I thought this up last night, and I gotta say: It's genius. Unfortunately, there are way too many bleeding hearts out there, thus this will likely never be realized, but I think it would definitely work.

Basically, you would institute public lashings and humiliation into the prison system. If someone was found to be raping inmates, they would be lashed in public, they would be given a pink prison-issue uniform, and after a week of public embarassment, they'd then be sent to a gay cell-block. If someone was found engaging in any type of violence, be it fighting or actual murder, they would be lashed in public and lose various freedom priveleges.

In addition, you would destroy gang-alliances by making it a punishable offense to organize prisoners into gangs. Effectively, this would mean that when you saw different races grouping together into the typical American gang structures (ie. Mexican gangs, white gangs, black gangs, etc.), guards would grab anyone who appeared to be in a leadership position, whip them, and reduce their freedom. This would continue until you essentially just had small groups of ethnically diverse inmates. If you take away their leaders and, for instance, force a Nation of Islam guy and a white supremacist to play checkers and eat lunch together, I think that would be a major step toward making them civil human beings.

I think this would solve essentially every problem with the prison system. People would no longer go to prison and have to form allegiances with violent gangs, and through fear of harsh punishment, people would learn to solve their problems without violence. The current situation is that people go to prison and have to become worse criminals in order to survive. That's unacceptable.

What do you think? Any alterations? Do you think there would be any feasible way to actually make this happen?

I thought this up last night, and I gotta say: It's genius. Unfortunately, there are way too many bleeding hearts out there, thus this will likely never be realized, but I think it would definitely work.

Yep, it definitely sounds like you've been at the genius juice (http://i118.photobucket.com/albums/o110/revmyspace/party/party-courvoisier-scroll2.jpg) again.

Basically, you would institute public lashings and humiliation into the prison system. If someone was found to be raping inmates, they would be lashed in public, they would be given a pink prison-issue uniform, and after a week of public embarassment, they'd then be sent to a gay cell-block. If someone was found engaging in any type of violence, be it fighting or actual murder, they would be lashed in public and lose various freedom priveleges.

In addition, you would destroy gang-alliances by making it a punishable offense to organize prisoners into gangs. Effectively, this would mean that when you saw different races grouping together into the typical American gang structures (ie. Mexican gangs, white gangs, black gangs, etc.), guards would grab anyone who appeared to be in a leadership position, whip them, and reduce their freedom. This would continue until you essentially just had small groups of ethnically diverse inmates. If you take away their leaders and, for instance, force a Nation of Islam guy and a white supremacist to play checkers and eat lunch together, I think that would be a major step toward making them civil human beings.

I think this would solve essentially every problem with the prison system. People would no longer go to prison and have to form allegiances with violent gangs, and through fear of harsh punishment, people would learn to solve their problems without violence. The current situation is that people go to prison and have to become worse criminals in order to survive. That's unacceptable.

What do you think? Any alterations? Do you think there would be any feasible way to actually make this happen?

Where is the evidence that penal brutality tackles the causes of recidivistic criminality, i.e. actually reforms serious career criminals/gang members in any meaningful sense of the word?

Yep, it definitely sounds like you've been at the genius juice (http://i118.photobucket.com/albums/o110/revmyspace/party/party-courvoisier-scroll2.jpg) again.



Where is the evidence that penal brutality tackles the causes of recidivistic criminality, i.e. actually reforms serious career criminals/gang members in any meaningful sense of the word?

Whether there is evidence or not, the current system isn't working, and it's time to try something new. Besides, logically, if people know that the prison institution is going to come down hard on violence of any sort (ie. something more than just the slap on the risk of temporary isolation), it should be an efficient detterent. Perhaps I'm underestimating the will of the average prison thug, but I don't think they're going to sit around with their gang if they know they can be grabbed at any moment and be brutally punished.

Furthermore, it isn't really just brutality for the sake of brutality. It would be directly focused on driving gangs apart, and making the consequences of rape and murder extremely unpleasant even for someone doing multiple life sentences in prison.

You might say it's inhumane, but I think it's even more inhumane that prisoners have to be subjected to the whims of rapists and murderers, and essentially forced to affiliate themselves with worse criminals. I'm not proposing Shawshank prison here. There would be strict, established rules and punishments, and if you followed the rules (ie. don't rape, murder, or affiliate yourself with a gang) then you wouldn't have a problem.

Lastly, although I mentioned public lashings, I suppose it wouldn't have to be implented. I only suggest it because it is a severe form of physical pain, something that would undoubtedly be a crime deterrent. Whippings are not a pretty sight. Some form of psychological embarassment could possibly be an equivalent deterrent, though I don't think psychological torment presents a visual deterrent that's as compelling as physical torment.

EDIT: Whether or not such a program would truly "cure" a carreer criminal...well, obviously I'm not psychic. It would, however, afford other prisoners the chance to do their time in peace.

It's a good idea, but I'm afraid lashings simply are not enough. My friends and I had this six foot long whip and we used to lash each other on the forearms, calves, traps, etc. (stupid I know) and it's really not that bad at all. I think the only thing that would work would be something along the lines of having them fuck the sybian in public, but with a dildo around the size of say, a pickle jar. Or tie them with their arms behind their back and above their heads, to tree branches (four cons a tree) and let the public do what they will with them. But really and truly I do not think that prison reform is possible, why not just outright execute these guys when they mess up? You know they will never change.

Whether there is evidence or not, the current system isn't working, and it's time to try something new. Besides, logically, if people know that the prison institution is going to come down hard on violence of any sort (ie. something more than just the slap on the risk of temporary isolation), it should be an efficient detterent. Perhaps I'm underestimating the will of the average prison thug, but I don't think they're going to sit around with their gang if they know they can be grabbed at any moment and be brutally punished.

Furthermore, it isn't really just brutality for the sake of brutality. It would be directly focused on driving gangs apart, and making the consequences of rape and murder extremely unpleasant even for someone doing multiple life sentences in prison.

You might say it's inhumane, but I think it's even more inhumane that prisoners have to be subjected to the whims of rapists and murderers, and essentially forced to affiliate themselves with worse criminals. I'm not proposing Shawshank prison here. There would be strict, established rules and punishments, and if you followed the rules (ie. don't rape, murder, or affiliate yourself with a gang) then you wouldn't have a problem.

Lastly, although I mentioned public lashings, I suppose it wouldn't have to be implented. I only suggest it because it is a severe form of physical pain, something that would undoubtedly be a crime deterrent. Whippings are not a pretty sight. Some form of psychological embarassment could possibly be an equivalent deterrent, though I don't think psychological torment presents a visual deterrent that's as compelling as physical torment.

EDIT: Whether or not such a program would truly "cure" a carreer criminal...well, obviously I'm not psychic. It would, however, afford other prisoners the chance to do their time in peace.

Well if as a minimum you want a more safe and secure prison, then fine. The only issue I'd have with being lashed is the scarring - with gang members that may end up as a badge of honour, and as such could be counterproductive.

For an effective visual psychological torment that only leaves mental scars I'd recommend waterboarding. (http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=sS4sGYmzCuA) I'd imagine watching a bound man, whose legs and arms are convulsing in terror and panic as he 'drowns' to be most deterring. Maybe it could be a compulsory part of the induction session for the more serious criminals, just in case Carlos and his hombres think a little bit of water isn't going to hurt.

I think the only thing that would work would be something along the lines of having them fuck the sybian in public, but with a dildo around the size of say, a pickle jar.

Humanities has certainly... changed... since I last posted here regularly.

It's a good idea, but I'm afraid lashings simply are not enough. My friends and I had this six foot long whip and we used to lash each other on the forearms, calves, traps, etc. (stupid I know) and it's really not that bad at all. I think the only thing that would work would be something along the lines of having them fuck the sybian in public, but with a dildo around the size of say, a pickle jar. Or tie them with their arms behind their back and above their heads, to tree branches (four cons a tree) and let the public do what they will with them. But really and truly I do not think that prison reform is possible, why not just outright execute these guys when they mess up? You know they will never change.

Dude, real whippings aren't a joke; you and your friend obviously weren't hitting each other hard enough, and anyone who's even had a belt spanking would tell you the same. If you were to be put on a post and given lash after lash...well, if it lasted long enough your skin would be falling off your back, and you'd go into shock.

Dude, real whippings aren't a joke...

DerDrache speaks the truth, My Name is The Lord, read some accounts from the history of black slavery or the 19th century British navy.

Nah man for real, we did this with out shirts off once too. We bled. One time my power lifter friend got me in the trapezius with a t-shirt on and it split my shirt open. He could squat 500 pounds, incredible hip strength, but he still couldn't hurt me to where I felt I was scared or anything. It was just really painful. What you need to do with prisoners is humiliate them, a lot of them have already been stabbed and maybe even shot and in plenty of fights. You would need to get Magnus ver Magnusson and a Sjambok to generate any sort of humiliation/real pain with lashings. Getting fucked in the ass in public would impose upon them the very ideals they promote in prison, that once you are victimized you are less than a man forever. Especially by a pickle-jar diameter dildo hooked up to pneumatic jacks that splits their ass wide open. It's gotta be psychological torment.

Also,

http://static.howstuffworks.com/gif/inquisition-wheel.jpg

Imagine something like that but instead of a fire underneath the wheel and it's pillars (made entirely of old wood and nails) is situated so that it is leaning over the grand canyon. The men have dead animals stapled to their body so that eagles come to feast upon them. Their bodies would be malnourished so even if they got out and they were pissed it would be a long time before they could recover. The wheel could be powered by non-violent convicts on a treadmill that generates electricity 24.7 (they would be given nutritional gel through a dispenser). If that didn't do it someone would have to bring the fire back.

What ever happened to ethics?

What ever happened to ethics?

In this thread they've been replaced by something that might actually work.

SotB for Humanities moderator.

What ever happened to ethics?

In regard to my proposal, or Name is the Lord's?

If you're talking about me: How is it ethical to lock up criminals (ie. take away their human right to live freely), but unethical to maintain a safe, peaceful, reform-friendly prison environment with the threat of violent, physical punishment? If being "ethical" means leaving criminals with life sentences free to murder, rape, and have violent gang alliances, I'd have to say that those are some fucked up ethics.

People with long sentences get away with incredibly heinous shit, simply because they see that society is too "ethical" to take the measures to really stop them. It's a joke. To be blunt: You can't fight fire by being a pussy.

EDIT: In general, I think any set of ethics that is focused on simply following rules is doomed to be ineffective. It's better to focus on the big picture of what type of world you want to have.

You can't fight fire by being a pussy.



Word.

there is at least one known troll in this thread. 'mmkay guys? im not naming names btw :)

though i reckon in a nation where prisons are a private business, i reckon its unlikely to happen unless its made law or something

In regard to my proposal, or Name is the Lord's?

If you're talking about me: How is it ethical to lock up criminals (ie. take away their human right to live freely), but unethical to maintain a safe, peaceful, reform-friendly prison environment with the threat of violent, physical punishment? If being "ethical" means leaving criminals with life sentences free to murder, rape, and have violent gang alliances, I'd have to say that those are some fucked up ethics.

People with long sentences get away with incredibly heinous shit, simply because they see that society is too "ethical" to take the measures to really stop them. It's a joke. To be blunt: You can't fight fire by being a pussy.

EDIT: In general, I think any set of ethics that is focused on simply following rules is doomed to be ineffective. It's better to focus on the big picture of what type of world you want to have.


I agree with DerDrache. Thumbs up.

Seriously, it's not like ALL prisoners would be afflicted with this new punishment - just the ones that get out of hand.

Like someone said in another thread around here, if you can't do the time, don't commit the crime.

That holds true for this - and if you ARE forced to do the time, do it correctly, and you won't be punished. Our prisons today hardly reform anything. This is worth a shot!

if there wasn't such a high probability of me going to jail sometime in my life this would be the first thing that i would agree with you on.
i would hate to think what the world would be like if you were in s position of power

if there wasn't such a high probability of me going to jail sometime in my life this would be the first thing that i would agree with you on.
i would hate to think what the world would be like if you were in s position of power

Are you saying you'd prefer to go to jail and be at the mercy of gangs, rapists, manipulators, etc.?

Are you saying you'd prefer to go to jail and be at the mercy of gangs, rapists, manipulators, etc.?

Exactly!

Besides - DerDrache - you're saying that only offenders of the above listed (gang members, etc) would receive lashing.

I mean, as long as you do your time, and do it correctly (don't cause trouble), you'd avoid the situation - right?

OR

You could follow the example of, say, Norway, realise that people get released from prison eventually, and that humiliating them is not going to turn them into model citizens. It's only going to make it worse.

Also, maybe it's worth tackling the root of the problem and figuring out why these people choose to commit the crimes they commit. Maybe, just maybe, that will help reduce crime, and make the society an overall better place to be.

OR

You could follow the example of, say, Norway, realise that people get released from prison eventually, and that humiliating them is not going to turn them into model citizens. It's only going to make it worse.

Also, maybe it's worth tackling the root of the problem and figuring out why these people choose to commit the crimes they commit. Maybe, just maybe, that will help reduce crime, and make the society an overall better place to be.

That's the type of bleeding heart stuff that has let the American system get so bad. The lifers that rape or stab or recruit people for their gangs know that society doesn't have the "moral intelligence" to stop them, so they basically can do whatever they want in prison.

So-called "ethical" people think it's bad to physically punish a prisoner, yet at the same time they don't have a problem with putting prisoners in what is essentially hell on Earth and turning a blind eye to them. Essentially, ethical morons just toss prisoners into a lion pit and think they are doing the "right" thing.

Lastly: If prisoners don't commit ghastly crimes or associate with groups who promote ghastly crimes, then they'll be free to live in peace and comfort. How is it heartless to say "If you don't rape or kill people, you can do your prison sentence in peace"?

On a side note: Norwegian and American jails aren't really comparable.

Lastly: If prisoners don't commit ghastly crimes or associate with groups who promote ghastly crimes, then they'll be free to live in peace and comfort. How is it heartless to say "If you don't rape or kill people, you can do your prison sentence in peace"?



Answered my question.

Go in, do your time, don't fuck around - you're fine.

What's so bad about that?

Sweden has high reform rates, and by international standards their prisons are extremely lenient.

We could just put them all on an island and maybe they'll form a country. Or how about we just kill everyone who breaks the law than there would be no more crime.

Right, so the title of the thread says 'Reform', but all I can see here is terror tactics to force people to do things a certain way out of fear and not out of a reasonable desire formed through reformation.

Personally I think that the direction you are going in is wrong, not because it too harsh, or because you are physically punishing someone, but because physical punisment does not equal reformation.

Maybe I'm wrong but I'm fairly sure that reformation will come from education rather than punishment (And I'm sure with enough initial education there would be far fewer crimes.). Forcing criminals to obey the rules is not the way, giving them an understanding of the rules and a desire to follow them will be far more beneficial. Fear is a problem only as long as they have something to fear, as soon as the tool of fear is gone they may just go back to the start. We need to make it so that a prisoner makes a personal decision not to do bad things.

And actually stopping drug trade and contraband in prisons would probaly be a fairly good start. I'm sure drugs motivate a lot of problems. Providing outlets for negative emotions would probaly be a good idea.

So, yeah, prison should be a place for reform, but I'm also sure method isn't the best method for reformation.

The actual content of my post focuses mostly on reforming prisons themselves, and through that, allowing the majority of the population to have an opportunity to reform themselves without the stress of gangs and violence lurking all around them. Would rapists and violent gang leaders be reformed via brutally singling them out? It's hard to say, but I'm more interested in giving the majority the opportunity to reform in a safe environment. Regardless of whether this idea would truly reform the majority of criminals, it would fix the current situation where prisoners have to become hardened, rougher criminals just to stay alive and intact.

How on Earth is it acceptable that the norm in our society is that prisoners have to join up with murderous gangs just to do their time?

We don't need prisons, we need gas chambers.

We don't need prisons, we need gas chambers.

Yeah, because it's so difficult for a cop to "discover" some illegal drugs in your car.

Only if you are a retard and you do not know how to handle a police encounter. And only non-respectable citizens would end up found guilty in court of law. This kind of reform system (zyklon B) naturally weeds out the lessers of society without prejudice.

Oh and I'd like to to give me one verifiable case of an officer ever doing that in the history of police since 1890.

Personal "experiences" do not count by the way, as anyone who would suggest so is most certainly lying (everyone on death row is innocent), I mean an example I can read about here online or at the local library.

Prison discipline definitely needs an overhaul. It's fucking ridiculous.

I just got done reading "Newjack" by Ted Conover, detailing his experience becoming a corrections officer for one year in Sing Sing prison, one of the largest in the country. The C.O.'s use of force is really limited. When inmates disobey an order or break a rule, they are written up and then sentenced to so many hours in solitary confinement in the special housing unit (SHU). But because there are so many problems with the inmates, SHU is always full, so most are simply locked in their own cells all day as punishment. They call this keeplocking. But the law provides they get one hour of recreation outside, so they get that. And if an inmate breaks a rule while he is being keeplocked, what the fuck are you going to do as a CO? Fill out more paperwork and have him keeplocked for longer? What the fuck is the point?

These guys should be able to beat the shit out of some of these people that just do not learn. It can be regulated, and used as a last resort. It will make prison more orderly, more disturbing for those who misbehave, and a place where people will not want to come back to. Prison as it stands does not rehabilitate shit anyway. We need to get drug offenders out of there, and if you want to stop recidivism among ex-cons, you need to make education or vocational training fucking mandatory for anyone going to prison. Then there needs to be a change in the law regarding felons, protecting their right to employment if they meet a set of goals. These guys get out with no skills, can't find a job because they are labeled felons, and turn back to crime as a result. I know we want to punish them and ruin their lives for the horrible things they've done, but that's not going to do anything to discourage them from committing more crime.

Well we got someone right now in Arizona trying to change the Prisons in America right now. Currently he has dramatically changed the ones in his own county.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joe_Arpaio

Readh changes to the jail system and below. He makes the prisoners wear pink and they are only allowed to watch the History channel and Disney. Stuff like chain gangs were brought back too.

Well we got someone right now in Arizona trying to change the Prisons in America right now. Currently he has dramatically changed the ones in his own county.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joe_Arpaio

Readh changes to the jail system and below. He makes the prisoners wear pink and they are only allowed to watch the History channel and Disney. Stuff like chain gangs were brought back too.

I dunno...he sounds like a power-obsessed moron, and the number of incidents he's had in the past few years alone attests to that, IMO.

Well we got someone right now in Arizona trying to change the Prisons in America right now. Currently he has dramatically changed the ones in his own county.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joe_Arpaio

Readh changes to the jail system and below. He makes the prisoners wear pink and they are only allowed to watch the History channel and Disney. Stuff like chain gangs were brought back too.

As far as I understand, DerDrache was talking about punishing only those who disrupt the behaviour/bully reforming prisoners into the prison gangs.

So it's not quite the same.

I dunno...he sounds like a power-obsessed moron, and the number of incidents he's had in the past few years alone attests to that, IMO.

Despite the protests he's been reelected 3 times. Most of people protesting are usually prisoners anyways. I think if you've gotten yourself thrown in jail, you've lost your rights. Yes you'll be treated humanely, but your living standards aren't supposed to be great. You don't deserve cable TV or any kind of TV for that matter. Your supposed to be punished. So I think all luxuries should be taken away. You should be told what to do and you should only be allowed food of nutritional value and of course your basic hygiene.

Joe Arpiao, had done this. Do I agree with everything he's done? No I don't. But his county has the lowest amount of people return to prison in the state. I do believe he's setting a good example that the rest of the correctional facilities follow. Prisoners should be glad that they are going to be treated the way they do instead of like the ones in Mexico or some other 3rd world country. Prison should be about punishment and humiliation for what you've done.

Despite the protests he's been reelected 3 times. Most of people protesting are usually prisoners anyways. I think if you've gotten yourself thrown in jail, you've lost your rights. Yes you'll be treated humanely, but your living standards aren't supposed to be great. You don't deserve cable TV or any kind of TV for that matter. Your supposed to be punished. So I think all luxuries should be taken away. You should be told what to do and you should only be allowed food of nutritional value and of course your basic hygiene.

Joe Arpiao, had done this. Do I agree with everything he's done? No I don't. But his county has the lowest amount of people return to prison in the state. I do believe he's setting a good example that the rest of the correctional facilities follow. Prisoners should be glad that they are going to be treated the way they do instead of like the ones in Mexico or some other 3rd world country. Prison should be about punishment and humiliation for what you've done.

Yeah, I agree. I just think that he's skirting too close to the limits of being inhumane. I'm also very skeptical that the inmates are even getting their essential nutrients; taking away salt for instance means that there's probably no iodine in the prisoner's diet (with leads to goiters), and it might even result in a sodium deficiency.

It also sounds like he's a control freak, more obsessed with having power over everyone he can get his hands on (and consequently, treating anyone in the system like scum) than anything else. The problem with the whole "every prisoner is scum"-attitude seems apparent if you look at the types of incidents that have occurred, such as the pregnant woman almost dying because they didn't think she was seriously hurt, and didn't have the proper training to properly evaluate her.

I think there might be a lot of good that can come from his method, but there can also be a lot of bad that comes from it as well. You can punish people and make prison an unpleasant experience without actually dehumanizing everyone who enters the system, and I think this Arpiao guy needs to start trying to do that.

I suppose my main issue is that he runs a pretrial and 1-year facility. On the one hand, if he makes prison so unpleasant that people don't want to go back, that's great, but it also seems like it's on the boundary of being cruel and unusual punishment.

I suppose my main issue is that he runs a pretrial and 1-year facility. On the one hand, if he makes prison so unpleasant that people don't want to go back, that's great, but it also seems like it's on the boundary of being cruel and unusual punishment.

Yeah, we got to make a clarification here, guys. Joe Arpaio is a sheriff, not a warden. So he runs a county jail, not a prison. The county jail mostly holds people awaiting their trials that are too poor to afford bail, and then there is a small minority of prisoners who have been found guilty and sentenced to a few months for some small time offense. These are not big time criminals, and indeed some of them will be found innocent of their crimes, or given probation at their sentence and released.

When it comes to jails (not prisons), I think we should make things MORE humane and comfortable for the "inmates." Because these people have not been found guilty yet, they are there because they could not afford their bail and so the county wants to ensure they show up to court. In that regard, jail could be like a fucking hotel that you are not allowed to leave. Yet it's actually a worse environment than prison. Jail inmates don't get to go outside, there is no rec room or library, and family visitation is much shorter and consists of non contact visits through a wall with a phone. Why are we punishing people awaiting trial who have not been found guilty yet?

Most people only spend something like 48 hours in a jail, though there are the unlucky few who sit around for weeks or months waiting for their case to be decided. So imagine being hauled in to Sheriff Buttfuck's county jail one night for fighting in a bar, and having to put up with all his gay shit for a day or two. You'd just roll your eyes and think he was stupid. Then go out and have some more beers.

Arpaio is a hero. Cruel and unusual? Tell it to the victims.

Arpaio is a hero. Cruel and unusual? Tell it to the victims.

STFU ACOLYTE...................All joking aside, I wouldn't call him a hero. He's just doing what most Sheriff's should do.

He needs to start feeding them creek water and crumb cakes.

^ five dollars to anyone who can say that aloud, quickly, ten times consecutively without any errors.

you have to do it very loudly in a populated area though

Directly to the OP's question :

The only way to make the prison a better place is to allow a segregated prison system....

As we all know, 12% of the population in americans are african-type people, but they (african-americans) made up more than 60% of the prison population across america.....

In order to make the prison a place of true reform, a segregated prison system based on race is not *only* a good suggestion, but a *necessary* one.

Firstly, we need to segregate all the already overpopulated prison into 3 main groups according to their race, namely :

[1] whites
[2] south-americans
[3] african-americans

Due to the fact that asian/asian-americans in US prison are so small, they can easily be deported elsewhere, or be made permanent kitchen crew...and cooking is something they can do really well.

Then, we need to make changes to the US census database, by renaming the term "african-american" as "Pongo-Africus", (which is another sub-species of OrangUtan (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orang_utan)), thereby effectively removed these african-americans from the protection of human-rights and civil-liberties related laws.

Now without any human rights/civil liberties laws to cover their asses, problematic and repeat Pongo-Africus offenders that were FUBAR and are unable to be reformed, can be put to sleep in the most humanely way possible, either by :

[a] swift decapitation performed by experienced middle-eastern decapitators, (sourced form camp-delta)

[b] military sniper target practice, (a shot to the base of their skull is absolutely painless and humane)

[c] As aid materials for US wildlife department to capture/recapture dangerous wildlife such as alligators and maybe cougars or any other wildlife that are known to kill their prey speedily, painlessly, effectively and most important of all, as humanely as possible.

And if we put this segregation and termination system to use right now, I can guarantee that the US prison reform rate would increase by as much as 57%.

Thank you....

I laughed.^

You know I actually thought he was serious until he got to the US Census part. I lol'd!

I think the only thing that would work would be something along the lines of having them fuck the sybian in public, but with a dildo around the size of say, a pickle jar.

Something like this already exists!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Judas_Chair