So I've been with this girl now for almost six months. She's an amazing girl and I'll admit it I love her more than anything. We hang out constantly (almost every day) and we are both seniors in high school.

I have one huge problem...

We are both going to college next year (shes going Pre-med and I'm going into Criminal Justice. No need to worry &T:cool:) That's where my problem comes in.

I want to head off to college and get a fresh new start. I don't really want to have a girlfriend when I enter college but it's going to be so hard to end thing's when the end of the year comes around because I'm attached to her so much.

I haven't picked a college and neither has she, but the only reason she hasn't picked one is because I haven't decided where I want to go to college. (Meaning she basically want's to follow me into college so we can be together, which I don't really know if I want to do.)

She wants to stay together all through college and try to make this work but I can't decide whether or not I should break up with her now while there is still some left in the school year so it won't be as hard to let go of her or whether I should wait until the end of the year to break things off with her so i can stay happy for the time being but be completely devastated after the breakup when the year is over. My logic is it will be a lot easier now than it will be at the end of the year.

So bottom line my questions are:

If I should just stay with her and try to make things work, because I don't know if I will be able to handle a relationship in college.

What are the chances of staying in a happy relationship that is in the process of transferring from high school to college and if there are any Totseans that have done so, and how that relationship turned out.

I also want to know if I do decide to break up with her, how should i go about doing it? Because I want to end things on a good note and be able to keep her as a close friend.

NOTE: If you guy's find this confusing, let me know what your confused about and I'll try to help you out. I'll answer any questions.

Stay with her and try to make it work, just like, communicate over the phone, and see each other when possible, it's not worth breaking off such a good relationship, and you's are BOTH going to be busy with study.

This is something I've thought about too. Here's my best idea, take it or leave it: Tell her you love her, but you don't want to put her through the stress of having to deal with a potentially long-distance relationship in college. Promise her that you'll stay in contact, and after you're both done school, and if you haven't found anyone that makes you happier, you'll get back together and give it another shot. Basically, it's a nicer way of saying, "I think we should see other people". Also, if you go through college and you still want to be with her, there's still a chance of that happening. Just an idea.

Make sure you let her know that you're not crazy about the idea of you two attending the same college. If you let her know, it would give her a chance to explore some colleges that she's interested in; it would also give you two an opportunity to talk about some of your concerns. It's not really fair for her if you wait until the last minute to break up with her, it will only makes things harder. The sooner you guys talk about this, the better.

I'll admit it I love her more than anything.

this is bullshit, if it were true then you wouldn't want to "start fresh." Just stop lying to your self.

I am facing virtually the exact same situation. Good luck with your problem, brother.

- Tom

this is bullshit, if it were true then you wouldn't want to "start fresh." Just stop lying to your self.

This.

You need to break up with her. The fact that you're thinking about ending it so you can be free in college shows that you really don't have the level of dedication that's necessary to make it work. There's nothing wrong with that, but stop deluding yourself. If you wanted to be with her there wouldn't be any ambiguity; you just would be.

My boyfriend and I were together in high school for two years before he left to go to university. It's been 4 months that he's been at his school 3 hours away, but we're doing fine. But the reason we're still together is because we both genuinely wanted to stay together. There was no weighing the options...there was no period of being unsure. It's clear the you're stuck between doing what you want to do and what you think you're supposed to do, but don't make a decision for anyone else. You won't be doing her a favor by staying in relationship where you've got one foot out the door; you'll only grow to resent her. Do what you feel will make you happiest, and by the sounds of it, that means breaking up with her and getting your clean slate.

I was in this exact same situation. I loved the girl, but basically didn't want to be with her in college.

My advice: end it very soon, do NOT wait until the end, it will get very messy.

And you CAN love her a ton and yet not want to be with her at the same time. It's kind of a grey area...you love the girl a ton, yet you just want to...not be with her. I'd be lying if I said wanting to sex lots of other girls wasn't a big part of it, but that's not all...you just want a clean slate and stuff sometimes. She'll probably see it as "I want to fuck lots of girls" which may be partly true, but you've really gotta sell the fact that you truly do just want to start with a clean slate.

If its worth it, try to salvage a friendship from it. It'll probably be way harder for her, so that's why I say end it now...if you end it right before you leave, there will be no chance of a friendship ever happening. Don't make the same mistake I did.

This is something I've thought about too. Here's my best idea, take it or leave it: Tell her you love her, but you don't want to put her through the stress of having to deal with a potentially long-distance relationship in college. Promise her that you'll stay in contact, and after you're both done school, and if you haven't found anyone that makes you happier, you'll get back together and give it another shot. Basically, it's a nicer way of saying, "I think we should see other people". Also, if you go through college and you still want to be with her, there's still a chance of that happening. Just an idea.

I would be pretty insulted if someone said that to me. It's basically saying, "Yeah, I'm gonna go look for someone better, but if I can't find anyone better then I hope I can get back together with you." Bullshit.

Just break up with her man. Then she won't follow you to college and you can do what you want. Just make sure you know what it is that you want.

i say you try your hardest to apply to different colleges, once you have some distance, you can almost gurantee that it the relationship will fall apart on its own.

if not just end it over the fone.

If you cant stay together and try to make it work just say nothing.

After some time of not seeing each other both of you will understand. Shell start dating, so will you.


Either that or you can fake your death.