This is not a confession of any sort, just a hypothetically phrased scenario:

Three years ago, SWIM was seriously injured by a worthless, degenerate hack of a professional consultant. The details of the affiliation are irrelevant, but the consultant is referenced as Captain Faggot from here on.

Shortly after shit went down between SWIM and Captain Faggot three years ago, SWIM discussed the issue with a counselor, and made careless back-handed statements about how he wanted to kill Captain Faggot, i.e., "I just want to kill that fucking asshole." The statements were mere expressions of anger and not meant to be interpreted as real threats to carry out such an act. But the mental health professionals, being what they are, reported the remarks out of context, and Captain Faggot recieved a "duty to warn" notice that SWIM had threatened to kill him. Fortunately, no further action was taken by either party, and the matter more or less died.

Fast forward three years. SWIM is still really, really, really pissed off about what happened, and wanted to get a liitle revenge just for kicks. So one night recently, he drove by Captain Faggot's office in the middle of the night and chucked a rock through his front window. Nothing more, nothing less. Just a well placed, and very much deserved rock through the front window. He hurried off immediately after the act and was never spotted.

In the morning, SWIM had the foolish sense to return to the office to see what had become of the scene. Nobody had spotted SWIM's car before, and Captain Faggot does not know what kind of car SWIM drives, so SWIM figured there was no danger in driving by.

But SWIM showed up at precisely the worst possible moment, just as Captain Faggot and a police officer were standing outside the building admiring the hole in the window. SWIM tried to avoid making eye contact with Captain Faggot as he drove by, but it appeared that Captain Faggot did notice SWIM, although he wasn't certain at the time. SWIM turned around and exited the parking lot the way he came in as inconspicuously as possible.

Then, just as SWIM was pulling out of the parking lot, he noticed a cop car coming up behind him. FUCK. The unit followed him for about half a mile and then pulled him over. The officer informed SWIM that he pulled him over for two reasons: 1) he had a brakelight out, and, 2) his entrance and exit from the parking lot was suspicious. SWIM told the officer that he just entered the parking lot to turn around and head back in the other dirction. He was nervous as fuck but tried to be as cool possible. The police officer discussed why SWIM's activity in the parking lot was suspicious, i.e. because he drove all the way to the end of the lot to turn around, rather than just turning around near the entrance. SWIM replied that he didn't understand why the nuances of how he turned around in the parking lot were of any consequence. The officer told SWIM about the broken window, then asked SWIM where he was coming from. In a bit of a nervous outbreak, SWIM barked "I'm not answering that or any more quesitons until I know what's going on." SWIM then realized that he sounds paranoid, apologized, and explained that he was coming from the nearby community college campus, and that he was heading back to the same place to pick up some belongings that he left behind.

The officer then informed SWIM that he knew that SWIM was a former client of the establishment in question. Completely caught off gaurd and scared shitless, SWIM paused, didn't know what the hell to say, and after a brief silencee, replied: "Oh..... you know that?" Then the officer asked SWIM if he has some kind of problem with the place. Swim calmly replied: "I'm not discussing my relationship with them."

The officer made a bunch of fucking faces indicating that he knew that SWIM wasguilty, but released him, saying, "Well, you're free to go, for now. Get that brake light fixed."

So now it appears that both Captain Faggot and the police are aware that SWIM is the culprit. It's simply a matter of them taking action and proving him guilty.

MY question is, just how much shit is SWIM in here, and how should he proceed in such a scenario?

I doubt anything will happen. They can't actually prove you did it, and it's not like they're going to do a huge investigation over vandalism. I recomend getting an alibi for the night that happened though, just incase.

SWIM, you realise that you are very foolish, dont you? many criminals have been caught simply because they couldnt resist cheaking out the results of their handy-work. you should feel ashamed for not being able to control your pride. no matter, nothing will happen, just make sure you dont actualy kill captain for a while, otherwise you will be high on the suspect list.

sorry SWIM doesn't have much experience at shit like this

It doesn't sound like they have enough evidence to charge you with anything...just in case I'd come up with a story to explain why you drove through the parking lot.

You threw a rock through someone's window, did you really have to go back and admire your work?

SWIM, you realise that you are very foolish, dont you? many criminals have been caught simply because they couldnt resist cheaking out the results of their handy-work. you should feel ashamed for not being able to control your pride. no matter, nothing will happen, just make sure you dont actualy kill captain for a while, otherwise you will be high on the suspect list.

Wow. A new arrival that seems intelligent! You go New Arrival! As for swim, I'd recommend an alibi that puts him very far away from the scene for about 24 hours prior to his getting pulled over. Keep it close to what happened, but don't leave a single minute unaccounted for.

I enjoy SWIMming.


Also, obtain alibi

If the glove don't fit you must acquit.

throw a brick through your own window to throw them off the trail.

seriously though get an aliby and i dont suppose your prints are on that rock.

throw a brick through your own window to throw them off the trail.



Great Idea! Do it...DO IT!

i dont suppose your prints are on that rock.
Even if he is dumb enough to not use gloves rocks generally don't hold fingerprints very well due to their rough surface.

Don't be a bitch. Just throw another rock through the window after its replaced. This time don't drive by the next day.

Even if he is dumb enough to not use gloves rocks generally don't hold fingerprints very well due to their rough surface.

He was probably being sarcastic, however he could have chucked a polished piece of marble or a polished river rock.