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View Full Version : Work things out or move on?


helladamnleet
2009-01-11, 09:37
Well, my fiance (let's just call her Sarah) dumped me on Christmas day because she found out I was talking to her sister, and I'll be a man and admit I was texting things I probably shouldn't have, but I had no intentions of doing anything with her, and will probably never meet her in person anyway. Now the thing about Sarah is she tend to bend the truth, has been acting shady lately, and seems to be looking for any excuse to start an argument, but I do love her, and she IS pregnant with my child.

Well, about a week before Christmas I met up with an old friend (lets call her Jen), and ended up smoking some drugs with her and a friend, and she dropped mad hints the whole night about needing to find a boyfriend who isn't an asshole, and doesn't hit women, and will stay loyal. Well, when she dropped me off at home I gave her my number (just because I've known her for years and would like to hang out with her again), and she ended up getting in touch with me on Christmas Eve, and we started hanging out pretty much ever day a few days later, which means we were a LOT closer than we were before (Before we only really saw each other through mutual friends).

Well, after hanging out for a few days it came out that we both liked each other, and she wanted to get to know me more, and almost every time we see each other we get a little closer, starting off with her being my date to Murderman143's New Years party, to sleeping in the same room, to sleeping in the same bed, cuddling while watching TV, and eventually we started cuddling while we sleep.

Now her and I are both shy, so I haven't made a move unless she showed interest, like when we started holding hands it was because we were watching TV laying down at kind of an L (she was laying up the bed, and I was laying across), and I put my hand on her arm, and she started inching her hand towards mine so I grabbed it and she got a firm grip on it, and I can feel a lot of emotion coming from her just by how close she gets to me when we cuddle or hold hands or anything, and if we're cuddling and I so much as swallow too hard she'll tighten her grip on me and pull me (closer? I'm behind her, so I'm not sure).

Well, like I said, we're shy, and she shows a lot of interest, so I want to try something like kiss her, but I don't want to make things awkward, and I can't forget about baby mama.

So, totse, I need advice from you on what I should do here.

arquin
2009-01-11, 11:34
You already know what you want to/will do.

Chichi
2009-01-11, 15:48
You don't need a new girl. Get back with your old one (you said you still love her).

Seriously, we don't need more bastard kids in the world. :mad:

starscream
2009-01-11, 18:29
You don't need a new girl. Get back with your old one (you said you still love her).

Seriously, we don't need more bastard kids in the world. :mad:

3 posts of you i read and 3 angry faces
i recommend anger management

helladamnleet
2009-01-12, 01:25
You don't need a new girl. Get back with your old one (you said you still love her).

Seriously, we don't need more bastard kids in the world. :mad:

You know what, I never would have thought a 12 year old would give good advice! I'll just get back with her, marry her, maybe even get her pregnant again, and she can go ahead and dump me again, divorce me, take half my stuff, and I can live happily ever after!

I'm glad you took the time to read my post and give me such great advice! Can I give you some advice now? It takes two to tango. Just because I love her, she doesn't automatically become my girl for the rest of my life. Women have this thing called "freedom" that allows them to choose their partner. :mad:

Some Choad
2009-01-12, 04:48
What would you expect lol???

Chichi
2009-01-12, 05:40
You know what, I never would have thought a 12 year old would give good advice! I'll just get back with her, marry her, maybe even get her pregnant again, and she can go ahead and dump me again, divorce me, take half my stuff, and I can live happily ever after!

I'm glad you took the time to read my post and give me such great advice! Can I give you some advice now? It takes two to tango. Just because I love her, she doesn't automatically become my girl for the rest of my life. Women have this thing called "freedom" that allows them to choose their partner. :mad:

Well thankyou.

Malkog
2009-01-12, 06:27
Move on man. It doesn't sound like you're committed to your ex-fiance at all. I mean, I only got that from your post, you spent a while talking this other girl up though. If you are seriously into your ex then get back with her, you've got a child etc, but you're texting her sister and talking/cuddling with this other girl.

I'd move on or you'll only be unhappy.

helladamnleet
2009-01-12, 08:21
Move on man. It doesn't sound like you're committed to your ex-fiance at all. I mean, I only got that from your post, you spent a while talking this other girl up though. If you are seriously into your ex then get back with her, you've got a child etc, but you're texting her sister and talking/cuddling with this other girl.

I'd move on or you'll only be unhappy.

Yeah, it's mainly because after hanging around this other girl I can compare her to my ex an realize I really never felt that much love from her at all. I was really the only one who ever put any effort into the relationship, and she's going to have to try pretty hard to get things back the way they used to be.

And yeah, I was texting her sister, and I'm cuddling with this other girl, but like I said, I haven't even kissed her, so it's strictly being friendly atm.

speters17
2009-01-12, 23:20
you must be some kind of retard. why are you engaged with a kid on the way if you dont even like her and prefer her sister? and i dont think you can call 'close cuddling whilst sleeping together' something that friends do too often.

helladamnleet
2009-01-13, 01:37
you must be some kind of retard. why are you engaged with a kid on the way if you dont even like her and prefer her sister? and i dont think you can call 'close cuddling whilst sleeping together' something that friends do too often.

I don't "prefer her sister". I've never even met her sister. And 'round these parts cuddling could easily be just close friends, but I do see all of your points, and will take all of it into close consideration.

Cpt.Winters
2009-01-13, 01:41
This thread is weird because only the topic is about the first paragraph, while the remaining several paragraphs are about something else, and the last sentence is a new question all together.

Assuming this isn't a troll,

have you fiance get an abortion, then just keep pimpin'.

Silverfuck
2009-01-13, 02:22
You made your bed, now lay in it. You obviously don't love your girlfriend enough to be with her, as is clear from your actions. When you love someone, you don't send inappropriate texts to their sister and then, after they dump you, find someone new in two weeks.

Don't try and work things out if you think it's what you're supposed to do, for the sake of your child, for convenience, whatever, because relationships are not built on what's convenient. If you want to be with her and you're willing to put in the hard work, and you trust that she will too, then try and patch things up. But if you're already straying...I wouldn't put too much stock in that working out.

blaksmith666
2009-01-13, 18:11
How long were you dating/engaged?
That doesn't say how much you love her but it does say how attached to her you may be.

Does the new girl know that your having a kid with the old girl?

If not then you need to tell her, she may decide to disapear.</howeveritsspelled>

If you really care about the old girl then the decision is obvious, if the new one already means more, again obvious decision.

helladamnleet
2009-01-13, 19:53
blaksmith666 wrote:
How long were you dating/engaged?
That doesn't say how much you love her but it does say how attached to her you may be.

Does the new girl know that your having a kid with the old girl?

If not then you need to tell her, she may decide to disapear.</howeveritsspelled>

If you really care about the old girl then the decision is obvious, if the new one already means more, again obvious decision.

I was dating her for almost a year, and was engaged for 3 months..

Yes, the new girl knows I'm having a kid.

Yeah, I cared about the new girl, but I still care about my ex a lot more. We just have so much history together. I can't just let it go like that.

You made your bed, now lay in it. You obviously don't love your girlfriend enough to be with her, as is clear from your actions. When you love someone, you don't send inappropriate texts to their sister and then, after they dump you, find someone new in two weeks.

Don't try and work things out if you think it's what you're supposed to do, for the sake of your child, for convenience, whatever, because relationships are not built on what's convenient. If you want to be with her and you're willing to put in the hard work, and you trust that she will too, then try and patch things up. But if you're already straying...I wouldn't put too much stock in that working out.

Excuse me, but you don't know the entire situation. I tried calling her about 100 times a day, had people text her, and only got a response when she NEEDED something, so before you classify me as the bad guy, make sure you have all your facts.


UPDATE: This new girl isn't all she made herself out to be. She's going around talking shit about me stealing someone's rings (which I never did, and she KNOWS I never did) and traded them for 3 hits of meth (which I would never do {trade the rings for only 3 hits}), so I'm thinking my only big question now is work things out with my ex, or just try to move on.