Ok, mine was 2 nights ago, I just haven't gotten around to posting it. my friend is living alone in an apartment and at the time he had 4$ in his bank account, no groceries and he is unemployed. Being an avid beer thief, I figured I would just steal him a meal or something at a grocery store. we both went into the store, very stoned might i add, and i just started filling up a basket with food. pizza rolls, cinammon rolls, cookies, brownies, big red, pizzas, etc. probably around 40 bucks in groceries. we go to walk out with all of this, so i give my friend my car keys.. and we walk past about 4 clerks who are all seemingly staring at us, and presumably the manager, or assistant manager or something.. we get out of the door and begin to run. an old nigger lady yelled "YALL WRONG FOR DAT" and shortly after we made it to the car. my friend was struggling to unlock the door, and he said "OH I BROKE IT" and i went around to look and there my house key was, broken off in the key hole. we were trying to fish it out but an employee came sprinting out the door at us. we made one last attempt to fish out the key then i was just like "we're caught!" and it was so surreal. i picked up the food and gave it to him and said "haha, it was just a joke!".. he took the food, paused, and said, "no it wasn't' and walked in the store. we got away scot free but no food. and it completely blew my high.

your stories?

Some bitch off duty cop here got busted doing that. She got away with it because she said she was getting her credit card from the car.

Your friend tried to unlock a car with a house key?

No wonder he is unemployed and broke...

shit i got so many It would fill up 2 pages fuk.

I got to hittin that evan williams and said fuck it im tired of being broke fuck all this i need some money. so i went out on the prowl once it got dark walkin around..

found a nice place under construction, stole their ladders and all their copper.

next day i cashed in made 30 bux. not bad for 1 hour of work. came back the next night did the same thing made 40 the next day.. next day I already got a good buzz but im thinkin hell, i already hit this bitch 2 times but since i needed some money I went on back the long way and cased the place for a minute, didn't see shit so i creep around army style crawlin on the ground when a sheriff pulls up and starts shinin his lights where i was about to hit up. he was over at the place then shined his lights then sat back in his car and moved it back a bit.. i lay there for a good 30 minutes till that fucker finally left.

once it was clear i went back was about to cut off some big copper water pipes when i noticed they had the electricity already rigged up, light switches and live wire layin around the pipes. if I would've busted that shit it would've fried my ass so i said fuck it.

I was picking a lock at a university building once (in a walled-in patio area), with a metal bar gate behind me. Somehow I didn't hear the car until they were right there, but I turned and froze as the on-campus police went slowly cruising by, three feet from the gate. If I hadn't been dressed all in black or if he'd been paying a little more attention, I would've been fucked. :)

When SWIM first started lifting, she thought maybe there wouldn't be a security strip inside the box of a 4 gig flash drive. So she put it in her purse and walked out. When the alarm sounded, one of the cashiers just looked at her and said "Do you have anything?" so she looked bewildered and said "No!" and walked out.

Being a girl helps a lot.

Your friend tried to unlock a car with a house key?

No wonder he is unemployed and broke...

I whip an old Monte Carlo. There are separate keys for the door and ignition and the door key is very similar to my house key.. same color, same general shape, etc..

What kind of fucking homo breaks the key off in the key hole to a lock that the key doesn't even fit into? You should have had him take the keys and unlock the door a minute ahead of you running out with the food. More success.

I whip an old Monte Carlo. There are separate keys for the door and ignition and the door key is very similar to my house key.. same color, same general shape, etc..

Gm and there cracked out ideas...

Anyway heres my story

swim was doing some carding at a wallmart then suddenly the shit hit the fan swim new something was wrong so he started walking really fast as soon as he got out of the door he started running fast as fuck. 3 wallmart LP were chasing him one nigger tripped over the curb running across the street swim made it to another store parking lot but was confronted by a lp he told swim that hes putting him under arrest swim simply said fuck off i didnt do anything wrong you cant arrest me im not on wallmart property he continued to run around the parking lot in circles till his buddy showed up and swim dove into his car his buddy was one good wheel man and got the fuck out of there fast a walmart lp attempted to stall him by standing infront of the car but he just kept on flooring it eventualyl the fuck moved out of the way. Moral of the story always practice your getaway plan and talk it over with your crew thoroughly

What kind of fucking homo breaks the key off in the key hole to a lock that the key doesn't even fit into? You should have had him take the keys and unlock the door a minute ahead of you running out with the food. More success.

nah i figure we had about 30 seconds of just standing there with the key broken off before the dude was by us. if i had just handed the groceries off to him and opened my car up, it would of been a success. but your idea would of been fine if i wasn't stoned and paranoid of being tackled if i was alone walking out.

In the beginning of my junior year of high school, my friend's dad was in the hospital with lung cancer, and he'd gotten into the habit of taking the family car and going on adventures with random friends since nobody in his family would really notice.

One night around 2 am, he came and got me, and we went to his old neighborhood, where he vaguely taught me how to drive, and we wanderd around for almost an hour. At 3 am or so, we went to his apartment and sent some IMs to a friend of ours, saying things like 'wake up wake up' and 'were coming to get you', then we left.

My friend had his permit, but no license, and we were both 16 at the time. The age to be out after curfew in my town is 17, but we really weren't worrying about that. We headed out to the friend that we'd been messaging's house, and on the way, passed our town's police station. We didn't think much of it until we were stuck at a stop light, and my friend noticed a cop car behind us. He pointed it out to me, and I told him that at least we don't have any reason to worry about them pulling us over and us getting busted. That's when he told me that the license on the car was suspended. So, of course, we started worrying since the cop had plenty of time at the stop light to look up the license if he wanted. We decided to take a turn into a neighborhood as soon as the light changed, to see if we could avoid the cop.

Of course, as soon as we make the turn, the lights start flashing. So my friend pulls over, and turns to me. "Ok... start crying. Here's the story..." He told me that we'd say that our friend was talking about killing himself, and we were on a rescue mission. As soon as the cop comes up to the car, my friend rolls down the window, and says "I don't have my license, but I have a permit and the registration for the car..." We explain about our 'suicidal friend' and they have my friend go park the car and put us in the back of one of their cars and take us to our friend's house as we tell him about our friend.

The officers go inside his house as we wait outside with the back-up they called and talk to him. He completley contradicts our story and denies everything they ask him. They also look at the open IM from us, which made us very glad we weren't specific with the messages. We stayed outside talking to the Leiutenant they called, who was telling us that in the 15 years he'd been working he'd seen a lot of liars and bullshit, but he could tell that our story was true, and we were just trying to help. He said we were heroes... :p

The friend I was driving with stayed over at our 'suicidal' friend's house to help him out, since he'd been in similar situations before(that option was given to him instead of going to the hospital and getting admitted), and I was taken home by another police officer, who I talked to about life guarding and theatre, and other random stuff...

And that's my story of bullshitting my way out of quite a few violations. :D

swim and a friend of his were out trying to blow a payphone up so they could grab the money and run. as they lay in wait the fuse on the bomb ,burning a police paddy wagon comes around the corner.
BOOOM. The police light up the roof and swim and his friend backyard hop like fuck. More paddy's are called out and swim and his friend end up sitting tight in a school for 2 hours.

Ok well I was selling rock for a little bit and some hooker tells me about this guy that sells booze after the liquor stores close and he has no problem pulling out $300 for every date out of a big shoebox full of money and smokes her up with his big bags of weed he keeps in his room.

So I give her a couple $20 rocks and kick her outta my car. I go grab a gun and load it up then go pick up my buddy (it's about 5am) So I go and wake his ass up and we go to McDonalds for some breakfast. I had a muffin and a coffee. Anyways we left McDonalds and drove over there. We parked accross a feild to the guys house. It's just starting to get light out so we go up, I have the gun and he has a can of bearmace. I have a shitty knee so I get him to kick the back door down. Little did I know this kids a fucking idiot and thinks you kick doors down like in the movies. He kicks it 3-4 times and it's not even budging so I start kicking it too, by this time one of the guy that lives there is at the door holding it shut yelling to his room mate to call 911, the door isn't going down so I smash the window and boost my buddy up through there, while i'm doing this, they're both running out the front door. Well I find about $40,000 in the shoebox in the guys office and see there's weed and shit all over the place so I grab the money and run to my car and stuff the cash into my stash spot and lock it. I run back (shoulda left the gun) and get inside (oh yeah the idiot I was with sprayed bearmace when he went through the window so he was running around blind and I was coughing and shit but I found a couple bags of weed and stuffed them in my jacket. I'm rummaging around grabbing jewllery and shit and hear *SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH* *WEOW WEOW WEOW* obviously it was the cops. So we both run out the back and the cops are RIIIGHT fuckin there, they yell FREEZE blah blah so I pull my gun out and threw it in the bush and hopped the fence along with my buddy. I only get about 50 feet and get tackled because I have a shitty knee. My buddy gets quite alot farther but they caught him too. Cop cuffs me and reads me my rights, searches me pulls out about a half pound of bud, a half ball of crack and 4 flaps of heroin.

They bring me to the car and i'm sitting there and they bring a big evidence bag and there all laughing saying jackpot, I ask the guy did they find a buncha weed in the house or something and he's like "nope but we did find a loaded gun in the bushes with a round in the chamber, and by the way your being charged with that at the moment aswell." So I choose to use my right to remain silent and they bring me to the station. I end up getting charged with..

Home invasion
Robbery
Possession of a firearm
Possession of a stolen firearm
Possession of a fire arm with the serial number removed
Possession of a firearm used in a robbery
Possession of marijuana
Possession of crack cocaine
Possession of heroin
Fleeing from police
Resisting arrest

I sit in holding cells for 2 days in a bunny suit (paper suit used when your clothes are confiscated) Got tested for gun shot residue and eventually got shipped to jail. I spent 4 months on remand and convinced everyone I was a heroin addict and found the gun in the house I thought was abandonned. Since my co accused went with the same story the judge decided to release me at sentancing aslong as I went on a drug program and did couselling with 2 years probation and got my DNA taken.

Well my co accused wasn't as lucky because he just so happened to be on bail for home invasion and unlawful confinement (tieing people up in their own house) he got out on bail into some program but he'll be getting years for sure.

*retardation*

Who the fuck brings along there crack and heroin on a home invasion?

Yes officer! I would like another year in prison!

Troll or crackhead?

-F☺rd

Ok, mine was 2 nights ago, I just haven't gotten around to posting it. my friend is living alone in an apartment and at the time he had 4$ in his bank account, no groceries and he is unemployed. Being an avid beer thief, I figured I would just steal him a meal or something at a grocery store. we both went into the store, very stoned might i add, and i just started filling up a basket with food. pizza rolls, cinammon rolls, cookies, brownies, big red, pizzas, etc. probably around 40 bucks in groceries. we go to walk out with all of this, so i give my friend my car keys.. and we walk past about 4 clerks who are all seemingly staring at us, and presumably the manager, or assistant manager or something.. we get out of the door and begin to run. an old nigger lady yelled "YALL WRONG FOR DAT" and shortly after we made it to the car. my friend was struggling to unlock the door, and he said "OH I BROKE IT" and i went around to look and there my house key was, broken off in the key hole. we were trying to fish it out but an employee came sprinting out the door at us. we made one last attempt to fish out the key then i was just like "we're caught!" and it was so surreal. i picked up the food and gave it to him and said "haha, it was just a joke!".. he took the food, paused, and said, "no it wasn't' and walked in the store. we got away scot free but no food. and it completely blew my high.

your stories?

This failure is completely your fault. Way to trust a broke, jobless, loser of a friend with a critical piece of the puzzle. A loser of his own doing completely.

One day about 5 years ago I was riding the bus home from school, and decided I wanted to swing by my cousin's house. Along the way decided to stop at the K-mart that's on the way to where I was headed. I got thirsty and figgured I'd steal an energy drink before I continue on to my cousin's house. I figured it would be no problem because I've had good luck with sporting goods and jewlry. So I get the drink, walk through an aisle, and this guy passes me up and puts a cd holding case into his sweater pocket. I walk out and A charity beggar says "look out bruh" and points his cane at the door; I look back and see the shoplifter, and thought "oh fuck". I tossed the drink behind a vending machine and continued walking. Sure enough, that little prick was an lp. He grabs me and searches me while his partner seemed to come out of thin air with A taser in his hand. They found nothing on me, but they wouldn't let me leave. Then A store employee comes out and starts fucking with the bikes in front of the store. I make A run for it, push down the employee, grab A bike, and got the fuck out of there. I sold the bike to my cousin, bought some weed, and got high in the parking lot later that night. I have not seen a bike in front of any major department store since.

I will tell you one of the stupidest stories you have ever heard and YES i am a dumbass..

I was in eighth grade and me and my buddy decided hey.. lets sell some parsley as weed. We put some parsley in a bag(about 1/8) and on the bus to school he gives me a 4 inch piece of wood with 4 screws drilled in it just incase someone tries to beat me up for selling them spice. I go tryin to sell it all throughout the day with no luck and had hidden the 'weapon' in a buddies locker. Homeroom was coming up, last hour of the day so I put all the shit in my backpack in my locker. Principle comes and asks me to get my backpack and follow him.. I go in there and see this faggot that i was tryin to sell it to crying cause he got caught with chew, he narc'd me out and they found the parsley and weapon on me. Called the cops and my mom, then sent me home with her. I was charged with possession of a controlled substance with intent to deliver and possession of a concealed weapon and suspended for 10 days almost expelled.

At the same time i had went into a barn by my house and stabbed some tractor radiators... low and behold the cops come to my fucking house and my mom makes me tell them everything.. I go to court and was being charged with: possession w/ intent to deliver, possession of a concealed weapon, breaking and entering and destruction of property. I was fucking 13 years old.. luckily got most of it dropped and all of it expunged when I turned 18. Dumbest shit I have ever done.

Probably when i was in walmart when i was like 12 and i stole a pack of ligters.. And had like 3 lps following me then i somehow ditched them. But I was like 12 so it wasnt as hardcore. but then there was this onetime that swim and some random fuck went to light this kids mailbox on fire because hes a little cock sucker and we were high as fuck. So swim had a 2 liter bottle of gas and dumped it on the mailbox and lit it, but being the dumbass that swim is dropped the bottle of gas and it caught on fire. So swim picked it up and started running with it. Swim looked back and there was a huge trail of fire running through 2 peoples yard. So swim and random fuck ran and ran and ran until the fire whistle was ringing.