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View Full Version : Are you an active or passive partner?


Chichi
2008-12-25, 08:35
Those are pretty much the best words I can think of to describe it.

I think in most relationships, there's an active partner and a passive partner.

The active partner:

Makes the first move

Is the first to fall in love

Loves more than they are loved back

Is the one who gets dumped in the end

The passive partner:

Is the one who gets asked out in the first place

Takes longer to fall in love

Doesn't love their partner as much as their partner loves them

Is the one who ends the relationship


Obviously this isn't the case with every relationship, but I've seen it alot.

Anyway, do you agree with this? If so, which partner would you consider yourself to be?

I know I'm definitely the active partner. Definitely. :o

arquin
2008-12-25, 08:38
I like the chase. I'd say I'm active.

Numberjumbo
2008-12-25, 08:40
Meh...

I have no say on the matter.

Hazzard
2008-12-25, 08:41
My allegiance is swayed towards active partner, because I can be lovestruck and besotted with a girl fairly soon, and then follow the series of events in which I'm incessantly displaying my obvious signs of lust for them. They either reciprocate mutual feelings, or get creeped out and do a runner'; from past experiences I'd definitely say I should mellow out more, ease off the ladies and start playing the smooth operator role, but that can be obtained in due time I guess. I'm only 15 after all...

Nefret
2008-12-25, 09:48
Uh, the label is too specific. I can be both, either, or neither.
So..... you fail.

By the way, aren't you like 15, where are you getting the experience to make these assumptions?

Chichi
2008-12-25, 09:57
Uh, the label is too specific. I can be both, either, or neither.
So..... you fail.

I clearly stated that this doesn't apply to all relationships.

But because you couldn't think of a decent answer, I'm a failure?

Good reasoning. :o

Malkog
2008-12-25, 11:11
I think you meant to say that in shitty relationships there's an active and passive partner.

parkus
2008-12-25, 15:39
I think you meant to say that in shitty relationships there's an active and passive partner.

Good call, dude.

ellementlady89
2008-12-25, 17:47
I'm a little bit of both...mostly passive, but I do tend to love the other person more than they probably love me.

Johnathon_Doerty
2008-12-25, 17:51
Whichever one pitches.

Zok
2008-12-25, 18:05
Passive - definitely. In fact, it's pretty ingrained in me that if she doesn't make a move, I'm not interested. I don't know why I'm that way, but I've always been like that. I feel like if I have to put forth all the effort then she's probably not attracted to me or interested - and if that's the case, what's the point? I'd rather be with someone who really wants me.

Of course, when she does put forth such an effort it will not go unreciprocated.

Kaijec Torsf
2008-12-25, 18:48
I've been both before... lately, I've taken the active role which has led me into a severe depression and left me with a repressed aggression towards the general female population.

I had one successful relationship with a girl I met overseas.. and I had to be the one to call it quits because the plane was leaving. However, I did consider not coming back to the US.

And another, in which... she started chatting with another boy when I wasn't around. Got extremely jealous and cut her loose. Prrrrooobably shouldn't have done that.. *

I get reallly jealous...,I don't like to talk about my problems.

NoSkills
2008-12-25, 18:56
I don't think these labels apply to functional relationships.

My boyfriend and I love each other equally. I made the first move. He fell in love first.

Redefine your parameters.

scorpio2121
2008-12-25, 19:13
I've been both before... lately, I've taken the active role which has led me into a severe depression and left me with a repressed aggression towards the general female population.

I had one successful relationship with a girl I met overseas.. and I had to be the one to call it quits because the plane was leaving. However, I did consider not coming back to the US.

And another, in which... she started chatting with another boy when I wasn't around. Got extremely jealous and cut her loose. Prrrrooobably shouldn't have done that.. *

I get reallly jealous...,I don't like to talk about my problems.

I can relate to that.

I'm probably more of an active kinda guy, and have been wishing lately that she'd maybe start showing some more appreciation for me. I dunno...

Maybe things'll get better after i talk to her. Also, i probably fall in love first.

Edit: Above makes me sound like a stalker, all is in relation to my girlfriend.

WritingANovel
2008-12-25, 19:18
My allegiance is swayed towards active partner, because I can be lovestruck and besotted with a girl fairly soon, and then follow the series of events in which I'm incessantly displaying my obvious signs of lust for them. They either reciprocate mutual feelings, or get creeped out and do a runner'; from past experiences I'd definitely say I should mellow out more, ease off the ladies and start playing the smooth operator role, but that can be obtained in due time I guess. I'm only 15 after all...

wow dude, you are extremely articulate for a 15 year old...

zuperxtreme
2008-12-25, 19:30
Err... both, I think.

Hazzard
2008-12-25, 19:35
wow dude, you are extremely articulate for a 15 year old...


Lol, you don't know the half of it woman. I have to tone it down for the kids at school and be like one of them: a brainless twit with limited vocab. But yeah, don't think this hasn't hindered me, when you act like Shakespeare around ladies it doesn't really pull off the tricks you're hoping for half the time...:(

WritingANovel
2008-12-25, 19:41
Lol, you don't know the half of it woman. I have to tone it down for the kids at school and be like one of them: a brainless twit with limited vocab. But yeah, don't think this hasn't hindered me, when you act like Shakespeare around ladies it doesn't really pull off the tricks you're hoping for half the time...:(

Haha are you serious? If you are, you should ask your school to transfer you to one of those advanced classes for gifted kids, if you really think that school is too easy for you.

As for the Shakespeare part, well, not all women are turned off by an intelligent and well-read guy :P You just have to aim for the right "demographic", I guess.

Hazzard
2008-12-25, 20:19
Haha are you serious? If you are, you should ask your school to transfer you to one of those advanced classes for gifted kids, if you really think that school is too easy for you.

As for the Shakespeare part, well, not all women are turned off by an intelligent and well-read guy :P You just have to aim for the right "demographic", I guess.

I'm no where near qualified for a grammar school; I just really excel in literature but in other subjects I'm below par tbh, except for those linked to English.

Yeah, I might finally of found a girl who can relate to me coincidentally! She uses big words and everything, I think we might enter a national spelling bee quiz lol. :)

Robolrich
2008-12-25, 21:06
Those are pretty much the best words I can think of to describe it.

I think in most relationships, there's an active partner and a passive partner.

The active partner:

Makes the first move

Is the first to fall in love

Loves more than they are loved back

Is the one who gets dumped in the end

The passive partner:

Is the one who gets asked out in the first place

Takes longer to fall in love

Doesn't love their partner as much as their partner loves them

Is the one who ends the relationship


Obviously this isn't the case with every relationship, but I've seen it alot.

Anyway, do you agree with this? If so, which partner would you consider yourself to be?

I know I'm definitely the active partner. Definitely. :o

Uhh, your definitions are off a little chichi. But I'd say I'm a mix of both, I'll pursue the hunt, but I don't fall in love easily, and if I feel like the relationship sucks and it won't get better, I'll kick them off the boat and watch the piranhas feed.

LSA King
2008-12-25, 21:12
Well by your definition I would definitally have to say I swing more toward passive then active. Being the active one is always the first to get hurt. Been there done that way too many times and I say FUCK THAT!

scorpio2121
2008-12-25, 21:28
I'm no where near qualified for a grammar school; I just really excel in literature but in other subjects I'm below par tbh, except for those linked to English.

Yeah, I might finally of found a girl who can relate to me coincidentally! She uses big words and everything, I think we might enter a national spelling bee quiz lol. :)

I have a new found respect for you. Never give up on who you are mate, Never.

stripped
2008-12-25, 21:36
I'm definitely the active partner in my relationship when it came to the beginning/up til now but when it comes to the end, I will remain passive unless if the wind blows the other way.

Tinted Glass
2008-12-25, 21:54
Well.. I quite enjoy being chased when I'm single, but yes, I was the first to fall in love.

Its hard to get stuff out of my boyfriend, but I know now, at this juncture in our lives, he loves me just as much as I love him.

So I'd say, began passive, became active, fell in between and got stuck.

TheVizier
2008-12-25, 22:59
Passive, most definetely.

Irregular
2008-12-25, 23:13
100% passive

Agent 008
2008-12-25, 23:17
Lol at the tags.

ZeroMalarki
2008-12-25, 23:49
I've done both. I've had girls chase after me and I've chased after girls. That being said I never keep either for long. I've had sex with ten girls in my life time, but most of them have been one night stands, or a few nights on the trot. The times I've had sex, a blow job or handjob is under twenty. I couldn't count the number of girls I've kissed though.

ingutted
2008-12-26, 03:08
im her bitch if thats what you mean. not a problem though, i like when she takes charge.

Nightside Eclipse
2008-12-26, 03:58
Passive - definitely. In fact, it's pretty ingrained in me that if she doesn't make a move, I'm not interested. I don't know why I'm that way, but I've always been like that. I feel like if I have to put forth all the effort then she's probably not attracted to me or interested - and if that's the case, what's the point? I'd rather be with someone who really wants me.

Of course, when she does put forth such an effort it will not go unreciprocated.

This sums it up quite good.

Chichi
2008-12-26, 06:17
I don't think these labels apply to functional relationships.

My boyfriend and I love each other equally. I made the first move. He fell in love first.

Redefine your parameters.

If you read my original post, you'd see that I said this doesn't apply to all relationships.



And for everyone that says your partner loves you equally, like come on man. That's impossible. Two people can't both happen to feel the exact same degree of love for eachother. Well they can, but its' HIGHLY improbable.

:mad:

Malkog
2008-12-26, 06:54
If you read my original post, you'd see that I said this doesn't apply to all relationships.



And for everyone that says your partner loves you equally, like come on man. That's impossible. Two people can't both happen to feel the exact same degree of love for eachother. Well they can, but its' HIGHLY improbable.

:mad:

Unless that level of love is infinite.

Chichi
2008-12-26, 07:07
Unless that level of love is infinite.

Which it never is.