I just bought a hamster at petco, naturally being the sick fuck i am i wanna mess the little guy up bad.... any ideas?

Get a tube or a funnel. spit on the tube to lube it up. Then shove the tube up your ass. Then put the hamster in the tube. Enjoy.

Sick bastard. But, this is BI.

Microwave.
Dissection.
Throw him in around some large, pissed off, starved dogs.
Force him into someone's rectum.
Paint a room with him, as a brush, or impact splatter...or both.
Electrocution.
Feed him a shitload of pills.
Pump him with water until he explodes.
Pump some blood into him. Nasty reaction.
Bonfire, anyone?
Cut off his legs, let a cat play with him.

Cut out its eyes.
Step on it.
Set it on fire.
Stick nails in it one by one until it dies.
Stick one of those mercury thermometers in its ass and break it, causing the mercury to spill out in it's ass.
Stick your finger in its ass and lick whatever comes out. Wait no....
Let your dog or cat eat it.
Feed it to pirahnas. :D
Bury it alive.
Light a candle and pour wax on it. GO FOR THE EYES!!!!
Stick a firecracker in its ass.
Flush it down the toilet. If it clogs it use the plunger.
I'm out of ideas. Sorry if they're all shitty.

Try putting that bitch in a microwave. Always wondered if it was true that they really explode.

Microwave it.

Microwave it, but take regular breaks in between 10 seconds.

Make sure you shave the damn thing first. Nothing smells worse besides burnt flesh and burnt hair.

misrowave it and put it on youtube

Don't torture animals. Torture people.

Don't torture animals. Torture people.



Easier to get caught and you risk prison time.

Tie a pipe bomb to it and throw it in a neighbors backyard.

Feed it regularly, make sure it has plenty to drink, and keep an eye on the little creature.

Feed it regularly, make sure it has plenty to drink, and keep an eye on the little creature.

hahaha i get it.

Feed it regularly, make sure it has plenty to drink, and keep an eye on the little creature.

you sick fuck i hope you fucking experience this someday you demented piece of shit maybe when someone does that shit to you it won't be so funny dickweed. why don't you rot in hell you fucking asshole.

and I though I was fucked up for shooting birds...

Torture people *with* animals, and then put your microwave on Youtube.

Reminds me of the time I bought these "Russian-white-mice" or whatever they were. They were on sale, 3 for 2 bucks. Seriously. I bought nine.

Anyway hamsters get a heart attack pretty easily so don't scare them.

Apart from the methods previously mentioned, I suggest you freeze it. Either it will look cool as the blood expands when it freezes and rips the hamster apart or you can bring it back. Yes, you can be an evil doctor and make it live again. After you have put it in the freezer for some time, take it out and press it's chest with a hot spoon. Out of the 9 mice I bought 1 survived, though I only froze 4.

Instructions here. (http://www.damninteresting.com/?p=867)

let it grow a couple of days if its small..then shave it.get one of those small black hair bands and put it around its neck, until its veins bulge. fill a syringe with bleach and inject it. it should start twitching like crazy and doing flips and shit. then tie it to the back of a fast remote control car and drag it.

Feed it regularly, make sure it has plenty to drink, and keep an eye on the little creature.

can someone explain this to me ?

pics or GTFO

microwave and record it.

You should do one of three things:

1. Become a serial killer, because you already have the pattern behavior of one.

2. Just go out and get in a fist fight and man the fuck up, you shit snorting pussy.

3. Kill yourself.

Put pins in it.

Set fire to it.

Step on it's feet.

Microwave.

Kick it in the face.

Inject heroin.

Eletricute it.

Starve it.

Put it in a CD drive.

Slam it's head in a door.

Hit it with a stick.

Fry it.

Put it in a hot pan with no oil.

Cook it.

Boil it.

Mash it.

Put it in a stew.

Put it's feet in DVD cases then shut them.

Drive over it.

Put it in a toaster.

Saw it.

Put it in a long wrapping paper tube, Seal the holes then pretend it's a rain maker.

Hammer it.

Stick it in your ass.

Piss on it.

Feet it to stuff.

Starve another hamster then before it dies of hunger put it in the same cage as the hamster you hate.

Inject it with other stuff.

Drown it.

Freeze it put don't un freeze it.

Scald it.

Put acid on it.

Berrie it alive.

Blender it.

Eat it.

Drill it.

Nail it to stuff.

Poke it with sharp things.

Poison it.

Wrap it in Plastic.

Feed it glass.

Sell it to a tramp.

Deafen it.

Blind it.

Spray deorent and other airosoles on it.

Piss on it.

Shit on it.

Explode it.

Tie it to a train track.

Put it in a plasma globe.

Sufforcate it.

Bind it.

Cellotape it's Mouth and nose shut.

Pull it's limbs off and shit.

Feed it till it explodes.

Dress it up.

It's not much, but I'm sure it will help. :D

You should do one of three things:

1. Become a serial killer, because you already have the pattern behavior of one.

2. Just go out and get in a fist fight and man the fuck up, you shit snorting pussy.

3. Kill yourself.

I think he should do all 3.

Shoot it out of a potato cannon.

unwrap a clothes hangar (the metal kind) and see how far up its ass it can go

Fuck it to death with your dick

Ask yourself why you feel the need to torture small animals? do you get off on that shit? your a weak ass bitch if you ask me and yea this is the first stages of sociopathic behavior either that or your acting out for whatever reason.. if I were you I'd go to a shrink and tell them how you probably get touched by someone inapropriatly or picked on in school.. faggot

come to my house so i can teach u but don't bring hamster bring yourself

Eat it.

You should do one of three things:

1. Become a serial killer, because you already have the pattern behavior of one.

2. Just go out and get in a fist fight and man the fuck up, you shit snorting pussy.

3. Kill yourself.

This.
I hope you do kill yourself.
I really hope you kill yourself.

Torture something that deserves it. Like a person.

Sick fuck.

come to my house so i can teach u but don't bring hamster bring yourself

This. I LOL'd so hard!:)

misrowave it and put it on youtube

yeah thats the best idea

yeah, your name says it all.