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View Full Version : Seducing a 'sheltered' chick


Xpenguin17
2008-12-31, 20:25
Aight, so there's this chick from a yuppy family upstairs that I got to know a couple months ago, but her parents are the stereotypical mormons that try to keep her locked up all day, and take a guess: fucking despise me. Normally, I don't get involved in the whole "remedy the controlling freak show" bullshit as I end up gettin' too attached, but this gal's a real doll and I just HAVE to get to know her better. And to do that, I gotta keep cool with her parents.
So far, I failed to get myself invited for Christmas, so I'm lookin' to get invited today for New Year's. So I'm thinkin' I gotta lose a couple edges if I wanna gain their respect.

Now, can anyone here who had/knows mormon parents gimme any input into what they like to see in a guy that they'd let their daughter hang with him? How can I appear more presentable? So far I got a clean T-shirt on and gonna comb my hair back. But they ain't too impressed that I'm unemployed, 18 and still Grade 9, but yo, the economy's cannucked and I got virtually no support from either one of my parents so... whats a guy to do?
Maybe I could talk about my plans of entering college, pursuing my interest in computer graphics? Ya think they'd be impressed by that? They like a dude who's got goals, right?

What else?

P.S. Happy 2009 mofos, let's hope it won't suck as bad as this year did.

durban poison
2008-12-31, 20:28
18 and in grade 9? how the fuck does that work when i was 18 i was in second year university, regardless tell us more about the chick age school interests friends whatever u know

ZeroMalarki
2008-12-31, 20:34
18 and in grade 9? how the fuck does that work when i was 18 i was in second year university, regardless tell us more about the chick age school interests friends whatever u know

2nd year univeristy? You'd be 19-20 in the UK for second year.

ObsdianZ
2008-12-31, 20:43
You're not morman.

You will never win them over.


*ObZ

Johnathon_Doerty
2008-12-31, 21:06
Become Morman!

-JD

electric_wizard
2008-12-31, 21:32
lol, dude...Thank you for putting my life into perspective. I may be unemployed, but I'm not still in grade 9.

Emperor
2008-12-31, 21:53
at my high school, if you were 18 and still in 9th grade you'd have no luck graduating. you could only stay in school til you were 21.

fail.

SomeLowLife
2008-12-31, 22:01
Win them over with a hot cup of coffee.

pink smoke
2008-12-31, 22:24
Win them over with a hot cup of coffee.

With an extra espresso shot, and don't forget to throw in a few cuss words.

But seriously, are they really devout Mormons? Does she wear those special underwear, and abstain from caffeine? I know a girl who's Mormon, but her family is very lax and she pretty much breaks most of the rules.

If she really is devout, then you might not have much of a chance if you're not Mormon as well. Maybe you could look up the "rules" and pretend?

Byss
2008-12-31, 23:00
Does she wear those special underwear...

She's not married in the church yet, why would she be wearing that?

But for the OP, you would have to convert for devout Mormons to trust you with their daughter. You would also have to get a job. I'd suggest the military. Have a nice day.

Aquabania
2008-12-31, 23:21
mormons are the biggest fucking retards in the world, i'd rather fuck a special ed vegetable than a mormon.

LSA King
2008-12-31, 23:49
You're not morman.

You will never win them over.


*ObZ



This. In all honesty.

Cinquain
2009-01-01, 00:12
I had an extremely strict Mormon upbringing and it's basically what everyone has said - you're not Mormon so as far as winning over her parents goes you almost have no luck. I have never dated anyone of that religion and my Mom has always frowned upon any guy I've been with and would try to get me interested in other Mormon guys. Really, it doesn't matter what you say or do, you're not of the same faith as them so [in most cases and all that I've seen] you're not good enough.

How old is she? Do her parents not let her leave the house at all? Do you have the slightest hint how she feels about you? If she likes you enough to maybe talk to her parents about letting up on the rules a bit, that may work but I wouldn't drive yourself crazy trying to get on her parents' good side because I'm sorry to say it most likely won't happen.

Affect
2009-01-01, 00:47
Aight, so there's this chick from a yuppy family upstairs that I got to know a couple months ago, but her parents are the stereotypical mormons that try to keep her locked up all day, and take a guess: fucking despise me. Normally, I don't get involved in the whole "remedy the controlling freak show" bullshit as I end up gettin' too attached, but this gal's a real doll and I just HAVE to get to know her better. And to do that, I gotta keep cool with her parents.
So far, I failed to get myself invited for Christmas, so I'm lookin' to get invited today for New Year's. So I'm thinkin' I gotta lose a couple edges if I wanna gain their respect.

Now, can anyone here who had/knows mormon parents gimme any input into what they like to see in a guy that they'd let their daughter hang with him? How can I appear more presentable? So far I got a clean T-shirt on and gonna comb my hair back. But they ain't too impressed that I'm unemployed, 18 and still Grade 9, but yo, the economy's cannucked and I got virtually no support from either one of my parents so... whats a guy to do?
Maybe I could talk about my plans of entering college, pursuing my interest in computer graphics? Ya think they'd be impressed by that? They like a dude who's got goals, right?

What else?

P.S. Happy 2009 mofos, let's hope it won't suck as bad as this year did.

Act respectfully. Be nice and personable. At ease with yourself and them. Try to stay away from bringing up the school or job thing.

Malkog
2009-01-01, 00:59
Perform voodoo magic in their living room. I'm not talking voodoo doll bullshit, you've got the sacrifice a goat and drink it's blood man. And as you pass the goat's dick to her father you'll feel the permanent bond that has been created between the two of you.

Sentinel
2009-01-01, 03:31
Lie.

Anarchist88
2009-01-01, 04:17
Perform voodoo magic in their living room. I'm not talking voodoo doll bullshit, you've got the sacrifice a goat and drink it's blood man.

i loled so fucking hard :D

rideawalrus
2009-01-01, 04:26
Step one: Get a bike, a white button up shirt, a black tie, and a Mormon bible.
Step two: Go to their house, knock on their door, and offer them the Mormon bible.
Step three: ?????
Step four: Profit!!!!!!

Volcanbaru
2009-01-01, 06:12
Step one: Get a bike, a white button up shirt, a black tie, and a Mormon bible.
Step two: Go to their house, knock on their door, and offer them the Mormon bible.
Step three: ?????
Step four: Profit!!!!!!
This.


Just make sure to know all kind of bullshit about mormon.(rules, traditions etc etc)

Joshuasan
2009-01-02, 02:13
You're not morman.

You will never win them over.


*ObZ

this

Mormons are fucking stupid as shit

Black Territory
2009-01-02, 03:27
rape is about your only chance

Machoman411
2009-01-02, 03:31
How the hell are you 18 and in grade 9? /facepalm

Anyway, I highly doubt they'll let you near her.

However, girls who are sheltered are often dying to do something crazy like run off with an 18 year old ninth grader for wild kinky sex.

Take it for what you will.

ComradeAsh
2009-01-02, 06:08
Don'tdoitDon'tdoitDon'tdoitDon'tdoitDon'tdoitDon't doitDon'tdoitDon'tdoitDon'tdoitDon'tdoitDon'tdoitD on'tdoitDon'tdoitDon'tdoitDon'tdoitDon'tdoitDon'td oitDon'tdoitDon'tdoitDon'tdoitDon'tdoitDon'tdoitDo n'tdoitDon'tdoitDon'tdoitDon'tdoitDon'tdoitDon'tdo itDon'tdoitDon'tdoitDon'tdoitDon'tdoitDon'tdoitDon 'tdoitDon'tdoitDon'tdoitDon'tdoitDon'tdoitDon'tdoi tDon'tdoitDon'tdoit


We know a guy that did that, we laughed at him so fucking hard. And he didn't get any either.

After like a year, too!

Xpenguin17
2009-01-03, 23:03
Ok dudes, I can partly call success since they let me in after she begged them to invite me. The yuppy New year's jabberin' of those mor[m]on critters was nauseating but it was worth it. (She looked damn cute in her snowflake-lookin' dress.) Also, I can't believe it, but I actually was having a conversation with her fat fucker dad. (I was able to join the conversation and add light, you believe that shit?!) It didn't help my image much and they still think I'm trash but at least now he probably won't be runnin at me with a baseball bat after his daughter and I turn my room into a pussy palace night.

How old is she? Do her parents not let her leave the house at all? Do you have the slightest hint how she feels about you? If she likes you enough to maybe talk to her parents about letting up on the rules a bit, that may work but I wouldn't drive yourself crazy trying to get on her parents' good side because I'm sorry to say it most likely won't happen.

She's 15, and yeah they let her outta the house but nowhere without them knowing about it. She's not a good liar and her parents easily tell if she bullshits them. Plus she's gotta be home by about 6:00.

Step one: Get a bike, a white button up shirt, a black tie, and a Mormon bible.
Step two: Go to their house, knock on their door, and offer them the Mormon bible.
Step three: ?????
Step four: Profit!!!!!!

Damn, I dropped the tie, but steps 2-4 would be trying way too fuckin hard. I don't even know where to get a Mormon bible...

mormons are the biggest fucking retards in the world, i'd rather fuck a special ed vegetable than a mormon.

She ain't a Mormon, her parents are. I wouldn't be pursuing her if she wasn't a real doll, would I?

Perform voodoo magic in their living room. I'm not talking voodoo doll bullshit, you've got the sacrifice a goat and drink it's blood man. And as you pass the goat's dick to her father you'll feel the permanent bond that has been created between the two of you.

Thanks mang, I'll remember to suggest that to my friend whenever he gets lonely and his vibrator runs outta juice (you know who you are, cockwallet.)

How the hell are you 18 and in grade 9? /facepalmp.

I just stopped going to class when I was going thru withdrawal after getting on c0ke. My whorish mother giving me shit on top of that complicated the situation, so after moving out on my own, I never felt like quitting work and going back to school.

rideawalrus
2009-01-04, 00:18
I don't even know where to get a Mormon bible...

You probably have one laying around from the last time the Mormons accosted you and tried to force their religion upon you, well at least I do. I actually have about eight of them at my house, they make good Christmas presents for people that I hate. Do you want one?

Caoltan
2009-01-04, 00:21
2nd year univeristy? You'd be 19-20 in the UK for second year.

I just turned 19 last month and am in second year in Queens (QUB).

Leaving Cert ftw

Surak
2009-01-04, 07:10
mormons

Evasive maneuvers. NOW.

wallstreetshuffle
2009-01-05, 06:05
Huff raid

knows2nose
2009-01-05, 06:32
Every one of you talk out your ass and are just as ignorant as the people your claiming to know and talk about. Some of you cant even spell it right, its no wonder you cant do anything with your self's. Best go back to your pocket pussy, or your fleshlight.

As for the OP; if you want to get past the parents, show some manners and common sense and act like they are watching you, cause they are, and have, and will be, no matter what god you pray or dont pray too, and dont say things you wouldnt say around your own mother. Be on time and dont bull shit them, do what you say you will. Hell, I wouldnt trust you with my own kid if I knew your intentions were to screw her. Better yet try keeping it your pants long enough to get a job to support a baby, cause that what your really trying to do.

monkeywithaknife
2009-01-05, 07:13
Do you want one?

Actually I do want one. I asked the bluesuit-bikeriding-mormons for a copy and they said no.

wallstreetshuffle
2009-01-05, 07:19
Every one of you talk out your ass and are just as ignorant as the people your claiming to know and talk about. Some of you cant even spell it right, its no wonder you cant do anything with your self's. Best go back to your pocket pussy, or your fleshlight.

As for the OP; if you want to get past the parents, show some manners and common sense and act like they are watching you, cause they are, and have, and will be, no matter what god you pray or dont pray too, and dont say things you wouldnt say around your own mother. Be on time and dont bull shit them, do what you say you will. Hell, I wouldnt trust you with my own kid if I knew your intentions were to screw her. Better yet try keeping it your pants long enough to get a job to support a baby, cause that what your really trying to do.


Gtfo my totse.

Malkog
2009-01-05, 08:59
Some of you cant even spell it right, its no wonder you cant do anything with your self's.

Ahahahahaha.

moby_dick
2009-01-05, 17:53
Watch the south park episode "all about mormons" and take notes, then make like stan and enlighten them. ;)

mythbuster13
2009-01-05, 19:49
Ahahahahaha.

just noticed it, hahahaha idiot
go fuck yourself's guys

knows2nose
2009-01-06, 06:16
Actually I do want one. I asked the bluesuit-bikeriding-mormons for a copy and they said no.

If you order one for free from the "world wide web" those same bike riders will be forced to bring it to the address of your choice, and give it to you with a smile without the choice of saying no.

benpari
2009-01-06, 06:49
Having been friends with a lot of mormons, the only way to go about this really is to become mormon and basically get married to her(then fuck like rabbits for the rest of your life without any protection...ever). They are VERY serious about all this.
My freshman year I had a crush on a mormon girl and my best friend, who is also mormon, told me to not even bother just because of the way the church is.

Plus, a mormon girl will quickly become baggage you done want.

However there are also mormons girls I know who are not religious at all, but that doesnt sound like the kind of person you are talking about.