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View Full Version : The funniest shit I've read all day...


SHARP
2008-12-26, 09:41
An experiment in literature, I had a sneaky suspicion that's how it'd go.

A clickable green link. (http://www.relationshipcontract.net/x1ChamomileTea.html)

The Duke
2008-12-26, 10:08
Yeah, that was a good laugh out loud, I really want that teacher. I'd always get good grades! :D


-Selah

Raul Endymion
2008-12-26, 10:58
I lol'd.

@@@
2008-12-26, 11:58
Hahaha, Jim crushed that bitch.

Mokothar
2008-12-26, 12:15
I lol'd.

KING G
2008-12-26, 12:34
I was hoping it'd end by the two exchanging phone numbers :(

scorpio2121
2008-12-26, 17:55
Haha, funny stuff.

longshot
2008-12-26, 18:04
nice find!:cool:

poofeek
2008-12-26, 20:43
good stuff sir, good stuff

artyrox
2008-12-26, 20:51
LOLz now that is a good way to pick up chicks

HARDMAN
2008-12-26, 21:08
Rebecca sounds pretty hot.

TheVizier
2008-12-27, 05:33
Rebecca sounds pretty hot.

Yeah but she still got owned by Jim :)

twotimintim
2008-12-27, 05:45
The Boy writer wins

Its funny cause SHE called HIM illiterate, when in her first para. she opens a sentence with "But"...

lol

+1 good post

KING G
2008-12-27, 05:47
The Boy writer wins

Its funny cause SHE called HIM illiterate, when in her first para. she opens a sentence with "But"...

lol

+1 good post

Opening a sentance with "but" isn't grammartically incorrect, it's just hard to pull off without sounding odd.

Steal_Everything8
2008-12-27, 05:58
This is really old. Look at all the other college stuff that's on snopes if you liked this.

fux0rz
2008-12-27, 06:09
We did something similar to this in my 7th grade reading class. Needless to say after the second paragraph it degraded into descriptions of perverse sexual violence and the like.

SHARP
2008-12-27, 08:21
^^Much like when someone 'round here makes the same experiment...:D

fux0rz
2008-12-27, 08:40
^^Much like when when someone 'round here makes the same experiment...:D

Shelly stepped out of the shower and donned her fluffy pink bath robe. It was the beginning of another ordinary day of her life as far as she was concerned. Blow drying her long golden locks and applying a multitude of facial enhancing make ups she only wished that she could be as pretty as the other girls. Arriving in her room she contemplated which pair of granny panties she would wear today, the nude colored ones with the expendable pouch for her dangling labia she decided after much deliberation. Then all of a sudden...

Lucid Dreamer
2008-12-27, 08:51
Shelly stepped out of the shower and donned her fluffy pink bath robe. It was the beginning of another ordinary day of her life as far as she was concerned. Blow drying her long golden locks and applying a multitude of facial enhancing make ups she only wished that she could be as pretty as the other girls. Arriving in her room she contemplated which pair of granny panties she would wear today, the nude colored ones with the expendable pouch for her dangling labia she decided after much deliberation. Then all of a sudden...

A large african american stepped into her room with a throbbing cock and crazy looking eyes. He was clearly on pcp and in need of a good fuck, shelly screamed but to no avail. Her cry of terror was met with a big black cock in her mouth, she cried and cried and tried to fight but her resistance only made the man harder and thrust faster. She was crying and screaming and just as it seemed the man was about to bust a monster size load into her little white stomach....

rideawalrus
2008-12-27, 09:32
A large african american stepped into her room with a throbbing cock and crazy looking eyes. He was clearly on pcp and in need of a good fuck, shelly screamed but to no avail. Her cry of terror was met with a big black cock in her mouth, she cried and cried and tried to fight but her resistance only made the man harder and thrust faster. She was crying and screaming and just as it seemed the man was about to bust a monster size load into her little white stomach....

the fucking nigger died, the full weight of his body falling onto Shelly and pinning her to the floor flat on her back. The crazy niggers cock was shoved so far down Shelly's throat that she vomited and then asphyxiated on her own vomit. There were now two corpses on Shelly's floor, one white female aged 57 years and one black male aged 24 years. The bodies were discovered six hours later when Shelly's daughter, Jamie, returned home from school. Jamie stood in the doorway of her mother's room in shock, then she........

Lucid Dreamer
2008-12-27, 09:44
the fucking nigger died, the full weight of his body falling onto Shelly and pinning her to the floor flat on her back. The crazy niggers cock was shoved so far down Shelly's throat that she vomited and then asphyxiated on her own vomit. There were now two corpses on Shelly's floor, one white female aged 57 years and one black male aged 24 years. The bodies were discovered six hours later when Shelly's daughter, Jamie, returned home from school. Jamie stood in the doorway of her mother's room in shock, then she........

proceeded to masturbate furiously at the site, she had always had this fantasy and was wetter than a faucet at the site. Being only 11 years old she was a little sexually mature for her age, and her fetish for death was not something most girls her age shared. As she came all over the two bodys she thirsted for more fulfillment of her sick fantasys. She remembered one in particular were she....

KING G
2008-12-27, 10:46
The drug-enranged ape was not dead, he was having a full-body-and-mind hallucination as he was reaching the half-time of the PCP. He grabbed a kitchen knife and began to dissect Shelly like a small animal, the visual distortions made it seem as if he had to kill the devil himself, but in reality, what he was doing was grabbing the flesh from her lungs and eating it like a bucket of Kentuky Fried Chicken, Antron Singleton was later arrested and trialed for his crime, his plead of insanity did not suffice to get him out of a life sentance. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Lurch)

SHARP
2008-12-27, 10:48
Point proven...

fux0rz
2008-12-27, 19:57
Point proven...

I thought it went quite well.

crimsonsmoke
2008-12-27, 20:04
This makes me pleased I'm doing a literature degree :).

SHARP
2008-12-27, 21:16
I thought it went quite well.

:D

This makes me pleased I'm doing a literature degree :).

Let's hope you get a less air headed partner if your professor decides to make an experiment like that, to be honest I can kind of connect with that Jim dude...

TheVizier
2008-12-28, 05:04
This is the essence of totse.

pyro110
2008-12-28, 07:01
fucking hilarious

crimsonsmoke
2008-12-28, 19:27
:D



Let's hope you get a less air headed partner if your professor decides to make an experiment like that, to be honest I can kind of connect with that Jim dude...

Na, that's more on the creative writing side of things - that which I don't indulge in.

Next term (after xmas holidays), I get to study Modernism and the Avant-garde! William Burroughs for the win!

moby_dick
2008-12-28, 19:49
That has successfully activated my funny-gland, causing my laughter node to wobble.