Cowboy of the Apocalypse
2009-01-07, 08:47
What do you regulars here think about the game? I'm sure it's wont take much of a breathe of fresh air in here to blow the cowebs and dust off that classic GPP cynicism.
(Pretty Damn) Long Version that none of you will bother to read:
What do you regulars here think about the game? I'm sure it's wont take much of a breathe of fresh air in here to blow the cowebs and dust off that classic GPP cynicism.
I rekon this to be the best childrens title since VooDoo Vince. Was that comment condescending to Nintendo fans? May be, but I don't know what else to call it, as it's G rated and published by motherfucking Disney. Yeah, Disney, and it's a great game. Imagine that. Definitely worth a rent, and would be a permanent stable mate to my other games if only I didn't find any game without split screen multiplayer unacceptable.
Gameplay wise, it does get a little steep for a children - it does get pretty difficult on the way to the end, which stretches World Tour mode out some - but if anything this game proves that a G rating doesn't neccessarily mean the game is marketed towards children. It's too awesome for the young mind of a larval adult to comprehend, because the part of their brain that processes it hasn't fully formed yet, and they have known nothing of stress.
It has it's moments of beserk frustration where you throw your controller through a brick wall after wiping out a gigantic combo in Freestyle, and can make you laughabley annoyed when all you win is shitty new handle grips after completing a thrillingly intense online Race session. But that's not a bad thing. Not a bad thing at all, it doesn't turn you off but turns you into an adrenaline drooling beast.
Just like in real life, you can just cruise around a place and explore, discover cool shit, etc.
The customising bikes thing is pretty fucking cool (building them from the ground up, using parts and upgrades you unlock along the way), and really provide an extra dimension to make the difference between a very tedious game you would put down after half an hour, and a very cool game which you just can't put down for hours. You start by choosing a bare frame from a couple default choices, then throwing on everything from 350cc 2 stroke engines to a dozen different springs, to hand gaurds, to graphics (large graphical print stickers) and a whole lot more.
I think it has just the right amount of customisation options, but also provides you can skip as much of that as you like by hitting X or Y to quick build for different race types - i.e you highlight handlebars and hit X for quick build for Freestyle and it'll pick the most suitable handlebars for Freestyle on there. You can mash the button, or combo them, repeadtedly to very quickly assemble a specialised quad bike.
Not a terrible lot in the way of drivetrain customisation (you can pick about 15 engine combos, no gearboxes, chains, or anything else though final drive ratio can be adjusted via the two sprocket choices and their 6 combinations), but that's coming from someone who's a junky of the seriously deep Forza Motorsport's mechanical aspects, and isn't even a complaint..
..especially when you can fully customise your bikes otherwise.
The handling dynamics of the bikes you make differs enough to make it interesting, of course this all depends on the parts you use, so you can make a heap of very different bikes to kick arse in different race modes - and you can pick from 5 riders, just to provide another angle of handling variation (though their stats are not displayed). Disney gave us the good christian boy, the Lesbian Latino, the token b-ball playing nigger, the good christian boy's slutty little sister, an insensitive Japanese stereotype, and some tryhard kid who I want to punch in the face. hard.
The detail levels in the track scenery are insane, with not one square centimeter of any track* in a race being left untouched, and coupled with the fucken fantastic graphics engine makes it actually breath taking. The scenery is excitingly fantasised to the extreme. These tracks make rainbow road the most boring track in any game ever in comparison. Every fucking flower, blade of grass, spray of water, clod of mud, or leaf is modeled to a point of beauty and absolute greatness.
I have few complaints of the game, but one I do have is the snad in desert levels. It's nothing like sand. It handles like clay, doesn't asborb impact as well as sand does, and is even rendered to look like a cracked clay pan. Sand dunes in particular shouldn't be textured at all. Most of all it's far too easy to drive on. As anyone who has spent any amount of time riding sand tracks in real life can tell you, riding on real sand is like your front wheels are the stylus on a record player, and the grooves in the sand are a very erratically designed record, trying to throw you over the handlebars.
Even though it's not really a flaw in the game, because it's not a simulator and if it did model sand tracks properly they'd be far too difficult to ride on, this is a slight issue with me (experienced dirt bike rider, of over a decade's exposure).
*maps really, as you're not limited to any one route in the race. There are dozens of trails and tracks full of unique scenery, jumps, and cool discoveries, interwoven like spaghetti, which mean you can take hundreds of different but equally awesome routes in a Race or Freestyle event - and eventually you will work out the combination of trails that leads to the fastest shortcuts, which can often mean being put right back into the pack, or in front of it and through to victory. There are some really beautiful places to explore, and the locations are all pretty faithful to their real life counterparts (New Zealand tracks are what I noticed the most - just like the south island).
And the most impressive part of the game is that it's clearly had a lot of effort put into streamlined coding, because my console handled all the graphics, effects, and action on screen with 16 players and not a single reduction in frame rate even once. To re-iterate my first point, I think this is the best fucken 'children's game' since VooDoo Vince.
TL ; DR Content Reduction Version:
I rekon this to be the best childrens title since VooDoo Vince. Definitely worth a rent.
Gameplay wise, it does get a little steep for a children, which stretches World Tour mode out some.
Just like in real life, you can just cruise around a place an explore, discover cool shit, etc.
The customising bikes thing really makes the difference between a very tedious game you would put down after half an hour, and a very cool game which you just can't put down for hours. It has just the right amount of customisation options, but you can skip as much of that as you like by hitting X or Y to quick build for different race types.
The handling dynamics of the bikes you make differs enough to make it interesting, and you can pick from 5 riders, just to provide another angle of handling variation (though their stats are not displayed).
The detail levels in the track scenery are insane, with not one square centimeter of any track* in a race being left untouched, and coupled with the fucken fantastic graphics engine makes it actually breath taking.
I have few complaints of the game, but the sand in desert levels like Glamis is nothing like sand, and is even rendered to look like a cracked clay pan.
*maps really, as there are dozens of trails and tracks interwoven like spaghetti, which means you can take hundreds of different but equally awesome routes in a Race or Freestyle event, and shortcuts. There are some really beautiful places to explore.
The most impressive part of the game is that my console handled all the graphics, effects, and action on screen with 16 players and not a single reduction in frame rate even once.
To re-iterate my first point, I think this is the best fucken 'children's game' since VooDoo Vince. What do you say?
(Pretty Damn) Long Version that none of you will bother to read:
What do you regulars here think about the game? I'm sure it's wont take much of a breathe of fresh air in here to blow the cowebs and dust off that classic GPP cynicism.
I rekon this to be the best childrens title since VooDoo Vince. Was that comment condescending to Nintendo fans? May be, but I don't know what else to call it, as it's G rated and published by motherfucking Disney. Yeah, Disney, and it's a great game. Imagine that. Definitely worth a rent, and would be a permanent stable mate to my other games if only I didn't find any game without split screen multiplayer unacceptable.
Gameplay wise, it does get a little steep for a children - it does get pretty difficult on the way to the end, which stretches World Tour mode out some - but if anything this game proves that a G rating doesn't neccessarily mean the game is marketed towards children. It's too awesome for the young mind of a larval adult to comprehend, because the part of their brain that processes it hasn't fully formed yet, and they have known nothing of stress.
It has it's moments of beserk frustration where you throw your controller through a brick wall after wiping out a gigantic combo in Freestyle, and can make you laughabley annoyed when all you win is shitty new handle grips after completing a thrillingly intense online Race session. But that's not a bad thing. Not a bad thing at all, it doesn't turn you off but turns you into an adrenaline drooling beast.
Just like in real life, you can just cruise around a place and explore, discover cool shit, etc.
The customising bikes thing is pretty fucking cool (building them from the ground up, using parts and upgrades you unlock along the way), and really provide an extra dimension to make the difference between a very tedious game you would put down after half an hour, and a very cool game which you just can't put down for hours. You start by choosing a bare frame from a couple default choices, then throwing on everything from 350cc 2 stroke engines to a dozen different springs, to hand gaurds, to graphics (large graphical print stickers) and a whole lot more.
I think it has just the right amount of customisation options, but also provides you can skip as much of that as you like by hitting X or Y to quick build for different race types - i.e you highlight handlebars and hit X for quick build for Freestyle and it'll pick the most suitable handlebars for Freestyle on there. You can mash the button, or combo them, repeadtedly to very quickly assemble a specialised quad bike.
Not a terrible lot in the way of drivetrain customisation (you can pick about 15 engine combos, no gearboxes, chains, or anything else though final drive ratio can be adjusted via the two sprocket choices and their 6 combinations), but that's coming from someone who's a junky of the seriously deep Forza Motorsport's mechanical aspects, and isn't even a complaint..
..especially when you can fully customise your bikes otherwise.
The handling dynamics of the bikes you make differs enough to make it interesting, of course this all depends on the parts you use, so you can make a heap of very different bikes to kick arse in different race modes - and you can pick from 5 riders, just to provide another angle of handling variation (though their stats are not displayed). Disney gave us the good christian boy, the Lesbian Latino, the token b-ball playing nigger, the good christian boy's slutty little sister, an insensitive Japanese stereotype, and some tryhard kid who I want to punch in the face. hard.
The detail levels in the track scenery are insane, with not one square centimeter of any track* in a race being left untouched, and coupled with the fucken fantastic graphics engine makes it actually breath taking. The scenery is excitingly fantasised to the extreme. These tracks make rainbow road the most boring track in any game ever in comparison. Every fucking flower, blade of grass, spray of water, clod of mud, or leaf is modeled to a point of beauty and absolute greatness.
I have few complaints of the game, but one I do have is the snad in desert levels. It's nothing like sand. It handles like clay, doesn't asborb impact as well as sand does, and is even rendered to look like a cracked clay pan. Sand dunes in particular shouldn't be textured at all. Most of all it's far too easy to drive on. As anyone who has spent any amount of time riding sand tracks in real life can tell you, riding on real sand is like your front wheels are the stylus on a record player, and the grooves in the sand are a very erratically designed record, trying to throw you over the handlebars.
Even though it's not really a flaw in the game, because it's not a simulator and if it did model sand tracks properly they'd be far too difficult to ride on, this is a slight issue with me (experienced dirt bike rider, of over a decade's exposure).
*maps really, as you're not limited to any one route in the race. There are dozens of trails and tracks full of unique scenery, jumps, and cool discoveries, interwoven like spaghetti, which mean you can take hundreds of different but equally awesome routes in a Race or Freestyle event - and eventually you will work out the combination of trails that leads to the fastest shortcuts, which can often mean being put right back into the pack, or in front of it and through to victory. There are some really beautiful places to explore, and the locations are all pretty faithful to their real life counterparts (New Zealand tracks are what I noticed the most - just like the south island).
And the most impressive part of the game is that it's clearly had a lot of effort put into streamlined coding, because my console handled all the graphics, effects, and action on screen with 16 players and not a single reduction in frame rate even once. To re-iterate my first point, I think this is the best fucken 'children's game' since VooDoo Vince.
TL ; DR Content Reduction Version:
I rekon this to be the best childrens title since VooDoo Vince. Definitely worth a rent.
Gameplay wise, it does get a little steep for a children, which stretches World Tour mode out some.
Just like in real life, you can just cruise around a place an explore, discover cool shit, etc.
The customising bikes thing really makes the difference between a very tedious game you would put down after half an hour, and a very cool game which you just can't put down for hours. It has just the right amount of customisation options, but you can skip as much of that as you like by hitting X or Y to quick build for different race types.
The handling dynamics of the bikes you make differs enough to make it interesting, and you can pick from 5 riders, just to provide another angle of handling variation (though their stats are not displayed).
The detail levels in the track scenery are insane, with not one square centimeter of any track* in a race being left untouched, and coupled with the fucken fantastic graphics engine makes it actually breath taking.
I have few complaints of the game, but the sand in desert levels like Glamis is nothing like sand, and is even rendered to look like a cracked clay pan.
*maps really, as there are dozens of trails and tracks interwoven like spaghetti, which means you can take hundreds of different but equally awesome routes in a Race or Freestyle event, and shortcuts. There are some really beautiful places to explore.
The most impressive part of the game is that my console handled all the graphics, effects, and action on screen with 16 players and not a single reduction in frame rate even once.
To re-iterate my first point, I think this is the best fucken 'children's game' since VooDoo Vince. What do you say?