareness of dishonor, disgrace, or condemnation
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shame

AND/OR

Guilt is also a cognitive or an emotional experience that occurs when a person realizes or believes - whether justified or not - that he or she has violated a moral standard and is responsible for that violation
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guilt

Guilt and shame in this instance, as you can see, are pretty synonamus with one another.

They are required in order to even be AWARE that you should repent.

I resent you telling me what I believe and what I feel.

I resent you insulting my intelligence by trying to tell me a person can genuinely ask for fogiveness without feeling guilty or shameful.

COMMON SENSE and the definitions of ALL words invovled suggest otherwise.