...how soon she slept with you?

For example, I met this guy in July (at a party at his house). We camped together at Burning Man, and have seen each other around a few other times since then. I was always attracted to this guy, but I had a boyfriend (we broke up on Halloween) so nothing ever happened until New Years. We were at the same party and were making out and shit but we didn't fuck (only because we didn't have a room, lol). We got together the next day though and did it.

So does that count as 1 day or 5 months?

Another example: I have a friend who I met when I was 17 (I'm 22 now). Nothing ever happened for a long time, although he did try one time when I was 18 but I turned him down because I had a boyfriend. We did hang out once in between boyfriends, but nothing happened then either. For some reason I told him a boyfriend even though I didn't (I can't remember why). Fast forward to November '08 and I called him because I was single and I figured we could have some fun finally. I managed to hold out for 2 dates, but on the third I gave in.

So is that 3 dates? Or 5 years?

I'm just curious how you guys would count it in these situations. Do you factor in whether or not she has a boyfriend?

"...how soon she slept with you?

For example, I met this guy in July (at a party at his house). We camped together at Burning Man, and have seen each other around a few other times since then. I was always attracted to this guy, but I had a boyfriend (we broke up on Halloween) so nothing ever happened until New Years. We were at the same party and were making out and shit but we didn't fuck (only because we didn't have a room, lol). We got together the next day though and did it.

So does that count as 1 day or 5 months?"

I would see it more like I just saw this girl a few times and hooked up with her. But that is not necessarily a bad thing.

"Another example: I have a friend who I met when I was 17 (I'm 22 now). Nothing ever happened for a long time, although he did try one time when I was 18 but I turned him down because I had a boyfriend. We did hang out once in between boyfriends, but nothing happened then either. For some reason I told him a boyfriend even though I didn't (I can't remember why). Fast forward to November '08 and I called him because I was single and I figured we could have some fun finally. I managed to hold out for 2 dates, but on the third I gave in.

So is that 3 dates? Or 5 years?"

This one may be more like 5 years. And you held out three dates.



"I'm just curious how you guys would count it in these situations. Do you factor in whether or not she has a boyfriend?"

Haha, you hooked up with someone while you we're with yer boyfriend.

You never actually were officially "with" them until you hooked up, so I would say that is when you would start counting.

For example would it make sense if I said that I have been with some girl my whole life just because I knew her my whole life and we just so happened to have a sweaty one night stand at some point??? NO! You would start counting from when we hooked up.

i wouldnt say when its been 5 months, but thats a tough question, but i would think that unless 5 months ago he realized he was eventually going to fuck you, and 5 months ago you thought im going to hold out for 5 months, i think for the guy he would consider it to be a day. (and it wouldnt even have been a day lol), its not like he's been counting down "in 5 months imma fuck the shit out her", but if the point of the question is too determine if you are a tramp or not, i dont think so because uv known the guy for a decently long time, same with scenario 2. (even it is has only been 1 day, 3 months, its all semantics)

i dont even know if that makes sense,

mostly i tried to come up with a decent response because i would like to know, ARE THERE REALLY NAKED MUD DANCES AT BURNING MAN??

Does it really matter? If its that grey, who cares?

i'd probably say for as long as you know the person. so the longer of the 2 in both situations. because in that time, you're still getting to know the person. if it were something like "i knew the guy when i was 8, then moved away, then saw him again when i was 26 and slept with him that night", that would be considered one night, in my book, since even though you knew the person, a lot can happen in that time. granted, in that kind of situation, you'd know more about the person than someone you may have met in a bar that night, so it wouldn't be quite the same. i can see how it isn't such a definite answer.

like when i first slept with my 1st girlfriend (also my 1st time), we had been dating for about 2 weeks, but i knew her and talked to her in class for almost 2 months before we started dating (i think). so i wouldn't consider it 2 weeks, i'd consider it more like 2/2.5 months.

I figured we could have some fun finally. I managed to hold out for 2 dates, but on the third I gave in.


Free your mind.

Why the fuck would you 'hold out' if you want sex with him, assuming you're both single and consenting?

All this nonsense about not appearing a 'slut' or 'easy'...

And who the hell gives a fuck about 'counting'???! Sounds to me like something teenage ameritards would do.

The wife and I slept together within 24 hours of meeting and she was a virgin-certainly neither a slut nor easy. When it's right it's right.

Free your mind.

Why the fuck would you 'hold out' if you want sex with him, assuming you're both single and consenting?

All this nonsense about not appearing a 'slut' or 'easy'...

And who the hell gives a fuck about 'counting'???! Sounds to me like something teenage ameritards would do.

The wife and I slept together within 24 hours of meeting and she was a virgin-certainly neither a slut nor easy. When it's right it's right.

Very much this.

Free your mind.

Why the fuck would you 'hold out' if you want sex with him, assuming you're both single and consenting?

All this nonsense about not appearing a 'slut' or 'easy'...

And who the hell gives a fuck about 'counting'???! Sounds to me like something teenage ameritards would do.

The wife and I slept together within 24 hours of meeting and she was a virgin-certainly neither a slut nor easy. When it's right it's right.

I agree here. When it's right it's right. My fiancee and I fooled around a bit the day we met and then slept together 2 days later. That is definitely not something I had ever done before, but it felt right. The amount of time doesn't matter as long as the situation feels right. It seems to me that in both of your situations you waited until it felt right to you/you "had a room," and that is what should matter.

Hey Chels... long time no see! Glad to see that you are still around and "back in the saddle" as it were. I agree with all of the "when its right its right" comments, but I think your question is more on counting chronology rather than if it is right or not.

And that IS an interesting question. From my perspective, I would only count the time where you are actively 'seeing' one another. I have a few of these which is why it piqued my interest.

My first true love and I 'dated' for about 6 months or so at the first go-around. It was a quasi-platonic relationship. Within an hour of meeting her we were playing 'pass the ice cube' at some pizza joint (both her and her friend) but she had a s/o who was serving overseas and she was committed to that relationship. Yeah, I know what you all are thinking... but this was the 60's. Actually 1971, but mindset of the 60's spilled over well into the 70's.

We got along great; hung out a lot and a wonderful meeting of the minds, but never got physical beyond much passionate kissing. I fell terribly in love with her but always respected her commitment to her 'real' boyfriend and never pushed it beyond what she was comfortable with. We drifted apart (with me extremely heartbroken) and had no contact whatsoever for almost ten years.

Not long before I relocated to Florida our paths crossed once again. She was now single and we resumed our 'courtship' but this time platonic was the farthest thing from either of our minds. On our first date we consumated the passion we (at least I) had felt for so long.

So, in this case, I would have to call it about 6 months and a day. There is no way that I could include the nearly 10 years of no contact on my stopwatch of love.

Hope that made some sense, even if it wasn't of much help.

Knowing someone doesn't usually translate into a sexual countdown. I would say three dates and one day, but that doesn't make it a bad thing and they might not even have kept track of that.

There is clearly a relationship there, the fact you guys were so close for all that time means there was sexual tension there - but its taken this long for something to happen.

Its the sort of thing, you dont need to count it.
"I knew this guy for 5 years and then we decided to hook up"

Nobodies going to question that, because clearly you know each other damn well.

It only starts counting when it becomes a relationship for me.
You can fuck all you want but that doesnt make you more than fuck buddies.