to break it down i am more or less asking a personal opinion of others to judge me based on the facts, to see what they kan come up with im gonna list 8 facts about my life/beliefs and you.. the reader are to judge/give opinion/criticize me ......simply because i feel as if i am an open eyed person in a dark room full of blind people

#1. im a product of the U.S. catholic and public schools
#2. I smoke weed on a daily basis
#3. 3 of my friends. girlfriends have sexually come on to me without my attempt of coming on to them
#4. people see me as a "badass" type person but in fact im truly just a fun loving person
#5. being of ex-catholic beliefs i have seen thing that would turn even a nun into an atheist....such as.......
sub-1 a catholic priest sexually involved with a teacher
sub-2the theory of evolution???
sub-3 an innocent man beheaded in the street based on his beliefs
sub-4 i cant go into this one due to the fact that i could go down for it but im gonna sum it up with ..mass corruption on the level of U.S. politics within the catholic diocese
#6 I feel as if im not truly free and don't have freedom as we are lead to believe but only an illusion of freedom..only to leave us content with what we have
#7. my belief on the meaning of life is..there is none and humans being the humans we are are too inferior to comprehend that ...we only hope
#8. power,money,economy,greed,lust,fear,joy,anger,etc. are all human fabrications that i feel are limits set by our own selves to stop us from reaching our full development and true potential as a species

it sounds to me like you are going through an existential crisis.

congrats. now you can either decide the reality of life sucks and shoot yourself in the head or accept that life is just life and every day is meant to be just another day and make each day as enjoyable as possible since it's there for you to do with as you like

so your coming to these conclusions about life and finding all these things about yourself and what not I mean I figured out life sucks and everything is corrupt when I was in like grade 7 you just gotta deal with it and move on.

but the thing is what if I/we were not meant to just deal with it and move on what if I/we are to do something about it ...for example over a couple hundred years ago humans thought the world was flat and that we are the center of the universe and through not dealing with it humans have moved past "so kalled facts"

what if my friends on totse......what if we are meant for something greater

This isn't really a bitch, but damn if I know where it should go...