So my wife and I are wanting to have a little addition to the family, and I was wondering if anyone had any advice on how to make it happen faster. Obviously jerking off is out because have to save them for the real thing, and I know about the whole Ovulation thing. But are there any position, or things that will help make it more likely to have a little baby? Also she was on the DEPO shot for 3 years, and i've heard that this could cause it to take a couple years to get pregnant, but then others have said that now that shes off of it that she will be way more likely to get pregnant then normal? Thank you for your help.

You wife's medical practitioner is more likely to help you out with this question than 99.9% of the posters on totse.

Medically speaking no idea but here are a few pseudo scientific suggestions that anecdotaly seem to work.

1. lots of 'doggy'/deep penetrative sex.

2. let her gain a little weight..just a little. A LB or so. Helps trick her limbic. It's a naked ape thang. Plenty of food = time to breed.

3. Lots of happy relaxed time with babies/small children.

4. GO ON HOLIDAY WITH HER.

Convince yourself that you/are;

1) Too young to have kids.
2) Can't take the burden financially right now.
3) You hate kids
4) Having one with your wife will ruin your relationship.

People who never want kids or can't handle them always end up pregnant.

If you don't want them then they will come.

Good luck.

Just don't stress it and enjoy the awesome sex that you get when you actually try to impregnate your partner.

Also, consult your doctors.

how is babby formed?

also, make sure there's no propane in your urethrae.

Convince yourself that you/are;

1) Too young to have kids.
2) Can't take the burden financially right now.
3) You hate kids
4) Having one with your wife will ruin your relationship.

People who never want kids or can't handle them always end up pregnant.

If you don't want them then they will come.

Good luck.

QFMFT!
Ladies and Gentleman, we have a winner.

Convince yourself that you/are;

1) Too young to have kids.
2) Can't take the burden financially right now.
3) You hate kids
4) Having one with your wife will ruin your relationship.

People who never want kids or can't handle them always end up pregnant.

If you don't want them then they will come.

Good luck.

I fuckin' lol'd.

Medically speaking no idea but here are a few pseudo scientific suggestions that anecdotaly seem to work.

1. lots of 'doggy'/deep penetrative sex.

2. let her gain a little weight..just a little. A LB or so. Helps trick her limbic. It's a naked ape thang. Plenty of food = time to breed.

3. Lots of happy relaxed time with babies/small children.

4. GO ON HOLIDAY WITH HER.

Pretty much this, also try looking up diets that will help her have a health child.

IMO you should see a GP for some more advice.

Happy breeding:p

also, make sure there's no propane in your urethrae.

You have no idea just how badly this can end.

Please abort it if it is retarded/midget. Thank you.

- Tom

Convince yourself that you/are;

1) Too young to have kids.
2) Can't take the burden financially right now.
3) You hate kids
4) Having one with your wife will ruin your relationship.

People who never want kids or can't handle them always end up pregnant.

If you don't want them then they will come.

Good luck.

This.
100% Correct if you don't want them they will come.

If you do t will take months and months of sex....

Hey wait.:D

how is babby formed?

Witchcraft

statistically speaking, rape is apparently the best way to get a girl pregnant. so surprise her.

statistically speaking, rape is apparently the best way to get a girl pregnant. so surprise her.

In the ass.

You should also have her take prenatal vitamins to help her body get ready for the baby.

Well naturally, you and your wife should be having frequent sex before, during, and after the days of ovulation. Perhaps, like Jack said, different position aid the sperm on their way to the ovum.

If these methods and others don't work, then something may be wrong. It wouldn't hurt to have your sperm count checked, and an examination on your wife would also be beneficial. Some women's fallopian tubes and other sex organs are malformed or irregular, and incapable at or inhospitable for pregnancy.

Best of luck, however :)

In all seriousness:

Try to orgasm at the same time. A female orgasm creates almost a suction that would draw the sperm closer in...

Ok well thanks a lot you guys. Yea she is getting a check up by a doctor but the appointment not till the 27th. She is starting to eat healthier and going to exercise before hand so she is healthy also we already have her on prenatal vitamins.

So still no baby yet but I guess we might really be going to have one because her fucking CUNT BITCH WHORE ASSHOLE MOTHER FUCKER of a mom has kind of convenience her if she has a kid now shes going to be a horrible shitty mom and get divorced because my wife needs counseling. My wife was molested as a child and only has come out to me up until this past weekend when she came out to her adopted mom(the cunt). So I guess my mother in law told her she needs counseling(I already knew that and was planning on this already) but also has my wife under the impression that shes going to be a shitty horrible emotional wreck and get divorced and ruin her marraige(Just like her mom) if she doesn't get counseling and wait on having a kid. So now she still wants a kid but part of my wife doesn't think its right time.

So I guess all those things on tv and comics about how people hate their in-laws is true. I fucking hate my cunt mother in law she almost broke us up once because she sent me a text from my wifes phone telling me that "you better get off your ass and send me money NOW because i need to buy cloths" while I was away training with army so I thought my wife was just being a cunt but it was really her mom and I almost broke up with her because for the longest time I thought it was my wife.

OK so thanks for all the help and hopefully the fact that her mom doesn't want us to have a kid will help us actually concieve.

Ok well thanks a lot you guys. Yea she is getting a check up by a doctor but the appointment not till the 27th. She is starting to eat healthier and going to exercise before hand so she is healthy also we already have her on prenatal vitamins.

So still no baby yet but I guess we might really be going to have one because her fucking CUNT BITCH WHORE ASSHOLE MOTHER FUCKER of a mom has kind of convenience her if she has a kid now shes going to be a horrible shitty mom and get divorced because my wife needs counseling. My wife was molested as a child and only has come out to me up until this past weekend when she came out to her adopted mom(the cunt). So I guess my mother in law told her she needs counseling(I already knew that and was planning on this already) but also has my wife under the impression that shes going to be a shitty horrible emotional wreck and get divorced and ruin her marraige(Just like her mom) if she doesn't get counseling and wait on having a kid. So now she still wants a kid but part of my wife doesn't think its right time.

So I guess all those things on tv and comics about how people hate their in-laws is true. I fucking hate my cunt mother in law she almost broke us up once because she sent me a text from my wifes phone telling me that "you better get off your ass and send me money NOW because i need to buy cloths" while I was away training with army so I thought my wife was just being a cunt but it was really her mom and I almost broke up with her because for the longest time I thought it was my wife.

OK so thanks for all the help and hopefully the fact that her mom doesn't want us to have a kid will help us actually concieve.

I feel your pain, bro.

My M-I-L -hereafter the "Witch Of The East" (my mom is the "Witch Of The West") hated me..and I do mean H.A.T.E.D me with a passion. She loathed me.

In all fairness I guess a bare foot, permanently drunk alcoholic in obscenely ripped jeans and with a battered fedora and bangles up to his armpits wasn't really what she'd wanted for her daughter. The fact her daughter had ditched her long time good german fiancee for me didn't help much nor did the fact she'd only met me that week on holiday.

The fact I got her daugther pregnant within weeks of meeting didn't go down too well especially.

She put such pressure on my wife-to-be to ditch me that it makes Gitmo seem like a holiday camp and once she even called the Polizei to get me arrested for 'kidnapping' her 18 year old daughter who was staying at mine for the *gasp* weekend and who hadn't phoned home for 48 hours....

Took along long long time...many years but finally she came to accept me -and I her. More years later we actually grew to like each other.



Took many years

Well damn thats a crazy story. Sadly mines of the opposite, her mom and my mom PUSHED me on my wife and her mom thought I was the bees fucking knees. Because at the time she was dating a fucking SUPER INSANE jealous pot head that still lived with his mom among other shit. Well after me and my now wife really hit it off and she moved in my MIL started to dislike me and try to break us up because her baby sitter and person that did HER job as a mom(Get kids to school/bed/ect other mother things) was gone and she actually had to get off her fat fucking ass and do shit. So what ever still hate my cunt of a mother in law but not much you can do about it. Once again thanks for all your help everyone.

Well damn thats a crazy story. Sadly mines of the opposite, her mom and my mom PUSHED me on my wife and her mom thought I was the bees fucking knees. Because at the time she was dating a fucking SUPER INSANE jealous pot head that still lived with his mom among other shit. Well after me and my now wife really hit it off and she moved in my MIL started to dislike me and try to break us up because her baby sitter and person that did HER job as a mom(Get kids to school/bed/ect other mother things) was gone and she actually had to get off her fat fucking ass and do shit. So what ever still hate my cunt of a mother in law but not much you can do about it. Once again thanks for all your help everyone.

...Justin?

No my names not justin if you have a friend that was in same position lol.

So my wife and I are wanting to have a little addition to the family, and I was wondering if anyone had any advice on how to make it happen faster. Obviously jerking off is out because have to save them for the real thing, and I know about the whole Ovulation thing. But are there any position, or things that will help make it more likely to have a little baby? Also she was on the DEPO shot for 3 years, and i've heard that this could cause it to take a couple years to get pregnant, but then others have said that now that shes off of it that she will be way more likely to get pregnant then normal? Thank you for your help.

Consider the shitty world your child will have to deal with before you consider your own selfish desires.

With our overpopulated world looking to spiral out of control, we need to start thinking smart. One in, one out.

Get your Mrs up the spout, invite granny to the hospital just after the birth and strangle her with surgical tubing.

Everyone's a winner.

With our overpopulated world looking to spiral out of control, we need to start thinking smart. One in, one out.

Every time someone says this it makes me :mad:

Do you not realise how retarded this is? If you don't have kids just because "oh noes the world is overpopulated", then guess what - you may care about it in the "first-world", but nobody in any of the many incredibly backwards countries could care less. All you will get is the population of smart, cultured people dropping and the populations of stupid/uncultured people rising.

So either way, the world is screwed. And it always has been, so it doesn't matter either.

So please cut this bullshit, and have as many kids as you and your wife want.

Where exactly did I say anything about avoiding having children, retard. I think you'll find it's the slaughter of geriatrics I'm in favour of.

Where exactly did I say anything about avoiding having children, retard. I think you'll find it's the slaughter of geriatrics I'm in favour of.

Oh, ok. Please accept my apologies then kind sir.

Docta? Id have to agree with you but you're thinking WAY WAY WAY to small why just kill one old person? Id say everyone that wants to have a baby should have to kill 10-20 people minimum. I am totally down for getting rid of some of this over population, hell if it was up to me nuke the whole middle east there goes a few, all those countries in africa were they killing each other over stupid shit and hacking each other up with machetes just drop a big bomb and kill them all to help them out with doing it a little less painful then machete and many other places.

But being that I want a little mini me incase something happens to me my legacy of fucked up ness can continue. Also being that my wife is mexican I might be able to start an army since shes mexican we probably going to end up with 30 kids and probably end up driving all 30 of them around in a 4 seater car hahahaha. Sorry im a little tipsy. But honestly im all down for having to take a life or two or twenty to be able to bring one in because there is so much fucking garbage in this world.