Alright- I am turning over a bank job in my head.
I have a place to stash the money and the items needed that is of my property.
I am thinking of using a push bike (hidden) inconspicuosly around the corner.
Fresh black clothes, balaclava and black cotton gloves. I do not think I will bring any kind of gun, they(bank staff) are told to comply.
I would drop somethings heavy at the door (then pick up on way out) to stop them closing it automatically.
Probably spend less than 150 seconds in the bank if possible.
My one question is that of the exploding die packets, how do I circumvent this?
Then Wait for 6 months before gradually starting to use the money from it.
Everything would be stashed at the abanoned house, I would burn the clothes when I get time.

I have no criminal record and I do not fit the profile of a criminal. The bank is in a fairly "soft" area so I do not expect too much resistance .

Thoughts? Ideas?

If I was to ever steal from a bank (I'm not implying that I ever will try to) this is how I would do it.

I would disguise myself in a wig, makeup, body padding to give myself a different shape, different clothes, and I would get shoes that can raise my height by a few centimeters. As I walk to the bank and into it, I would walk differently than normal. I would write on a deposit slip that I have a gun in my coat and demand the money. I would then put the cash into a briefcase or bag or something, and casually walk out. As soon as I get a few meters away or so, I would jog to the nearest public restroom or something, put the money in a seperate bag, then take off the wig, makeup, body padding etc. And change into new clothes. Then I would catch a taxi home, hide the money in my home (I mean HIDE it, like in the walls), and after a decent while start using it.

But, I live in New Zealand, and we don't have the ink packets or whatever they are. So you'd have to come up with your own way of circumventing it. Also, would someone care to explain the ink packets to me?

Dye packets are secretly inserted by the teller with the stolen money, exploding and covering it all in permanent dye. People are so used to this now that most bank robbers will order the tellers not to use dye or tracers, but probably wouldn't recognize it if they did.

Banks can also have cash drawers rigged to set off a silent alarm if the last bill is pulled out of its slot, and sucker funds (bundles of cash designed to look like a lot more than they are, a couple hundreds on each end and nothing but ones in the middle)...it's getting to the point where your likely profit isn't even worth it anymore.

It's time to move on to payday spots. And you should kill all the tellers, because you will be smashing furniture, and trembling with rage at the thought they had the audacity to try to put dye in the money. I really want to just walk into a bank with a Glock 21, with a 25 round clip, and just put it in some robot, informal bitch, and just pull the trigger like 15 times to the face, at point blank range, just to make sure theres a closed casket funeral.

Proper Disguise
Patron Management(a shotgun is about the most intimidating small arm you can pack)
Cellphone Jammer
Several Getaway Routes
Police Scanner


One fellow had 10 speed bicycle for a getaway vehicle. Because he was smart in planning routes and calculating police response times, he got away clean with every robbery, vanishing into the woods.

He was finally caught because his portfolio, if you will, was poorly hidden in the forest and was found by a fucktard teenage kid who decided to report the robber rather than blackmail him.


Keep in mind you will be lucky to get more than a few grand from a smaller bank.

Here is what you do: buy/steal a van. Change the plates of course. What you need in the van is a ramp and a remote control vehicle. I mean something you would see on Robot Wars like this. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foster-Miller_TALON) You may also need another rc vehicle with a tray for the tellers to throw money onto.

On the day of the robbery you drive up to the front of the bank, open the door, let the rc vehicles out and drive off. It works best if you have at least three people - one van driver and two to operate the rc vehicles. Tie a note to one of the rc vehicles saying this is a robbery. Even better would be to have a walkie talkie so you can talk to the tellers. The tellers throw money on the tray of the rc vehicle, you drive the van around, pick up the robots and drive off.

Because it is unusual you might get away doing this a few times on one day. Works even better if you call in fake robberies to other places. Or get a local gang to conduct robberies on the same day.

These are stupid, unrealistic plans. You don't need high tech ninja tactics to rob a fucking bank. You just need to not get dye/GPS, not let your vehicle description be gotten, and not let yourself be identifiable by surveillance.

And, you need to figure out how close the nearest cop is, to estimate response time. If it is less then 2 minutes, the robbery won't work, unless you hand a note, and drive throught unvideoed areas of the lot, and tell the bitch to not drop the dime, for 10 minutes. Any commercial robbery for less then 10,000 isn't worth it , in my opinion.

Actually, all the responses were good, except the moron above me. Phone jammer is too hard to get, and probably don't stop alarms, and scanners don't pick everything up.

Metal Detector. is a good idea, to pick up GPS, and hopefully, dye will also have metal components.

If you're worried about GPS/transponders, build yourself a RF blocking cage in which you can safely locate and destroy the transponder.

Phil, don't know if you were referring to me as a moron, or the jackass talking about RC cars.

A police scanner and cellphone jammer are only going to run you a couple hundred dollars total, and are very common.

The jammer is to prevent people from calling the police behind your back, not to stop alarms. It might buy you crucial time. There are portable ones which will jam the signal for around 20-50 meters and won't run you too much. Nor are they hard to find.

It's pretty fucking simple to tell if a police scanner works or not. Turn it on, see if you pickup chatter and dispatches.
If you really want to be certain, call in a bank robbery from a phone that can't be traced back to you and see if you pick up the dispatch call on your scanner.

^You actually gave some of the best advice. It was the post above me, as indicated in the bottom of my post.

And, I believe jammers are illegal in the United States, where I live, since I haven't done robberies, to afford to travel.

^You actually gave some of the best advice. It was the post above me, as indicated in the bottom of my post.

And, I believe jammers are illegal in the United States, where I live, since I haven't done robberies, to afford to travel.


Ah, thanks.


Jammers are illegal. As are scanners. As is robbing banks.

Actually, all the responses were good, except the moron above me..

Fuck you...


Phil, don't know if you were referring to me as a moron, or the jackass talking about RC cars.

...and fuck you.

Unless you want to spend the rest of your life in prison then remote control vehicles are a good idea.

Meanwhile those who follow my idea live a wealthy and free life.

Scanners are not illegal, unless they became recently. And, if the jammers are illegal, enlighten us on how to obtain them.
I assume you are in Australia, scince it is 2:45 in the morning here.

Fuck you...



...and fuck you.

Unless you want to spend the rest of your life in prison then remote control vehicles are a good idea.

Meanwhile those who follow my idea live a wealthy and free life.

I know this isn't obvious to you, but IF YOU HAVE ACCESS TO REMOTE CONTROLLED VEHICLES, YOU DON'T NEED TO ROB A FUCKING BANK!

"liek, i am teh 1337 hitman, i charge teh 100 million dollerz and i dissolve teh bodies in a tub, and grind teh bones into dustlolololol"

Scanners are not illegal, unless they became recently. And, if the jammers are illegal, enlighten us on how to obtain them.
I assume you are in Australia, scince it is 2:45 in the morning here.

Nah, Im in the US. Kind of a night owl.

Scanners are illegal when used for 'aiding criminal activity'. In other words, it is highly suspicious to have one, and it can be used against you if they choose to prosecute you.

Yet you can buy them over the counter no questions asked, as there are still legit uses for them. Same thing for cellphone jammers. Some places where cellphones aren't permitted for courtesy's sake, jammers are legal to use. You can buy the fuckers online. Google it or check Ebay.

I know this isn't obvious to you, but IF YOU HAVE ACCESS TO REMOTE CONTROLLED VEHICLES, YOU DON'T NEED TO ROB A FUCKING BANK!

"liek, i am teh 1337 hitman, i charge teh 100 million dollerz and i dissolve teh bodies in a tub, and grind teh bones into dustlolololol"

I didn't say you needed to purchase remote controlled vehicle. You could build something out of a self propelled, tracked wheelbarrow and a gun for less than $1,000. If you are such a good criminal you can steal the parts needed to build the vehicle.

I didn't say you needed to purchase remote controlled vehicle. You could build something out of a self propelled, tracked wheelbarrow and a gun for less than $1,000. If you are such a good criminal you can steal the parts needed to build the vehicle.

It is feasible if you've got the knowhow, and would be funny as hell. I say go with it. Post back with a story and a link to the news story so we know you aren't lying.

If you've got the savvy to build the robot, it probably wouldn't be much more work for you to transmit a live video feed either. ;)

Dye packets are secretly inserted by the teller with the stolen money, exploding and covering it all in permanent dye. People are so used to this now that most bank robbers will order the tellers not to use dye or tracers, but probably wouldn't recognize it if they did.

Banks can also have cash drawers rigged to set off a silent alarm if the last bill is pulled out of its slot, and sucker funds (bundles of cash designed to look like a lot more than they are, a couple hundreds on each end and nothing but ones in the middle)...it's getting to the point where your likely profit isn't even worth it anymore.

wth are tracers? I know what dye packs are but never heard of tracers

wth are tracers? I know what dye packs are but never heard of tracers

Tracers are used to trace the location of the money. AKA GPS


Also, RC cars are stupid as hell. No one is going to put money on a tray or whatever on a fucking toy.

Tracers are used to trace the location of the money. AKA GPS


Also, RC cars are stupid as hell. No one is going to put money on a tray or whatever on a fucking toy.

Hmm, you could add something to transmit your voice, then you'd say something like "this robot has a bomb inside it, put $_______ in the tray. You could also have 2 robots, one with a fake bomb and one to carry the money to you. That might work better because you could say, "Robot 1 has a bomb inside it. Put the money in robot 2's tray. If I find that the money has traces, dye packs, or anything else robot 1 will explode."

Oh man, I could do so many cool things with robots, I should learn how to build them.

Just go inside and pretend your playing rsv2 , and just kill everyone.

to find a dye(and tear gas) pack: fan the money, but MAKE SURE YOU FAN IT WELL. they cut holes in the middle of real bills, so you have to bend the whole strap of bills to make sure there is nothing rigid in it. you should be able to bend completely in half, or fan the bills so that you can see part of the face on each. they are instructed to give a dye pack even if you say not to, because most robbers are crackhead idiots who don't know what the fuck a dye pack is.

the dye will probably be in 20s.

in a normal robbery they are instructed to give you only the top drawer, which probably has less than $1500. if they give you a single strap($2000) of 20's, and the rest loose bills, this is the dye pack. but you want to do it right and ask for the money in all the drawers, that way you get the 100 and 50 and 20 straps from the lower drawers.

they won't lock you in, they are scared shitless of you starting to execute people. they want you in and out as fast as possible. same as what you want :).

no experience with a gps pack, but just fan the money and bend it completely in half, make sure there are no hard pieces inside the strapped money, and you are set.

http://www.fbi.gov/hq/lab/fsc/backissu/jan2008/research/reynolds_figure1.jpg

notice how there is real money around it, there is real money on the sides too and if you fan it just a little it almost looks real.

1).Get a job at a bank under a fake identity. Change your looks and look a different gender for the job.

2). Steal the money. Will be easier being an insider.

3). Get away, and get rid of the identity you used.

4). ???

5). Profit!

Get a job at a bank

This is what a bank job really is.

GPS Jammer 33$
http://www.dealextreme.com/details.dx/sku.8758
Cell Phone Blocker 64$
http://www.dealextreme.com/details.dx/sku.11510

Find a way to hook them up in a backpack with a battery and they should help you in case someone tries to make a call or if there is a gps transmitter in the bag with the money they give you. I would also advise a good disguise.

Cell Phone Blocker 64$
http://www.dealextreme.com/details.dx/sku.11510

don't bother, there's a panic button at every desk in the bank. gps blocker would be nice though if it worked well.

well im on bail for a bank robbery as we speak:
On Wednesday July 30, 2008 at approximately 4:50pm, two
culprits entered the Scotiabank located in the Midlake Blvd
SE Shopping Centre. Once inside the bank each culprit
approached a separate teller and presented a hold-up note
indicating they were armed, it was a robbery, and demanding
cash. The culprits were given an undisclosed amount of cash
and immediately exited the bank.

The CPS Robbery Unit has completed the investigation into
this robbery with the arrest of two individuals on September
25th, 2008. Charged with one count each of robbery under
section 344(b) CC is: i took out my name cause i odnt need messeges on facebook more then i already got

but yeah i got flaged for quetioning when someone ratted on me casue me an my coaccused are idiots an told people thats key DONT TELL ANYONE!!!!!!! other then that dont use a weponed thats armed robbery an sooo much worse . now im lookin at 4 years in the pen im soo fucked but on my side im only 19 an i got a good family an lawyer so i got a 50 persent chance at 2 years house arrest an 250 hour community service which still sucks balls

it isnt worth it bud i had the money it was awesome but 3 months of freedom of work an shit sint worth 4 years in prison ... consider ur life , but also lol consider that it is quick money an i woulda got away with it if someone didnt rat me out so, lose lips sink ships!!!! keeper fresh

o ya by the way say u dont want dye packs when ur in there and they wont give them to u ... an wear sunglasses an a hat thats all u need an u dont wanna stand out when u get inthere trust me on this

well im on bail for a bank robbery as we speak:
On Wednesday July 30, 2008 at approximately 4:50pm, two
culprits entered the Scotiabank located in the Midlake Blvd
SE Shopping Centre. Once inside the bank each culprit
approached a separate teller and presented a hold-up note
indicating they were armed, it was a robbery, and demanding
cash. The culprits were given an undisclosed amount of cash
and immediately exited the bank.

The CPS Robbery Unit has completed the investigation into
this robbery with the arrest of two individuals on September
25th, 2008. Charged with one count each of robbery under
section 344(b) CC is: i took out my name cause i odnt need messeges on facebook more then i already got

but yeah i got flaged for quetioning when someone ratted on me casue me an my coaccused are idiots an told people thats key DONT TELL ANYONE!!!!!!! other then that dont use a weponed thats armed robbery an sooo much worse . now im lookin at 4 years in the pen im soo fucked but on my side im only 19 an i got a good family an lawyer so i got a 50 persent chance at 2 years house arrest an 250 hour community service which still sucks balls

it isnt worth it bud i had the money it was awesome but 3 months of freedom of work an shit sint worth 4 years in prison ... consider ur life , but also lol consider that it is quick money an i woulda got away with it if someone didnt rat me out so, lose lips sink ships!!!! keeper fresh

your stupid

your stupid

owned!

owned!

the fuck? i know your not talking.

Oakland, Califiornia, U.S.A.

The CPS Robbery Unit has completed the investigation into
this robbery with the arrest of two individuals on September
25th, 2008. Charged with one count each of robbery under
section 344(b) CC is: i took out my name cause i odnt need messeges on facebook more then i already got

Joseph is that you!?!?

the fuck? i know your not talking.

Oakland, Califiornia, U.S.A.

You don't learn.

You don't learn.

Lol. Wow, "California" has been misspelled all this time. Thanks for letting me know. It's not like I actually care about simple mistakes, just a bit of internet culture mate.

Joseph is that you!?!?

had to look me up didnt u .. but yeah thats me, me an my shity life lol its all good live an learn

your stupid

fuck off who are u to tell me that im stupid

Lol. Wow, "California" has been misspelled all this time. Thanks for letting me know. It's not like I actually care about simple mistakes, just a bit of internet culture mate.

I wasn't referring to you. I was talking about the retard that used 'your' in place of 'you're' after you had pointed out the mistake.

I wasn't referring to you. I was talking about the retard that used 'your' in place of 'you're' after you had pointed out the mistake.

I know. Darn, I should try o be clearer.

If I was to ever steal from a bank (I'm not implying that I ever will try to) this is how I would do it.

I would disguise myself in a wig, makeup, body padding to give myself a different shape, different clothes, and I would get shoes that can raise my height by a few centimeters. As I walk to the bank and into it, I would walk differently than normal. I would write on a deposit slip that I have a gun in my coat and demand the money. I would then put the cash into a briefcase or bag or something, and casually walk out. As soon as I get a few meters away or so, I would jog to the nearest public restroom or something, put the money in a seperate bag, then take off the wig, makeup, body padding etc. And change into new clothes. Then I would catch a taxi home, hide the money in my home (I mean HIDE it, like in the walls), and after a decent while start using it.

But, I live in New Zealand, and we don't have the ink packets or whatever they are. So you'd have to come up with your own way of circumventing it. Also, would someone care to explain the ink packets to me?

thats a pretty good idea