my wife and i arent seeing eye to eye on this.. she wants to give 10% of what we earn (i make about 2000 a month) to the church, and i absolutely do not. its not that i dont want to support the church or said fuck jesus or anything. its just that i dont think its going to be easy to support 4 people, save money for our future, tithe and not be incredibly stressed about money all the time. she explained to me that tithing does not win you favoritism with god, and not tithing doesnt bring gods wrath or anything. it seems to me like its a nice gesture. like putting a can of veggies in the food drive box. of course if my family didnt have to worry about food, id donate whatever we didnt need. but if we were starving, id definitely put my family ahead of everyone else.

what could we do to come to some kind of understanding?

Perhaps 5 percent?

Or just flat out tell her no. Then if she doesn't break, promise to donate when you are richer.

my wife and i arent seeing eye to eye on this.. she wants to give 10% of what we earn (i make about 2000 a month) to the church, and i absolutely do not. its not that i dont want to support the church or said fuck jesus or anything. its just that i dont think its going to be easy to support 4 people, save money for our future, tithe and not be incredibly stressed about money all the time.

what could we do to come to some kind of understanding?

With a salary of $2k a month, supporting a family of four in this rickety economy is going to take some shuffling around of funds. It's good that you're thinking of saving money for the future even though your salary will barely cover living expenses. And it's admirable for your wife to be so generous to a cause she champions, but I fear she is doing it more out of duty than good old-fashioned charity. And I'm sure she's getting external pressure from the church to do her "fair share" along with the rest of the congregation.

Clearly she has a big heart and is not a selfish person. Maybe you can talk to her about donating her time or services (versus money) to the church, so that she can feel as though she's doing her part without putting you guys in a financial strain.

The church isn't going to feed your kids, or pay your mortgage, or cover any medical expenses when you, your spouse, or your children get sick. Saving your money to have such an "emergency" fund when times are tough is the smartest, most practical thing to do. The church isn't going to go belly-up if it doesn't receive 10% of your earnings, but your household budget would definitely feel the pinch.

A good compromise IMO would be to have your wife donate her time or services as a means of supporting her church institution. The hard-earned money you earn at your job would be well spent keeping your family afloat and saving for future needs.

Good luck!

thanks for the advice. im not really sure what were going to do yet. i guess she feels that even though tithing isnt supposed to make you look good or bad in the eyes of god, if you tithe, everything will be fine but if you dont, you will continue to struggle your whole life... as much as i dont believe this, i dont want her to feel uncomfortable, so we will at least make a compromise.

tell me, is she protestant?

just say quote salvation by faith alone, and she would have nothing to say.

but if shes catholic, well, thats a different story

Tell her that you'll put in $200 worth of effort per month. If you make, say, $20 an hour, volunteer ten hours' worth of your time per month mowing the church's lawn or delivering meals to cripples or something.

Or just tell her that when she brings in 2K a month herself, she can have a say in where it goes.

sounds like you need to convince her that, religion is over rated.

Since you are obviously unwilling (and correctly so, I say), any tithing you do will be essentially extorted from you. One) this is SO not what Jesus had in mind (who wasn't that keen on churches anyway--he advises us to worship in private) and two) it can only have a negative effect on your spiritual growth.

Tell her this is a non-negotiable issue. If she persists, divorce her. Seriously.