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View Full Version : penis enlargement - for the lols.


king_spi_ral
2009-01-04, 17:46
Im curious...
You know you see those "grow you penis 1-3 inches bigger in a few weeks" ads on the internet.

Well whether itsa natural method, pills or whatever else i wanna know if any of you have ever tried this.

Im relatively happy with my penis size and i doubt i'll ever try this im just very curious at whether they work or not....

Experiences?:D

Azure
2009-01-04, 17:52
Im curious...
You know you see those "grow you penis 1-3 inches bigger in a few weeks" ads on the internet.

Well whether itsa natural method, pills or whatever else i wanna know if any of you have ever tried this.

Im relatively happy with my penis size and i doubt i'll ever try this im just very curious at whether they work or not....

Experiences?:D

Insecure much?

psycho_8b
2009-01-04, 18:01
Your snappy use of words doesn't fool me. I say you buy some and tell us how they work, shorty.

king_spi_ral
2009-01-04, 18:02
aha no. i didnt wanna sound like those people who brag about the size of their dick.

But just to make you happy - I am very very happy with the size of my penis and couldnt wish for a larger one.
Your snappy use of words doesn't fool me. I say you buy some and tell us how they work, shorty. your snappy wit doesn't fool me. I say you get a dick and see how they work. Stumpy.

Sonty
2009-01-04, 19:44
There is no reliable way to increase size besides surgery and even that only increases flacid size.

The man show really needs to get back on tv.

LSA King
2009-01-04, 19:53
They don't work. I have multiple friends that have tried various different pills, pumps, programs and none f them have worked. One that is guaranteed is losing weight makes your penis "look" bigger.

Stendhal syndrome
2009-01-04, 20:11
PROTIP: Don't trust internet ads, and the shorter the lawn, the taller the mailbox looks.

Small Land Mammal
2009-01-04, 20:33
The only way to increase size it by stretching. Also known as jelquking or however you spell it. If you do it daily for a few years you will gain a few inches.

Pringles
2009-01-04, 22:49
PROTIP: Don't trust internet ads, and the shorter the lawn, the taller the mailbox looks.

I have heard that too.

SomeLowLife
2009-01-04, 23:42
The only way to increase size it by stretching. Also known as jelquking or however you spell it. If you do it daily for a few years you will gain a few inches.

What a horrible, horrible idea.


OP, pills or cream will only make your wallet smaller, not your penis bigger.

Transparent
2009-01-04, 23:49
I say you get a dick and see how they work. Stumpy.

You and I both know it wasn't my fault it got stuck in the woodchipper. :(



The only way to increase size it by stretching. Also known as jelquking or however you spell it. If you do it daily for a few years you will gain a few inches.

It's called jelqing, and it is not stretching your penis. Jelqing is forcing blood into your penis, slowly enlarging it over months. If done incorrectly it can damage your dick. If you're really that insecure, google jelqing and there's probably some free instructions.

KikoSanchez
2009-01-05, 02:27
Protip: obv pills are nonsense and will just lighten your wallet.

Buuut, there are free ways that will work, given time. I always thought it'd be fun to have 8 inches, so I did some exercises for 3 months and gained .5", reached said goal and quit. It is time consuming and it's likely the gains will reside over a few years going cold turkey, but it was neat to see it actually worked.

Fanglekai
2009-01-05, 04:13
I had a professor who studied biochem and who worked for Merck for 20+ years developing drugs and vaccines. One time he mentioned offhand about how penis enlargement pills are total bullshit. He said companies will sell them for a couple years until the FDA evaluates the product and shuts them down. I forget why he brought it up, but he was a really honest guy. He said he quit working for Merck before the Vioxx scandal but he was pretty pissed and disheartened by the whole thing. He's the kind of guy who has tried to spend his life helping people, so he hated the greed of the company. They do the whole, if we recall then we lose x dollars but if we let the drug stay on the market we gain x dollars and we will pay out x dollars in settlements. He said that breast and penis enlargement pills are scams of companies who prey on peoples' insecurities.

So, in short, pills don't work.

wallstreetshuffle
2009-01-05, 06:48
PROTIP: Don't trust internet ads, and the shorter the lawn, the taller the mailbox looks.

and the taller your mailbox looks, the easier the mailman can drop off his package.

Psychonautical
2009-01-05, 14:56
and the taller your mailbox looks, the easier the mailman can drop off his package.

Swing and a miss.

The taller the mailbox the more the mailman has to stretch to deliver.

Expl0itz
2009-01-05, 16:19
Swing and a miss.

The taller the mailbox the more the mailman has to stretch to deliver.

WRONG!

The taller the mailbox, the more angry your neighbors get that you have a taller mailbox.

Kryptonite420
2009-01-05, 16:45
Im curious...
You know you see those "grow you penis 1-3 inches bigger in a few weeks" ads on the internet.

Well whether itsa natural method, pills or whatever else i wanna know if any of you have ever tried this.

Im relatively happy with my penis size and i doubt i'll ever try this im just very curious at whether they work or not....

Experiences?:D

So like this ummm.....friend of mine, has like this problem, and he doesn't really know what to do. He has a really small penis and my girlfriend, I mean his girlfriend, has been like fucking other guys because he just can't get it done right. So, it's not my penis or anything, but can you give me like some advice...you know, for my friend?

king_spi_ral
2009-01-05, 19:24
yeah i suggest telling your friend to talk to his girlfriend. This is the best way to solve situations like that. Him having a small penis is nothing to worry about, if theres love between them both then size doesnt matter at all. But it seems that she is just not the right girl for him and i suggest him dumping her and moving on. He'll find someone who truly loves him for who he is and not treat him badly for what he hasnt got. There are plenty more fish in the sea.


.... :rolleyes:

devoiced
2009-01-06, 01:13
When I was twelve or thirteen I was fucking around in my friends room, and found a print out on stretches to increase penis size under his pillow. I remember words like "jelqing" and "kegel". I laughed it off then placed them out in the open where his parents could find them.

Years later in high school several of my female friends had hooked up with him, and were joking about how his penis was shaped like a bowling pin. Larger at the base, then skinny, then larger at the head again. Years later I thought about it and connected the two. Nigger prolly fuxed his shit up.

Fanglekai
2009-01-06, 01:38
When I was twelve or thirteen I was fucking around in my friends room, and found a print out on stretches to increase penis size under his pillow. I remember words like "jelqing" and "kegel". I laughed it off then placed them out in the open where his parents could find them.

Years later in high school several of my female friends had hooked up with him, and were joking about how his penis was shaped like a bowling pin. Larger at the base, then skinny, then larger at the head again. Years later I thought about it and connected the two. Nigger prolly fuxed his shit up.

Doing kegels is helpful and doesn't do anything harmful if you don't overdo it. He probably fucked up jelqing and ended up on efukt.com

Yggdrasil
2009-01-06, 02:13
WRONG!

The taller the mailbox, the more angry your neighbors get that you have a taller mailbox.

http://www.clipartguide.com/_thumbs/0060-0505-1819-1322.jpg

Yoh
2009-01-06, 02:44
Haven't you seen Tenacious D? You gotta do cock pushups!