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View Full Version : what's the best way to smuggle children onto an airplane


Aquabania
2009-01-09, 02:46
i was thinking just a big bag with lead around it so that they couldn't use x-ray to find the precious cargo. but waht about gluing hair to their face and bringing them in a monkey cage? but this would only work with darker skinned children, and the white ones fetch a much higher price.

alooha from hell
2009-01-09, 03:06
:)put stilts on their shoes and make them wear long pants. that way they look more like adults. make them wear sunglasses and really big headgear. don't let them speak, answer everything for them, explaining that they are from some foreign country or something stupid. niggerland mayhaps. :p

Fate
2009-01-09, 03:07
How about in pieces?

NeonMonkeys
2009-01-09, 05:22
How about in pieces?

This.

resmeplz
2009-01-09, 05:25
buy them a ticket, knock them out with some sort of drug and carry them on while lightly joking to the ticket lady that you stayed up late with him watching cartoons.

psychedelicious
2009-01-09, 05:40
I know this is a dumb thread, but I just want to add that surrounding a child in lead is, in fact, a bad idea.

Aquabania
2009-01-10, 21:14
some good ideas but i'm trying to smuggle them preferably without buying a ticket to cut down on costs

i know i'd have to pay a little extra for the monkey-cage but not as much as a ticket

JumpRopinJesus
2009-01-11, 04:07
You sound like a great parent.

Valkyr
2009-01-11, 05:33
how old is the kid? you might be able to get him through for free.
If not putting him in the luggage wont work because thats kept in a depressurised part of the plane. So he would die (then again dead children fetch a price as well).i agree you should buy the ticket and knock him out. Oh and the monkey cage is just retarded.

Pringles
2009-01-11, 05:45
How about in pieces?

This! And say they are parts for a nigger doll.:eek: JK

biggz-k24
2009-01-11, 05:54
Switch Roles.

Put HIM in YOUR butt this time.

+Casper+
2009-01-12, 16:09
Switch Roles.

Put HIM in YOUR butt this time.

lulz.

libido
2009-01-13, 03:40
monkey cages are expensive! dog cages on the other hand are great! or if the kids small enough just stick em in a bag like those little paris hilton purses, stick it in there with a little dog.

Another idea is hallow out one of those huge sumo wrestler suits, stick the kid inside it (use one of those kid carriers that straps to your chest) then layer it with clothes

MajorMinor
2009-01-13, 18:59
oh my god, you have maddy don't you.

ILTST4
2009-01-13, 19:16
Put the kid in a condom and eat him/her. Then shit him out once you've reached your destination. Don't tell any potential buyers about this though as this may lower the price.

Aquabania
2009-01-15, 06:44
Another idea is hallow out one of those huge sumo wrestler suits, stick the kid inside it (use one of those kid carriers that straps to your chest) then layer it with clothes

http://blogs.dallasobserver.com/sportatorium/GuinnessBrilliant.jpg