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View Full Version : girl i met tells me she was molested...


rodrat16
2009-01-05, 01:07
okay so this friend of my introduced me to one of her other friends and we almost immediately took a liking to each other.

i have only met met her three times so far so were practically strangers still but for the week we have known each other we have talked almost none stop.

last night was the third time we met up and late into the night we were setting in my truck talking and we start touching each other in flirty manners and eventually were making out pretty passionately. way too much for practically just meeting. we finally stop and agree that its going way to fast and we should stop.

she starts to tell me that she gets confused about that kinda stuff and goes on to tell me that when she was younger her step brother would molest her but she didnt know at the time cause of her age. and then we both agree that its getting late and she left to go home. she had promised me later that night she would talk to me today, but after trying to reach her my our mutual friend told me that she didnt want to talk to me right now and that she is trying to figure some stuff out.

so my question is what should i do
shoud i try to get a hold of her or give her some space and hope she comes around?

Chichi
2009-01-05, 01:18
we finally stop and agree that its going way to fast and we should stop.

Wow.

You are a fucking pussy.

DrZeusDrZeus
2009-01-05, 01:20
chichi did you molest this girl? I think you did.

Chichi
2009-01-05, 01:27
Whatever, whatever, I do what I want. :mad:

rodrat16
2009-01-05, 01:29
Wow.

You are a fucking pussy.

no, but i do have morals and i would like some serious replies please

Chichi
2009-01-05, 01:33
no, but i do have morals and i would like some serious replies please

Having consensual sex with a female is immoral how?

rodrat16
2009-01-05, 01:39
its against my own personal morals to be pushing it that far with some one that i practically just met and she agreed with me whole heartedly.

but im still looking for a serious reply to my question or any advice

DrZeusDrZeus
2009-01-05, 01:43
so I was listening to Love-Line the other day.


Most victims of molestation,will later in life subconciously seek out and be attracted to predators.

How do you think some women are repeatedly raped{minus family members who have control over them} by differant men ,at differant stages in life.

Just really bad luck? wrong place,wrong time? nope.And if you have been raped , sorry,thats unfortunate.


ok what was the question?

mythbuster13
2009-01-05, 01:45
http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/thumb/9/99/Asking.jpg/180px-Asking.jpg
she thinks it's a turn on for you

rodrat16
2009-01-05, 01:52
okay well drzeuz im not a predator

usually there are some nice people on here to actually help

i guess sunday nights are when all the bastards are online

DrZeusDrZeus
2009-01-05, 01:59
okay well drzeuz im not a predator

usually there are some nice people on here to actually help

i guess sunday nights are when all the bastards are online


That will teach you from coming on here and dare asking for help. on a message board thats suppose to help and inform people.

Silverfuck
2009-01-05, 02:03
Chances are she wasn't planning on telling you something like that and is worried about what you will think. That's probably not something she has told a lot of people, but it sounds like you got comfortable talking to each other very quickly and she might have had a lapse in the facade she usually puts up, and felt safe enough sharing that skeleton in her closet with you. However afterwords she probably wished she hadn't told you, maybe because she'd never told anyone before, maybe because she thought you would judge her or look at her differently, or even because she may not have had any sexual experiences outside of being molested and is just anxious and unsure about the whole thing, maybe even feeling guilty about it. If I were you I would leave her a message or something, be it on facebook or e-mail or answering machine, just something to the effect of, "I really like you and enjoyed spending time with you. If you don't want to talk to me, I'll leave you alone, but I'm here if you need me, I'd like to see you again..." or something like that, obviously in your own words. Just make sure she knows that you see her as more than her misfortunes and that you're available if she needs you. If she doesn't respond after that, though, you should drop it and leave her to work through her issues.

Chichi
2009-01-05, 02:05
Yeah, faggot.

You wanna ask a question, it better be about poisoning llamas or sucking your own dick. :mad:

rodrat16
2009-01-05, 02:30
Chances are she wasn't planning on telling you something like that and is worried about what you will think. That's probably not something she has told a lot of people, but it sounds like you got comfortable talking to each other very quickly and she might have had a lapse in the facade she usually puts up, and felt safe enough sharing that skeleton in her closet with you. However afterwords she probably wished she hadn't told you, maybe because she'd never told anyone before, maybe because she thought you would judge her or look at her differently, or even because she may not have had any sexual experiences outside of being molested and is just anxious and unsure about the whole thing, maybe even feeling guilty about it. If I were you I would leave her a message or something, be it on facebook or e-mail or answering machine, just something to the effect of, "I really like you and enjoyed spending time with you. If you don't want to talk to me, I'll leave you alone, but I'm here if you need me, I'd like to see you again..." or something like that, obviously in your own words. Just make sure she knows that you see her as more than her misfortunes and that you're available if she needs you. If she doesn't respond after that, though, you should drop it and leave her to work through her issues.


thank you :)
i had left her a message already earlier so im just waiting on her to come around. i think i will give her a few days cause her ex has been making things a lil difficult now too

twenty four seven
2009-01-05, 02:53
Having consensual sex with a female is immoral how?



lol thank god you said it so I didn't have to.....

Silverfuck
2009-01-05, 02:59
Chichi and twenty four seven, don't be asshats. Some people like to have relationships before they have sex, and there's nothing wrong about that.

twenty four seven
2009-01-05, 03:09
Chichi and twenty four seven, don't be asshats. Some people like to have relationships before they have sex, and there's nothing wrong about that.

I don't have a problem with having a relationship before you have sex. The only girl I've truly ever been in love with I didn't have sex with. The only reason I quoted Chichi was because

1.)I lol'd hard
2.)He said they were already passionately making out in his truck, so it's not like she couldn't have sucked his dick or anything. Who said they had to have sex first?
3.)???
4.) Profit!

mythbuster13
2009-01-05, 03:18
Chichi and twenty four seven, don't be asshats. Some people like to have relationships before they have sex, and there's nothing wrong about that.

lol good one asshat

dingdongduy
2009-01-05, 04:25
we finally stop and agree that its going way to fast and we should stop.

Aahahahahahahahaha!

DrZeusDrZeus
2009-01-05, 04:48
Chichi and twenty four seven, don't be asshats. Some people like to have relationships before they have sex, and there's nothing wrong about that.


HaHAHa

She called you guys asshats.

rodrat16
2009-01-05, 04:50
Aahahahahahahahaha!

unlike most people
i some self respect and am looking for a lil bit more than just sex in my relationships

colorsoc
2009-01-05, 05:01
Dude, you are so in with this girl. Like silverfuck said - the girl told you something really personal, in the heat of the moment, and now is embarrassed. She probably doesn't want to talk to you because she's scared shitless of what she's done( you could be a jerk and tell other people/you think she's a freak/she is rejected). You just gotta play it cool and be understanding of her situation. Be there for her. Maybe even reveal something really personal about yourself to her. Oh man you have like a royal flush right here, don't fuck it up!

ChiChi- Stop acting your age.

Small Land Mammal
2009-01-05, 05:01
I was in a similar situation before (except not really). I was on vacation in cuba and one of the girls I went with (who is very hot and I was trying to fuck) ended up drinking too much, passing out, and being raped by some guy (or possibly guyS).

Anyways, at 3 am one night she shows up to my room crying and we ended up getting (more) drunk and staying up all night listening to music and talking. I wanted to fuck her, and there was points where I could have taken advantage of her but I didn't. People that have had bad sexual experiences shouldn't be forced into anything they find too uncomfortable.

The same principles probably apply to the girl your interested in. Give her some space and don't try to force anything. Once she trusts you she should be more willing to get into bed. Even then I would take it easy though. She was probably pretty traumatized because it happened when she was young.

Small Land Mammal
2009-01-05, 05:06
Maybe even reveal something really personal about yourself to her.

This this this. This will help her to trust you.

rodrat16
2009-01-06, 04:23
okay a lil update

so i finally got a hold of her and all she told me is that she is fine and she needs time to work some things out on her own but she doesnt want to talk to me again, ever.

girls are so confusing

Affect
2009-01-06, 04:31
chichi did you molest this girl? I think you did.

The only thing Chichi molests is his dirty fag self. He needs to learn when to just shut the fuck up.

-If she doesn't want to talk, don't push her. Most girls have been molested. It's a sad state of affairs.

rodrat16
2009-01-06, 04:35
i really dont want to lose at the least a friend like this. i think im gonna give her a week or two and if she doesnt come around maybe try to get in touch with her again

Nightside Eclipse
2009-01-06, 04:38
Did you really base it on morals? Sex is a humans instinct, and unless you have some fear you aren't telling us-- then you're one in a million who based it off of morals.

What ARE your morals?

EDIT: If you like her, phone her back asap. Simple!

rodrat16
2009-01-06, 04:44
Did you really base it on morals? Sex is a humans instinct, and unless you have some fear you aren't telling us-- then you're one in a million who based it off of morals.

What ARE your morals?

EDIT: If you like her, phone her back asap. Simple!


well i already tried today she didnt answer
but i got texts afterwards from people i dont know telling me that she is just getting aggravated and that i need to leave her alone...

Nightside Eclipse
2009-01-06, 04:49
well i already tried today she didnt answer
but i got texts afterwards from people i dont know telling me that she is just getting aggravated and that i need to leave her alone...

She's probably now scared because of what she told you.
Hmm...

Maybe phone her and say "What you said with me last night, will stay there. Forever".

Chances are shes bat-shit nuts. Stay away with a long meter stick and a pole on the end.

Mr.Dave
2009-01-06, 04:51
Bail out now man, if you 2 ended up having a relationship, it's probably gonna totally suck later on, because she'll more than likely have all these emotional problems that you have to deal with. But hey, if you like listening to a girl cry and trip out on the phone until 4 a.m., go for it.

rodrat16
2009-01-06, 04:59
i dont know

something is just attracting me to her

every girl i have ever dealt with has had issues

im like a magnet for them

Mr.Dave
2009-01-06, 05:16
I'm the exact same way, I had a therapist tell me this a while back, so I know what your talking about. Every girl I've dated has some horrible experience that for some reason makes her trip balls and I have to talk them out of doing some stupid shit. I had to talk my ex out of cutting herself a few times. So just this once, stay out of the way and don't call her back, theres plenty of girls out there. You'll thank yourself later on.

bushy
2009-01-06, 13:57
Seriously, most girls I date feel the need to tell me that they were molested/raped at one point.


I think all girls think they were molested by someone at some point in time.

Kyoki
2009-01-06, 14:46
My guess,

In her mind, by telling her it was going too fast, you rejected her. She'd just revealed that she'd been sexually abused. Batshit crazy girls tend to connect any rejection, on any level, with the source of their emotional trauma. Either connecting you with the trauma itself, or assuming that your rejection is because of it. They're not big on rationality at this stage.

jackketch
2009-01-06, 15:55
Seems to me that almost every women these days was either molested as a child or raped by a boyfriend.

Sometimes both if they want to be really k3wL!

rodrat16
2009-01-06, 19:19
well she did say it was by her step brother when she was really young. so it could be true

Silverfuck
2009-01-06, 21:39
Seems to me that almost every women these days was either molested as a child or raped by a boyfriend.

Sometimes both if they want to be really k3wL!

Oh, come on. Being such a deviant yourself, I would think you would know better than to say something so ignorant.

gadzooks
2009-01-06, 23:23
she starts to tell me that she gets confused about that kinda stuff and goes on to tell me that when she was younger her step brother would molest her but she didnt know at the time cause of her age. and then we both agree that its getting late and she left to go home. she had promised me later that night she would talk to me today, but after trying to reach her my our mutual friend told me that she didnt want to talk to me right now and that she is trying to figure some stuff out.

This is one fucked up bitch.

She is either A) lying about having been molested (most likely the case), or B) is using the fact that she was molested as an excuse to ditch you because she no longer finds you interesting.

Either way, she is NOT the kind of girl you want to get involved with.

Consider yourself warned.

gadzooks
2009-01-06, 23:24
i really dont want to lose at the least a friend like this.

Trust me. You do.

rodrat16
2009-01-07, 08:56
Trust me. You do.

why not?
im a really friendly guy and i enjoyed her company so whats wrong with her as a friend?

IamCancer
2009-01-07, 13:21
why not?
im a really friendly guy and i enjoyed her company so whats wrong with her as a friend?

1) You were in what could be seen as a relationship with her before. Most people aren't good friends with their ex's because of the past.

2) She's bat shit crazy and will most likely bail tons of emotional shit onto you.

Theirs prlly more reasons but, at the moment I think that you made this thread because you wanted to hear what you wanted to hear. In the the end it's your choise whether to follow your instincts or the group of stangers on the internet.

Personally I think ou should leave her alone as much as she wants you to. If you are a nice guys respect her wishes and do what she asks. If she starts to talk to you again you'll hav emore trust with than before.

MRman
2009-01-07, 14:35
Well i don't know YOU so I can't really tell whether it's a good idea or not to keep talking to her. I have a couple of really good friend's who have had bad emotional experioences in their past. I can handle it but i must admit that it can be hard work. You just need to be understanding and just leave her if she doesn't want to talk. For lack of a better expression they can be high maintenance. If you honestly think that you can deal with her issues then good luck but if not then I'd get the fuck outta there. Trust me, you don't want to be dealing with this kind of stuff and if she's already worried about talking about it then just leave her. Its sad but she can handle herself, for all you know, you'll just make things worse.

rodrat16
2009-01-07, 16:48
well "high maintenance" doesnt really bother me i have decided im just gonna stay away from her

if she changes her mind and starts talk ig to me then great but if not ill just be on the look out for a better girl

Mr.Dave
2009-01-07, 17:25
Dude you made the right move, cheers bro.

gadzooks
2009-01-08, 07:33
why not?

This...

She's bat shit crazy and will most likely bail tons of emotional shit onto you.

i have decided im just gonna stay away from her

if she changes her mind and starts talk ig to me then great but if not ill just be on the look out for a better girl

Sounds like a much better plan.

Toastman
2009-01-08, 08:19
Two words.

Tom Motha-Fuckin Liekis.

According to him, any girl that went thru that will always be crazy and you dont want them in your life. Unless of course you plan on fucking her and moving out of the country the next day.

The Rule Of 5
2009-01-09, 07:02
well it seems you are caught between a rock and hard place my friend. She is going to seek the attention of you whenever she comes back around. she will have trust issues to boot so be prepared. oh and also be prepared for the "Cling" as i like to call it. she will for the most part seek your approval for anything and she will seek the things in life that she never had in life with you. now why she told you this so early in the relationship beats the fuck out of me, but hey what can you do right. she will also have family issues that will more than likely be lived out vicariously through you. i have been with one of these girls before. my personal opinion tuck your tail and run but if you are going to stay with her be ready for this because it will manifest itself at some point.

TetrisHydraCanOfBeanOil
2009-01-10, 22:20
its against my own personal morals to be pushing it that far with some one that i practically just met and she agreed with me whole heartedly.

That's legit, kids. no joke.

Dennis_Rader
2009-01-11, 04:29
Man, I would say to give her a little space. Try to get a hold of her in like a week or so.

dark_rider_666
2009-01-11, 06:09
http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l84/khybat/Puffs.png

;)

rodrat16
2009-01-12, 08:05
well just for the hell of it i decided to try to get a hold of her

just kinda sent her a text
"hey. :)"

no reply

TEMPIST
2009-01-12, 09:17
well just for the hell of it i decided to try to get a hold of her

just kinda sent her a text
"hey. :)"

no reply

You should send her an email. When you do it over the text, she might feel obligated to respond to you, and that is always a bad idea in the situation that you are in. Instead try sending her an email, telling her how you feel about her, tell her that you dont want her sexually, but rather want her close as a friend, mention that you felt something that night in your truck... well you know the rest, just spill your soul. The key is for her to understand that she is not obligated to do anything. After the email, a day or two after, call her in the morning(before school) and leave her a sweet message, something alone the lines that there are people that care about her, and that you are one of them. About a day or two after that, when she realizes that you really care for her, you should ask her to go out with you. Do you live near a body of water of any kind? You should take her out somewhere nice and just be near her, maybe even kiss her on the cheek.