View Full Version : Why the hell am I still with him
So my boyfriend and I have been together for two years, and I've been living with him for one and a bit years. In that time he has cheated on me once with some random chick, tried to cheat on me with one of my friends, and tied to cheat on me with another three random girls which he failed to do so with all of them. He has also written crude fantasies about his cousin who is 15, and has looked at kiddie porn on the computer. A few months ago he was even going to pack up his bags and just randomly move to another country without me but inviting his friend. He later apologized, and as usual I forgave him (since I live with him I had no other choice). I'm deeply in love with him, although looking back at it I have no idea why. I know that anyone who reads this will think I'm an idiot for still being with him, and to be honest I actually realize that I am. He has made me into something I hate. I never use to get jealous with guys, and I always made an effort to completely trust them, but now every time I see him talking to another girl I have this horrible feeling of what he’s going to try with her, and I have no trust in him what so ever. I could never cheat on anyone, but lately I've started to hang around other guys and have been so close to getting together with them. I am quite attractive and have always got guys on my tail, but my boyfriend doesn’t get jealous since he knows I would never cheat on him. I'm moving into a house with him next year, but have a feeling that as soon as we get there I'm going to break up with him. I left home when I was 16 so have no family support, and my friends all have places to live etc so I can’t go live with them. I'm also low on money, and we have already bought all of our home essentials together. What should I do? I love him, but I want to leave him.
Sorry if this is a bit jumbled, I just have so many thoughts going through my head its hard to write it all down.
moonmeister
2008-12-26, 02:57
It's certainly easier to do what one is doing (whatever that may be) than to do something new. The brain lays down neural pathways for each thing one does. To make it easier & more convenient to do it.
With a new thing, it is more difficult to do it easily & well until those pathways are laid down. One will thus feel shaky & out of it until this happens. Old ways are comfortable ways. Even if they suck.
ChickenOfDoom
2008-12-26, 02:58
Get a job or other source of independent income, then the living situation dependency thing won't be a problem.
LSA King
2008-12-26, 03:02
I know that anyone who reads this will think I'm an idiot for still being with him, and to be honest I actually realize that I am.
No we think your an idiot because you live with your BOYFRIEND and depend on him like he is the bread maker husband. Get a job, move the fuck out, then you can move the fuck on. Next question plz.
moonmeister
2008-12-26, 03:04
Though it is hard to get jobs with low skills? Many restaurants will hire a pretty girl just for her looks. Same with retail. I know that the economy is slowing, but being attractive can still help.
holloworld
2008-12-26, 03:04
Your bf's an incest pedo. He probably posts here too hun.
LSA King
2008-12-26, 03:05
Though it is hard to get jobs with low skills? Many restaurants will hire a pretty girl just for her looks. Same with retail. I know that the economy is slowing, but being attractive can still help.
This would then require the thread to see pix plz!
moonmeister
2008-12-26, 03:13
This would then require the thread to see pix plz!
Huh... Yeah. Would we hire her? Even if we didn't have a business? It's relative anyways. She still might be one of the more attractive people to apply at a place. I know that at a store with multiple tills I often go for the one with the best looking person.
Silverfuck
2008-12-26, 03:23
Situations like this are very difficult. You know what you need to do, god knows everyone around you knows what you need to do, but actually breaking yourself off from everything you know and taking your entire world on your shoulders is such a huge undertaking that people tend to talk around it, think themselves in circles, and end up getting overwhelmed by the idea of it and never doing anything at all.
So stop thinking about it. Because the more you think about it, the more reasons you'll find to stick around for convenience's sake, and the more trapped and miserable you will become. Drain the bank account, fill up a suitcase and get your ass out of there. It'll be a terrible feeling at first, and you'll feel lost and confused and want to run back to a place where your life is constant, if not happy, but you'll manage...people usually do, and you'll thank yourself for taking action and walking towards happiness instead of stewing in your own misery and waiting for happiness to come towards you like so many people do.
moonmeister
2008-12-26, 03:28
Yeah...but how much should she just jump penniless & how much should she work first to give herself a chance? Only she can decide.
Is her situation so untenable that she must leave right away? Might depend on if she has some place to live otherwise.
Though it is hard to get jobs with low skills? Many restaurants will hire a pretty girl just for her looks. Same with retail. I know that the economy is slowing, but being attractive can still help.
/thread (http://www.defencejobs.gov.au/)
Nightside Eclipse
2008-12-26, 03:38
1. Go get a job asap (I know theres a recession, but try damnit)
2. If you get one, take everything and leave.
b) If not, look for alternative places to live.
You may want to leave because due to his level of cheating, he has no respect for you-- and you seem to be staying with him for living comforts.
Talk about one nice cage you've got built there for yourself :(
matayo86
2008-12-26, 04:34
If you want him to stop and you really care about him, just cheat on him. He will then probably be on his knees begging you to stay with him. Or you could just lie. A little jealousy can go a long way in a relationship. Karma's a bitch.
jewishnazi
2008-12-26, 04:44
if youre going to say your attractive then you should at least post pics of yourself to back it up, and if your BF is checking out kiddie porn then report his ass to the police.
LSA King
2008-12-26, 04:55
if youre going to say your attractive then you should at least post pics of yourself to back it up, and if your BF is checking out kiddie porn then report his ass to the police.
This.
pink smoke
2008-12-26, 05:31
So my boyfriend and I have been together for two years, and I've been living with him for one and a bit years. In that time he has cheated on me once with some random chick, tried to cheat on me with one of my friends, and tied to cheat on me with another three random girls which he failed to do so with all of them. He has also written crude fantasies about his cousin who is 15, and has looked at kiddie porn on the computer. A few months ago he was even going to pack up his bags and just randomly move to another country without me but inviting his friend. He later apologized, and as usual I forgave him (since I live with him I had no other choice). I'm deeply in love with him, although looking back at it I have no idea why. I know that anyone who reads this will think I'm an idiot for still being with him, and to be honest I actually realize that I am. He has made me into something I hate. I never use to get jealous with guys, and I always made an effort to completely trust them, but now every time I see him talking to another girl I have this horrible feeling of what he’s going to try with her, and I have no trust in him what so ever. I could never cheat on anyone, but lately I've started to hang around other guys and have been so close to getting together with them. I am quite attractive and have always got guys on my tail, but my boyfriend doesn’t get jealous since he knows I would never cheat on him. I'm moving into a house with him next year, but have a feeling that as soon as we get there I'm going to break up with him. I left home when I was 16 so have no family support, and my friends all have places to live etc so I can’t go live with them. I'm also low on money, and we have already bought all of our home essentials together. What should I do? I love him, but I want to leave him.
Sorry if this is a bit jumbled, I just have so many thoughts going through my head its hard to write it all down.
Bwahhahahahaha. Ohhhh dear lord.
You're funny. Yeah, if you really "got guys on your tail", then I doubt you'd still be with the pedo cheater. No one is that stupid; desperate - maybe.
But who knows. Pics or it didn't happen.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Plus your username or &t in the photo, you stupid cunt.
So my boyfriend and I have been together for two years, and I've been living with him for one and a bit years. In that time he has cheated on me once with some random chick, tried to cheat on me with one of my friends, and tied to cheat on me with another three random girls which he failed to do so with all of them. He has also written crude fantasies about his cousin who is 15, and has looked at kiddie porn on the computer. A few months ago he was even going to pack up his bags and just randomly move to another country without me but inviting his friend. He later apologized, and as usual I forgave him (since I live with him I had no other choice). I'm deeply in love with him, although looking back at it I have no idea why. I know that anyone who reads this will think I'm an idiot for still being with him, and to be honest I actually realize that I am. He has made me into something I hate. I never use to get jealous with guys, and I always made an effort to completely trust them, but now every time I see him talking to another girl I have this horrible feeling of what he’s going to try with her, and I have no trust in him what so ever. I could never cheat on anyone, but lately I've started to hang around other guys and have been so close to getting together with them. I am quite attractive and have always got guys on my tail, but my boyfriend doesn’t get jealous since he knows I would never cheat on him. I'm moving into a house with him next year, but have a feeling that as soon as we get there I'm going to break up with him. I left home when I was 16 so have no family support, and my friends all have places to live etc so I can’t go live with them. I'm also low on money, and we have already bought all of our home essentials together. What should I do? I love him, but I want to leave him.
Sorry if this is a bit jumbled, I just have so many thoughts going through my head its hard to write it all down.
Girl.. Your not in love with him! trust me.. You will look back at this one day and realize this too.. Just get away from him and work on loving yourself first.. He's a dick and you deserve better.. Life is too short, don't fucking jip yourself~
Rykoshet
2008-12-26, 08:08
And people wonder why I don't trust women to make decisions.
chrislol
2008-12-26, 08:23
Your bf's an incest pedo. He probably posts here too hun.
comon i doubt fragginnoobsincolumbine even has a girlfriend.
"I'm deeply in love with him, although looking back at it I have no idea why"
Why is it so many people confuse dependancy and love?
Everything you have said points to the fact no you are not "Deeply in love" you are just to shit scared to strike out on your own.
DEPENDANCY IS NOT LOVE!!!! Leave his ass.
And if all is true and you are hot you will have no trouble finding somewhere to go, Crash on a friends couch a few nights while you sort it out.
Hell move to Australia (If not already there) and crash on my couch. Just Man (Or in this case Women) Up and do something about it.
Otherwise before you know it your 35 with a cheating husband who is molesting your children.
xilikeeggs0
2008-12-26, 09:54
/thread (http://sydney.craigslist.com.au/adg/)
Fixed.
Robolrich
2008-12-26, 11:07
Pathetic, just a piss and moan rant.
/thread.
moonmeister
2008-12-26, 11:10
Pathetic, just a piss and moan rant.
/thread.
Wha'? Just another girl who bitches & moans, stays, has his baby...leaves him/is left when the kid is a toddler? Then lives the life of just another sad, moany victim for the next 20 years? :eek: :(
I already have a job, I didn’t say I didn’t have one. Its just that the money goes out the door so quickly on rent and essentials, plus when I was still at school my parents cut all financial support to I had to support myself throughout the end of grade 11 and the whole of grade 12. That’s where my money has gone, although I had a lot of help from my boyfriend and his family, I paid for all I could.
And I'm not confusing love and dependency; I've left him before but to start over and to convince myself I didn’t love him, but I truly do. That’s the only reason I'm still with him.
And also, I would post a picture for you, but how do I actually do it? Here are links to photobucket, not sure if they’ll work or not…
http://i255.photobucket.com/albums/hh139/KerryKent/n533822734_1636804_1172.jpg
(I’m on the right)
moonmeister
2008-12-27, 10:44
What can we say in your dilemma? It does seem sometimes that girls (guys) who have settled down young...get a little older & realize they haven't been around different places & done weird stuff enough. They've become like old married folks before they were ever young/adult & free.
Any of that play into it or do you hope to avoid all that freedom & the decisions it entails & get on the tracks to "together 50 years & avoided all that wild stuff"? ;)
What would you have done if he'd gone off without you? Dropped everything & chased after him? Waited until he returned, "He must return for our love is destined & true!"?
Or was he even really serious about leaving? Was it just a fantasy or for real? Is he too young to be "settled"? Are you one of those people who wish you two had met on the 1st Day of HS & stuck together forever 'n ever?
jackketch
2008-12-27, 14:14
It is all rather simple really.
You close the door behind you and don't come back. Nothing there is of any value. You can always find a place to crash for a few nights. Chances are if you work in a large firm then some girl will be looking for someone to share the rent, the way the economy is and all. If not try the nearest student bar.
Maybe have your next paycheck go into a different bank account and the day it arrives you walk out? Leave him to worry about paying the rent etc.
Stop being a whore and selling yourself for the price of a roof over your head( I mean that in the nicest possible way), you are worth more than just being his cum dumpster when he can't find anything better.
Leave it all there, walk out with the clothes on your back and your head high, girl.
It is all rather simple really.
You close the door behind you and don't come back. Nothing there is of any value. You can always find a place to crash for a few nights.
Maybe have your next paycheck go into a different bank account and the day it arrives you walk out? Leave him to worry about paying the rent etc.
Stop being a whore and selling yourself for the price of a roof over your head( I mean that in the nicest possible way), you are worth more than just being his cum dumpster when he can't find anything better.
Leave it all there, walk out with the clothes on your back and your head high, girl.
This
Hardest thing you will ever do but as mentioned its the best thing to do
jackketch
2008-12-27, 14:27
This
Hardest thing you will ever do but as mentioned its the best thing to do
Yep, but she needs to realise that while she may madly love him, he doesn't give a flying fuck about her. His actions speak louder than any words.
dark-easterbunny
2008-12-27, 16:27
Listen to jackketch, there's very little anybody with any clue here can add to it
And good look finding the courage in yourself, change is always scary
Leave. Sadly, being alone will be better than being with him.
slim-ov-derby
2008-12-27, 21:35
Live with me instead.
Well you know boys are like roses
you have to watch out for the pricks
Gadooosh!
2008-12-28, 00:56
nekkid pix always helps us see the situation in it's entirety you know...
slim-ov-derby
2008-12-28, 01:02
nekkid pix always helps us see the situation in it's entirety you know...
Yeah that always helps with realism and being able to see shit from a realistic perspective.
DukeofNewYork, A#1
2008-12-28, 01:27
Well you know boys are like roses
you have to watch out for the pricks
why do girls always think this kind of shit is clever?
Did you ever think about talking about some of these things with him? You know, like a fucking mature person?
CosmicExplosionofFlavor
2008-12-28, 03:39
I didn't read the thread. But the answer is QUIT BEIN A BITCH AND DO IT FAGGOT.
I didn't read the thread. But the answer is QUIT BEIN A BITCH AND DO IT FAGGOT.
STFU acolyte.
Anyway, to the OP. Yes you are an attractive girl assuming that was indeed you in the picture (next time write your username or totse or something on a piece of paper and hold it up next to you so we can be sure). I don't really have anything to add seeing as everyone who isn't a dumbfuck acolyte has already said it.
However it's true, just leave his sorry arse. He's a dick and you know it. You should have left him the first time he cheated on you. I know it's going to be tough, and for the first few weeks you're going to be kicking yourself and wanting to go back to him. But you just need to persevere and don't wait around for him to change. Don't try and kid yourself, he's a cock and nothing more. He isn't worth your time.
PS. where in aus are you from? You look somewhat familiar
Fanglekai
2008-12-28, 04:43
Is he the goofy motherfucker in your photobucket album? By the way, you're really attractive, especially in your other photos.
Anyway, jack already answered the question. It's time to leave this guy. Stop putting up with bullshit. What you should do is go open a new bank account immediately, transfer all your funds into it, go into work and have your checks deposited into the new account (if you do direct deposit), and move out. I'm sure you have friends you could stay with for a little while.
Alternatively, you could find a new place and then move out. This would be easier and more sensible so you wouldn't have to stay with other people or deal with moving your shit around. Find a new apartment or whatever, move your shit into it when he is not at home, and voila. You'll have your new life.
Don't let him try to change your mind. Don't tell him where your new place is. Call him to break up.
I'm from QLD, how about you?
And here’s another picture for you to know its me
http://i255.photobucket.com/albums/hh139/KerryKent/Myself1.jpg
and this one is of my boyfriend and I
http://i255.photobucket.com/albums/hh139/KerryKent/LaurrelBankPark-21-10-0820.jpg
moonmeister
2008-12-28, 10:21
Perhaps you're on of those women who don't much worry that he does other women, as long as he comes home again. Do you see yourself as that type of girl?
One who gains a certain moral superiority from being the faithful one in a relationship. The more he runs around and she doesn't the greater her power becomes.
xilikeeggs0
2008-12-28, 10:33
I'm from Toowoomba, QLD, how about you?
And here’s another picture for you to know its me
http://i255.photobucket.com/albums/hh139/KerryKent/Myself1.jpg
and this one is of my boyfriend and I
http://i255.photobucket.com/albums/hh139/KerryKent/LaurrelBankPark-21-10-0820.jpg
Even if you don't mind him treating you like shit and cheating on you, you should still dump him for looking like a huge fag.
moonmeister
2008-12-28, 10:39
Some women, like some men, only worry about their partner cheating with someone of the opposite gender. They're all, "Oh whoa is me! He is cheating with three other girls! I, can't really see why I should worry about the three guys he's fooling around with? They're guys!? So how could it matter? :eek: :confused: "
Obiwanshinobi000
2008-12-28, 10:43
Wow, you're one of the main reasons I have no respect for women. You let your boyfriend treat you like shit and walk all over you, and do nothing about it because you're "in love". Its not that complicated, take your shit, pawn it, live in a women's shelter for a few days or whatever and find somewhere new to live and a new boyfriend. Or better yet, murder/suicide because you're a fucking failure and your boyfriend does indeed look like a huge fag.
I'm from Toowoomba, QLD, how about you?
And here’s another picture for you to know its me
http://i255.photobucket.com/albums/hh139/KerryKent/Myself1.jpg
and this one is of my boyfriend and I
http://i255.photobucket.com/albums/hh139/KerryKent/LaurrelBankPark-21-10-0820.jpg
I'm from Sydney, NSW, but I go up and down the east coast frequently and I have family in Brisbane so I'm in QLD every now and then. If you're ever down in Sydney then you should totally come visit :D it'd be nice to meet a fellow totsean
Actually, you should just leave your boyfriend, and catch a one way ticket down here. Then there's no way to get back without spending lots of money. I've had more than one friend's parent do that. It's good in a way, even if it does seem like th pussy option.
Fanglekai
2008-12-28, 17:58
I'm from Toowoomba, QLD, how about you?
And here’s another picture for you to know its me
http://i255.photobucket.com/albums/hh139/KerryKent/Myself1.jpg
and this one is of my boyfriend and I
http://i255.photobucket.com/albums/hh139/KerryKent/LaurrelBankPark-21-10-0820.jpg
You failed to respond to my post. He is the goofy motherfucker in your photobucket. You seriously think he's the best you can do? He's trying to look like he has down's syndrome or something. Follow my previous advice and move on.
jackketch
2008-12-28, 19:24
Posting pics of yourself and him and then also telling people where you live is probably not a clever thing to do.
Even if no one misuses the information there is still a chance that either your boyfriend, or some he knows, will stumble across it.
We have had a lot of heartache and shit over the years here due to such things.
xilikeeggs0
2008-12-28, 21:58
Posting pics of yourself and him and then also telling people where you live is probably not a clever thing to do.
Even if no one misuses the information there is still a chance that either your boyfriend, or some he knows, will stumble across it.
We have had a lot of heartache and shit over the years here due to such things.
Would it really be a bad thing if her boyfriend found this thread?
But I do agree, it's stupid to post pics and personal info like that.
pink smoke
2008-12-30, 04:59
I'm from Toowoomba, QLD, how about you?
And here’s another picture for you to know its me
http://i255.photobucket.com/albums/hh139/KerryKent/Myself1.jpg
and this one is of my boyfriend and I
http://i255.photobucket.com/albums/hh139/KerryKent/LaurrelBankPark-21-10-0820.jpg
Ohhhh sweetie...
You can do better.