Im a 19 year old male undergrad and only got laid once this calender year

It was in January, too... and a one night stand.

Reading around here, the internet in general, PUA ebooks, just being generally socially knowledgeable, talking to girls I know - I seem to have a lotta factors in my favor attraction-wise:

- A male, muscular physique, 5'9'' 175-180lbs; overall V shape and a little bit of the pelvic V and very strong abs, but normal body fat which makes these very apparent in certain light and not so much other times. I powerlift, so my muscles are big and hard, but are functional and not bloated like a bodybuilder. I aim to be strong, not a model - but more apparent muscles inevitable. Also, I dont use straps or gloves so I have rough, strong hands. Although Im really into lifting weights, it's just a hobby, 3days a week - I dont want to be or look compulsive about it.

- I eat healthy and love to cook, but dont obsess over what I eat - any more (lost major poundage about 2 years ago)

- Im bearded, into the outdoors and dress accordingly

- Short, very soft hair - girls always freak out when they touch it ("it's so soft!!")

- Clear blue eyes, also complimented on by girls (young & old)

- Im not dumb - grades, hobbies, conversation all prove this


Now I dont mean this to be bragging or e-cock measuring, but it seems that I have lots of things girls look for, at least according to totse. Ive gotten with a fair amount of girls, some very pretty, but girls dont seem to throw themselves at me. To my credit, I hooked up with the most and the prettiest girls yet this year. I also know that I suffer from chronic "I think I can do better than her" syndrome. Ive stunned my friends by losing interest in at least 3 pretty girls who clearly liked me, but did not have much in common (girly girly types vs me-mountainman; flaming liberals vs me-ranting libertarian). I guess that since I hold myself to high standards, I have really high standards for the girls Im interested in dating.

I also have a major contradiction, I really interested and invested in my health but I smoke pot and drink beer pretty much daily. Pot absolutely destroys me socially - I get really quiet - but it's my primary social activity with my buddies and I just love doing it. I drink a lot of beer, I dont think that's an issue though - I never get violent, blackout-drunk or insulting and I dont even get drunk that often, I just drink a few beers often/nightly.

So totse, Im not sure what Im doing wrong in terms of getting a girl friend. I could have fucked a few girls this year, but aborted each time because I didnt feel like dealing with the drama that would come with my lack in interest. I know for sure that the answer cant be found online and that I need to get out and meet people... but Im home on vacation and spending much more time that usual here on Totse.

Anyone got any advice? Or just want to flame?

You sound like you know what the problem is, so there really isn't much anyone here can do for you. Change doesn't come from outside of yourself, it comes from within. If you want your life to be different...well you seem to know what changes need to be made, and have the tools to change them.

you're putting too much thought into this..

you're putting too much thought into this..

I feel that this is my exact problem - overthinking - but how the fuck can I fix it? That's what gets me.

mh.. i don't know. when i was younger, like 16 or so i'd do the same as you and i eventually just grew out of it :/

you can sit here and make these lists about what you've got goin on all day, and there will always be girls that will like you and girls that wont.. doesnt matter whats on the list, some bitch will like it.. just give it time, they'll come around.. no point in thinking like this. it's unattractive, to me..

I'm kinda in the same banana boat as you. Except I had sex less than 5 times with two different girls one was in January and one was in July.

My main problem is that I have no interest in going out to meet girls. I usually just meet them when I'm drunk at a party. I smoke pot every day and it does the same thing to me as it does to you and I even get a little paranoid. Lately, I have been drinking a lot more and taking benzos/opiates/sleeping pills.

I took my last toke on saturday along with some loritabs and drank some beers. I realized I am sliding down the slippery slope of addiction/depression. Now, I'm waiting for Rehab to call me to let me know when they have a bed ready for me.

It is going to be at least 1.5 if not 2 months before I get out. I want to change my life for the better because I know how much potential I have. So far I haven't done anything to help myself. I am just damaging my mind and spirit with my depression/addiction to any substance that alters my perception.

I have been stealing pills from family members and I broke down, had some type of anxiety/panic attack, and said I need to go to rehab.

I am sure this will fix my problem with girls. Rehab may not be necessary for you, but I believe if you quit smoking pot you will at least get more bitches*.

I am aiming to become the happy-go-lucky personality I once was.


*When I say bitches I mean it in the non-derogitory form, I love you ladies.

I believe if you quit smoking pot you will at least get more bitches.


i disagree. the vast majority of people i know, smoke pot.. i don't think this will make a difference. more girls are probably put off by cigarette smoking than by pot smoking, yet everyone i know smokes cigarettes too and i don't see them having any problems getting girls..

Let me tell you a joke (being German I tell you it is a joke before hand so you vill know to be making ze laffings, ja?)

Fred: "My sex life is great! I got laid twice this year."

Joe: " That's great???! You only got laid twice in a whole 12 months?! I got laid hundreds of times"

Fred: "Yeah but you're not a catholic priest with a small parish"

That was the punch line btw.

It's also my way of saying it'll be your attitude that sucks not anything about you physically (assuming you ain't ginger and you wash at least once a month). And you can start by working on your attitude that only having sex once in a year is in anyway bad.

Let me tell you a joke (being German I tell you it is a joke before hand so you vill know to be making ze laffings, ja?)

Fred: "My sex life is great! I got laid twice this year."

Joe: " That's great???! You only got laid twice in a whole 12 months?! I got laid hundreds of times"

Fred: "Yeah but you're not a catholic priest with a small parish"

That was the punch line btw.

It's also my way of saying it'll be your attitude that sucks not anything about you physically (assuming you ain't ginger and you wash at least once a month). And you can start by working on your attitude that only having sex once in a year is in anyway bad.

LOL the sad thing is that I'm going to a catholic powered all male rehab :(

@kristin- It's not just the simple fact that I smoke marijuana that puts girls off, its the fact that I am so awkward and creepy when I'm high they never get to meet the real Jono. Banana boat said he gets quiet when he smokes so I would have to say that is a contributing factor. Not saying it is the devil, just saying it affects everyone differently.

I am so awkward and creepy when I'm high

lol, creepy? maybe you shouldn't smoke :P

i get really quiet when i smoke too, so yeah i see what you're saying... but don't quit smoking weed, just don't smoke it around new girls. just drink around them. or do uppers.

lol, creepy? maybe you shouldn't smoke :P

i get really quiet when i smoke too, so yeah i see what you're saying... but don't quit smoking weed, just don't smoke it around new girls. just drink around them. or do uppers.

I like the advice, but alcoholism runs strong on both sides of my family. I don't want to rely on being buzzed to pick up chicks. Uppers are a great tool, however I don't have access to them and I think they are very risky in terms of addiction potential.

I can't control how much weed I smoke. God forbid I get addicted to meth or perscription amphetamines for that matter ;)

I like the advice, but alcoholism runs strong on both sides of my family. I don't want to rely on being buzzed to pick up chicks. Uppers are a great tool, however I don't have access to them and I think they are very risky in terms of addiction potential.

I can't control how much weed I smoke. God forbid I get addicted to meth or perscription amphetamines for that matter ;)

mh I don't rely on alcohol and drugs but it makes it funner :/

mh I don't rely on alcohol and drugs but it makes it funner :/

Well, thats why I'm going to rehab and you aren't. I do agree it is fun, but I need to get my shit together. I'm 20 and I dropped out of college a year ago. Life has delt me many blows(pun), but since things have been quiet lately I have no one to blame but myself for how I turned out.

let's see.. i'm 23 and i dropped out of high school, and then two different colleges.. i'm not stupid i just don't seem to care about much of anything.. i recently started getting that "need to get my shit together" feeling and so, now i'm in the army. it fucking sucks but i gotta say it was a good choice.

i really wanna do drugs though.. i'd never go to rehab

- Im bearded


This is your problem, srsly.

I lost my virginity in 08.

:(

I feel that this is my exact problem - overthinking - but how the fuck can I fix it? That's what gets me.

Stop thinking about it. It shouldn't get you, because you shouldn't think about it.

so, now i'm in the army. .. i'd never go to rehab

lol this is where you and I are different. I would go to rehab, but I would never join the army especially now that we are involved in 2 seperate wars.

At least you did something to benefit yourself. The army isn't THAT bad, I just never want to get shot at. What are you going for in the Army?

lol this is where you and I are different. I would go to rehab, but I would never join the army especially now that we are involved in 2 seperate wars.

At least you did something to benefit yourself. The army isn't THAT bad, I just never want to get shot at. What are you going for in the Army?

yeah i'm just hoping i won't see any combat or IEDs.. i'm scared to deploy, but oh well.

i'm supply

I lost my virginity in 08.

:(I was going to post inb4cheech.

Your looking for that magic answer that gives you an epiphany and miraculously, you change with no work whatsoever. I hate to break it to you, but it's not out there. You're going to have to make sacrifices if it's that important to you, and it sounds like marijuana is whats causing this particular problem.

As to your high standards, good for you. You don't have to adhere to the standards of your friends or feel pressured into hooking up with dumb bitches, cause it sounds like your looking for that special someone who you can have a real mental connection with.

Dude, you figured out your problems, just fix 'em.

this is the thing. weed destroys you guys socially.
a chick will wonder why the fuck do you have a group of 'friends' that all you do is get high with.
Is that even fucking friendship since you guys veg out? or is so you all don't feel like fucking losers when you do it alone? thats fucking worrisome to any chick.
she doesn't want to watch you veg out. she'll start wondering why the fuck its such a necessity, sinc eall you are is becoming incapacitated.
I don't mind if a guy fucking smokes weed once in a while, but if it's regular, and you waste all your money on that shit - all a girl is going to see is a guy that can't quit, that depends on it. that you could be using your money better, your time better.

"I guess that since I hold myself to high standards, I have really high standards for the girls Im interested in dating."

Is that a bad thing? I don't think "yes" or "no" are enough for that question.

Be possessed, or be free? to be or not to be.

Personally, when it comes between choosing to get my dick sucked every night, and having the freedom to think, say, and do what I want, whenever I want, wherever I want, I'd honestly rather not get as much pussy and have complete freedom.

You just underestimate freedom. It's only when you go to the depths of human understanding, your own logic and reasoning, to a deeper place within yourself that you haven't been to since you were 5, that you get even a taste of real freedom.

Sex is like everything else in this universe: You want it so bad, more than anything, and then once you get it, you get bored and don't care anymore. Then what most people do is attach a ring to it, so that they can sometimes return to escaping the pain of being alone. Escape, cover up, whatever. So you got fucked once. Who cares. Call a hooker. Want a girlfriend? Go be their little bitch. Or stop giving a damn and keep doing whatever the FUCK you want like a MAN and when the 1% of females that are actually respectful of the things a man must do to keep himself happy finds you, hey man, you might just fall in love.

I wouldn't have any kids though. The world seems pretty fucked in the long run.

I reckon I've had sex 350-400 times this year.. multiple times per day at times to make up for lost sex during 'that time of the month'.

Long term girlfriend ftw :D

I reckon I've had sex 350-400 times this year.. multiple times per day at times to make up for lost sex during 'that time of the month'.

Long term girlfriend ftw :D

yeah, fuck you.

- A male, muscular physique, 5'9'' 175-180lbs; overall V shape and a little bit of the pelvic V and very strong abs, but normal body fat which makes these very apparent in certain light and not so much other times. I powerlift, so my muscles are big and hard, but are functional and not bloated like a bodybuilder. I aim to be strong, not a model - but more apparent muscles inevitable. Also, I dont use straps or gloves so I have rough, strong hands. Although Im really into lifting weights, it's just a hobby, 3days a week - I dont want to be or look compulsive about it.



You may have all of this posted above, but do you actually talk to girls and try and make conversation with them? Women perhaps are intimidated by your looks like guys are to really good looking women they think are above there league.

Part of me wants to find a chick that smokes just so we can do it together and she'll be more understanding about how often I do it. Another part of me wants to find a clean chick who will help me enjoy my life doing things normal people do for fun, I just feel like she'd never get past the whole me-getting-high-every-day. Yet I don't want an anti-drug girlfriend. I still enjoy the occasional psychedelic and might want to blaze on a weekend when I'm out.

I tried the latter, short story: I regret it/ don't do it. At least find a girl who doesn't smoke but is cool with it.

Now I dont mean this to be bragging or e-cock measuring, but it seems that I have lots of things girls look for, at least according to totse.

Well there's your problem.

Well there's your problem.



http://www.bgassociates.com/images/GMDC%20TOUCHE.jpg

this is the thing. weed destroys you guys socially.
a chick will wonder why the fuck do you have a group of 'friends' that all you do is get high with.
Is that even fucking friendship since you guys veg out? or is so you all don't feel like fucking losers when you do it alone? thats fucking worrisome to any chick.
she doesn't want to watch you veg out. she'll start wondering why the fuck its such a necessity, sinc eall you are is becoming incapacitated.
I don't mind if a guy fucking smokes weed once in a while, but if it's regular, and you waste all your money on that shit - all a girl is going to see is a guy that can't quit, that depends on it. that you could be using your money better, your time better.

QFT. I learned this the hard way.

Do something productive and someone productive will do you. <I just made that up off of the top of my head.

Do something productive and someone productive will do you. <I just made that up off of the top of my head.

It shows.

It shows.

ow that burns...

but if you think about it, it is true. Do nothing all day, no one has anything to talk to you about. Do something you are passionate about, you might find someone who is just as passionate about that same thing and that could be a bonding point.

lower your standards. If you wanna have a lot of sex, you gotta screw some ugly girls. Or at least average. It'll allow you to "build up your skills" and work out the kinks (no pun intended) in your "routine" or whatever those PUA mothafuckas call it nowadays.

6 times, five different girls. Had a hand job from another three girls as well. I need more regular sex.

Oh wait, I didn't realize this was a post your number.

Grow your hair out, maybe you'll look like jesus.

Didn't get laid once in '08. Fooled around with a few girls and got a little head. Fucking weak, man...

Because it's New Year's Eve, I remember a forgotten sexual act that I did receive in 2008 - about 2 hours into the year.

I was at a New Year's party December 31st, 2007. Several girls attended who I had known for a long time and was on friend status with, but three of them were flirting with me - a lot.

I got very hammered. I probably smoked some weed too.

Everyone started to go to bed/pass out/wander off with a member of the opposite sex around -- dont really remember what time it was, but lets say 2am.

I was talking to a very good female friend of mine, flirting actually, even though I had no real interest in her sexually.

Sometime later I was in the dark, hooking up with a girl. Started getting a hand job from her. I started laughing at this point, because I was so drunk I had forgotten who I was getting the hand job from!!!

I just had to ask, so I did.

"Come on... you're joking. You know who this is!" was the answer I got.

I had three possible answers.

I went out on a limb and took a guess.

"Of course, silly" -- I guessed right. It was one of the two girls who I hadnt talked to since earlier. Not sure how we ended up doing what we did, but hell, it was January 1st 2008.

Handjob continued.

????
????

Jizzed on her without warning

Passed out on a pool table

=

WIN

^
hahahahahahahahaha
wow. you're actually my hero now.
and i don't mean that in the 'i look up to you' way, because i'm a chick, and i don't agree with that shit.. bla bla.
but that's fucking hilarious.

"I guess that since I hold myself to high standards, I have really high standards for the girls Im interested in dating."

Is that a bad thing? I don't think "yes" or "no" are enough for that question.

Be possessed, or be free? to be or not to be.

Personally, when it comes between choosing to get my dick sucked every night, and having the freedom to think, say, and do what I want, whenever I want, wherever I want, I'd honestly rather not get as much pussy and have complete freedom.

You just underestimate freedom. It's only when you go to the depths of human understanding, your own logic and reasoning, to a deeper place within yourself that you haven't been to since you were 5, that you get even a taste of real freedom.

Sex is like everything else in this universe: You want it so bad, more than anything, and then once you get it, you get bored and don't care anymore. Then what most people do is attach a ring to it, so that they can sometimes return to escaping the pain of being alone. Escape, cover up, whatever. So you got fucked once. Who cares. Call a hooker. Want a girlfriend? Go be their little bitch. Or stop giving a damn and keep doing whatever the FUCK you want like a MAN and when the 1% of females that are actually respectful of the things a man must do to keep himself happy finds you, hey man, you might just fall in love.

I wouldn't have any kids though. The world seems pretty fucked in the long run.

Good post, you've made me think about shit now.

Good post, you've made me think about shit now.

Same here.

Im bearded, into the outdoors and dress accordingly


whuhaha, sounds very manly.
I think your too aware of how you look, and how great you apparently are
I think, your an ego tripper without justification. I think girls think this too