Your bf/gf never said "I love you" in front of family or friends, or basically in public?

She just WON'T. I mean...ugh. It's like she's ashamed to say it or something. I mean, I'm not saying we should have a 10 minute love fest being like "GoochiegoochiegooIluuvvvvyouuuu!" and nauseating crap like that, but I say that I love her in front of anyone, and its a pretty shitty feeling saying on the phone "Bye, I love you!" and getting "Bye." back.

She has said that her family "Is uncomfortable" when they hear me say "I love you" to her, or hearing her say it to me. wtf?? I'm not some creep, I've been going out with their daughter for a while now. I don't say it in a creepy way or a mushy way or a sexual way or anything. If anything, I think they'd be happy that their daughter has someone who loves her.

Your thoughts?

First off, how old are you? In my response, I'm going to guess still in highschool, between 15 and 18. Some people give more meaning to the words "I love you" than others. You might be able to say it everywhere because you've grown up in a world where your parents and others around you say it all the time. If she's saying that it's awkward around her family, then that's probably the truth. I have that same kind of situation around my family. Don't sweat it. As time goes on and you two get even closer, eventually she'll become more relaxed about it. Just be glad that she says it at all. And for you, don't say it too much. It goes from kind and affectionate to weird and creepy in the blink of an eye. You don't want to end up like Nick from Freaks and Geeks.

I could understand initially if she was embarassed in front of family.. hell, my boyfriend is like that. But he still says it in public and wants to be close to me.

If he didn't want to tell me EVER then I'd be suspicious.. and really hurt.

First off, how old are you? In my response, I'm going to guess still in highschool, between 15 and 18. Some people give more meaning to the words "I love you" than others. You might be able to say it everywhere because you've grown up in a world where your parents and others around you say it all the time. If she's saying that it's awkward around her family, then that's probably the truth. I have that same kind of situation around my family. Don't sweat it. As time goes on and you two get even closer, eventually she'll become more relaxed about it. Just be glad that she says it at all. And for you, don't say it too much. It goes from kind and affectionate to weird and creepy in the blink of an eye. You don't want to end up like Nick from Freaks and Geeks.

We're a little older. Honestly, we're not around her family THAT much, so I guess I could just put up with it, but it just bothers the hell out of me. And we are very close, we've been going out for a long time. I think its just ridiculous for people to get "uncomfortable" over something that doesn't have that much to do with you...it seems like being "Its against my religion for those other people to practice their religion" or something, which is obviously bullshit.

I'm not saying we should have a 10 minute love fest being like "GoochiegoochiegooIluuvvvvyouuuu!" and nauseating crap like that,

Ugh I get that all the time with the youngest and his bint....and it doesn't just last 10 minutes I can tell you!

ILUBYOULOTSANDLOTSIESJUSTLIKEJELLYTOTSIES

*reaches for the bucket*

Ugh I get that all the time with the youngest and his bint....and it doesn't just last 10 minutes I can tell you!

ILUBYOULOTSANDLOTSIESJUSTLIKEJELLYTOTSIES

*reaches for the bucket*

Haha. But I don't want that. A simple "I love you" would suffice, instead of a "bye". Is that unreasonable? I can see the other thing driving a parent nuts, but who finds "I love you" uncomfortable?

Haha. But I don't want that. A simple "I love you" would suffice, instead of a "bye". Is that unreasonable? I can see the other thing driving a parent nuts, but who finds "I love you" uncomfortable?

Do you know she loves you? Does she say it in other situations?

If so, I would just chart her more reserved behavior in her home to a kind of cultural difference. My family is also like that, and most relationship-affection of that sort just isn't exhibited here- either between my parents, my brother and his long-term gf, or me and the guys I've been with.

I will be more unguarded in other situations, but in a family environment it can sometimes feel forced and awkward. It doesn't mean my feelings are less, it's just how I was raised. On the flip side, guys' parents always wonder why I seem so reserved and quiet.

Maybe in that kind of situation you can try and wait til you have a more private moment with her, so you're not "setting yourself up for disappointment."

Do you know she loves you? Does she say it in other situations?

If so, I would just chart her more reserved behavior in her home to a kind of cultural difference. My family is also like that, and most relationship-affection of that sort just isn't exhibited here- either between my parents, my brother and his long-term gf, or me and the guys I've been with.

I will be more unguarded in other situations, but in a family environment it can sometimes feel forced and awkward. It doesn't mean my feelings are less, it's just how I was raised. On the flip side, guys' parents always wonder why I seem so reserved and quiet.

Maybe in that kind of situation you can try and wait til you have a more private moment with her, so you're not "setting yourself up for disappointment."

Yeah, she says it when we're alone...but it still makes me feel like I'm a dirty little secret of hers or something.

Yeah, she says it when we're alone...but it still makes me feel like I'm a dirty little secret of hers or something.

It's tough, but then it seems in that case it'd be best to just work on your perspective of it: I'd bet her dirty little secret is having/expressing emotions, not you.

I would actually be quite embarassed to get lovey dovey in front of my parents or family.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost three years and we still don't really say "I love you" in front of people. It seems like a private kind of sentiment, not something that everyone around you needs to hear. He'll say it in front of his friends, and I mine, on occasion, but very, very rarely in the presence of family or other people. Like I said, it seems like a kind of private moment, not something I'd like to have people intruding on. If I were you I wouldn't be worried if she still expresses affection towards you in public settings, but is just not comfortable with the L-word; it's probably more shyness than anything.

I don't say I love you to my boyfriend in front of my mom.. or hold hands with him or kiss him in front of her either.. in front of my sister and brother I will, reservedly.. but then again nobody in my family says I love you to each other.. my mom will sometimes but I don't really say it back :/ I just feel weird.

When me and my boyfriend are alone or just around mutual friends, I lay on the lovey doveyness pretty thick.

She might feel that saying it in public is too personal or that you might not reciprocate back.

Well I would understand kissing or whatever, but this is just three simple words. But yeah, I'm getting the message from this thread...that it's not as bad a thing as I thought I guess. Thanks.

She might feel that saying it in public is too personal or that you might not reciprocate back.

you used a big word, have a cookie.

unfortunately, you need to learn to fucking read.

Your bf/gf never said "I love you" in front of family or friends, or basically in public?

She just WON'T. I mean...ugh. It's like she's ashamed to say it or something. I mean, I'm not saying we should have a 10 minute love fest being like "GoochiegoochiegooIluuvvvvyouuuu!" and nauseating crap like that, but I say that I love her in front of anyone, and its a pretty shitty feeling saying on the phone "Bye, I love you!" and getting "Bye." back.

She has said that her family "Is uncomfortable" when they hear me say "I love you" to her, or hearing her say it to me. wtf?? I'm not some creep, I've been going out with their daughter for a while now. I don't say it in a creepy way or a mushy way or a sexual way or anything. If anything, I think they'd be happy that their daughter has someone who loves her.

Your thoughts?



Not to be an asshole, but you sound like a little bitch.

Just never say it to her at all. Sulk about it and ignore her. Girls love that shit.

I don't think it's that much to worry about, man. She could just be shy about it?

I know it took me ages to be able to say it comfortably to my girlfriend. And even then it was just saying a casual "Love you."

Some people are like that, and I really doubt she doesn't love you. So yeah, not something to really worry about.

My girl does the same when shes on the phone in her house around her family or people. I just say "bye" also if i know it's coming.

I've been with my boyfriend for bloody ever, and he still won't say it to me AT ALL. He said it a few times, now he's gone back to the "I really care about you" bullshit. Fuck that, I'm just assuming he didn't mean it when he said it. Douchebag. I completely understand not wanting to say it in front of family and friends and stuff, though.