At what point should your s/o pick between you and his friends? I can't deal with the fucking idiots anymore. I don't like them, they don't like me. They're losers and alcoholics and all they do is drink, all the time. All the fucking time. I refuse to hang out with them anymore. He can hang out with them with all he wants, but... what's that saying? You can judge a person by the company they keep? Now, on top of it, I was looking forward to a lovely relaxing week in Mexico, and now THEY'RE GOING TO OUR RESORT. I'm pissed off.

I don't know what to do. I can't really say "it's me or your friends." I wouldn't say that. But... fuck. Anyone else have to deal with horrible friends?

It wouldn't really be fair to make your boyfriend choose between you and his friends. So I wouldn't do that. If I were you, I would get your chico to promise you 2 or 3 days in Mexico where it's just the two of you. Maybe you can loosen up, party and have some fun with the boys on the other days. Have you tried drinking with them before? Because it tends to be a good bonding experience, lol.

When you get back home, just do what you're doing. Don't hang out with them. As long as your boy isn't spending all his time with them and none with you, I don't see it being a huge deal. A guy's gotta have his buddies.

You can't expect your s/o to hang out with all people that you like. He should have to choose, you should respect his decisions as a person.

Anyone else have to deal with horrible friends?

Yeah. I had to deal with rich, pretentious, shallow, vapid sluts, who thought cheating was so trendy and shit, like Sex and the City. They spent thousands on clothes, plastic surgery, going out, etc. The type of people I wish would die. You know what it took me along time to figure out? She was just like them. Exactly. But around me she put on this mask. I saw her conversations with her friends, she instantly killed her spelling, gossiped and bad mouthed her friends. Around me she told me she never talked about people behind her back, got pissed at me for using MSN grammar and never gossiped.

That may have seemed like a crazy man's ramblings, but it wasn't. I was just trying to illustrate the point that your Mr is probably one of these guys the second you're not around. The very people you hate, but while around you he knows to put on the mask and get into boyfriend mode.

Is this likely or am I way off once again?

Yeah. I had to deal with rich, pretentious, shallow, vapid sluts, who thought cheating was so trendy and shit, like Sex and the City. They spent thousands on clothes, plastic surgery, going out, etc. The type of people I wish would die. You know what it took me along time to figure out? She was just like them. Exactly. But around me she put on this mask. I saw her conversations with her friends, she instantly killed her spelling, gossiped and bad mouthed her friends. Around me she told me she never talked about people behind her back, got pissed at me for using MSN grammar and never gossiped.

That may have seemed like a crazy man's ramblings, but it wasn't. I was just trying to illustrate the point that your Mr is probably one of these guys the second you're not around. The very people you hate, but while around you he knows to put on the mask and get into boyfriend mode.

Is this likely or am I way off once again?

:(

While we were broken up he went back to spending all his time with them, and while he wasn't as bad as them, I know he wasn't the same person as he is when we're together. That was while we were broken up though, so it's a bit different. I think everyone changes after a breakup.

We used to hang out with them all the time. They never used to be this bad. Then they all of a sudden turned into raging alcoholics on top of a bunch of other shit and we stopped seeing them as often. That's partially why they hate me; because in their eyes I took away their friend, and now he's no fun, and whatever. Doesn't at all cross their minds that maybe he's just grown up and they're still 16 years old, getting drunk in a garage, night after night. At least, I hope he's grown up.

He's going to the mountains with them this weekend. He says he's going for the snowboarding. They're going to drink. Change of scenery. Fucking idiots. Why spend 300+ bucks to get drunk in a different place? It's fucking retarded. I guess I'll see what happens. The Mexico trip may be our last one, depending on what happens.

If someone ruins my relaxing on the beach happy time I'm going to pay a mexican to kill them. Or I might do it myself.

Ooh, and sick boy, it's not just the boys. 2 of the girlfriends are coming, and they hate me because their friend had a thing for my boyfriend while we were broken up and when we got back together she totally flipped out. Hate by association. You know how stupid girls are. They're nice to my face too, which pisses me off more.

:(

If someone ruins my relaxing on the beach happy time I'm going to pay a mexican to kill them. Or I might do it myself.

Cheer up charlie! I think once you get there you should give them a chance. The second the cross a line or piss you off, just go off on your own adventure and meet some nice foreign boys. :)

Freaking add me!

Unless he changes occupations, he's always going to be around guys like that. They don't change, they just grow old. They're fun, entertaining, and it's easy to fall into step with them; it's entertainment without thought, fun without responsibility. It's a temptation that's not easy to avoid because there's really no good reason to avoid it.

He has to want to not spend time with them, it's not something that changes without reason. If he enjoys it, and he surely does, then there's not a whole lot to be done.

P.S. - Sorry to hear it.

Unless he changes occupations, he's always going to be around guys like that. They don't change, they just grow old. They're fun, entertaining, and it's easy to fall into step with them; it's entertainment without thought, fun without responsibility. It's a temptation that's not easy to avoid because there's really no good reason to avoid it.

He has to want to not spend time with them, it's not something that changes without reason. If he enjoys it, and he surely does, then there's not a whole lot to be done.

P.S. - Sorry to hear it.

Well hopefully he'll be a firefighter soon, so he'll grow up. Hopefully. He has said over and over again that he doesn't really like them anymore and he doesn't want to hang out with them but it never lasts. Just saying what I want to hear, maybe.

Same shit happened with his best friend. He was dating a girl for a while and at first it was fine but then she stopped getting along with all the idiots and so they stopped seeing them as often. Now they broke up and he went right back to doing exactly what he said he no longer wanted to do. That kinda gives a good perspective on it though. I know he misses her and he'd probably be happier with her, but without her his friends are all he has so he does what they do. Probably the same thing in my situation.

Boys are so stupid.

Arquin, add you to what? I don't go on msn anymore. :p And I've been giving them chances for almost 3 years. When can I stop?

There are a lot of hardcore alcoholics and party people working as firefighters right now and the number keeps growing. They're supposed to be creating 20-60 new firefighter jobs every year till 2011 and the shifts really appeal to binge drinkers. The part-time firefighters are even worse.

A lot of the people I went to high school with are in training to be firefighters right now, as is one of my cousins in Edmonton. :( Something about his fiancee thinking it'll help him mature...

The chances you're giving him are generous, but if he's enjoying his life...then there's no reason for him to change it.

There are a lot of hardcore alcoholics and party people working as firefighters right now and the number keeps growing. They're supposed to be creating 20-60 new firefighter jobs every year till 2011 and the shifts really appeal to binge drinkers. The part-time firefighters are even worse.

A lot of the people I went to high school with are in training to be firefighters right now, as is one of my cousins in Edmonton. :( Something about his fiancee thinking it'll help him mature...

The chances you're giving him are generous, but if he's enjoying his life...then there's no reason for him to change it.

Lol, thanks for completely ruining that dream.

I think maybe I make it sound worse than it is. He's not exactly like them. I think. He's trying to get a career and a house and everything. I just don't like them. I know he's different when he's around them (he's not as bad as they are), but I don't know if that's who he really is or if he pretends to be that person to still fit in with the people he grew up with. And I know he wouldn't be happy if I was spending time with all my old friends who are now all alcoholics/cokeheads/everything else you can imagine.

Ugh. Just when things start going really well again, it all goes to shit. Stupid.

And I sound like a lame, lame, lamecake.

Well hopefully he'll be a firefighter soon, so he'll grow up.

I nearly pissed myself at that. Thank you, that's the funniest shit I've read in a while.

Tell them to register here
Ask for their usernames to make them "VIP"
Ban them
????
Profit

Yeah. I had to deal with rich, pretentious, shallow, vapid sluts, who thought cheating was so trendy and shit, like Sex and the City. They spent thousands on clothes, plastic surgery, going out, etc. The type of people I wish would die. You know what it took me along time to figure out? She was just like them. Exactly. But around me she put on this mask. I saw her conversations with her friends, she instantly killed her spelling, gossiped and bad mouthed her friends. Around me she told me she never talked about people behind her back, got pissed at me for using MSN grammar and never gossiped.

That may have seemed like a crazy man's ramblings, but it wasn't. I was just trying to illustrate the point that your Mr is probably one of these guys the second you're not around. The very people you hate, but while around you he knows to put on the mask and get into boyfriend mode.

Is this likely or am I way off once again?

Y'ever think she put the mask on around her friends? Or y'ever think that there is no mask, and that different groups of people allow different aspects of her personality to shine through more than others?

Codeswitching man.

Y'ever think she put the mask on around her friends? Or y'ever think that there is no mask, and that different groups of people allow different aspects of her personality to shine through more than others?

Codeswitching man.

Nah man, I used to get little glimpses of what she was like even with me.

"You're not seriously going out in that...are you?" - when wearing thongs (flip flops). Just one example, but there are thousands.

Demoiselle chill out dude.

I just don't like them.

Do you think that's possibly the problem? The fact that you just don't like them? Earlier you said they don't like you. You seem like a nice, somewhat popular normie. Normies love being liked. If they don't like you, you put up a wall to them and hate them back.

Maybe show a grand gesture hinting at a truce. Let them know that you're around to stay, that you wont take their shit, but that you can also be fun to hang out with.

And as Euda said, there's nothing wrong with chilling and drinking in a garage. Are you able to join in and get along with them? Give it a try :)

And about not adding me...well...I didn't want to speak to you any way :mad: :mad: :)

Do you think that's possibly the problem? The fact that you just don't like them? Earlier you said they don't like you. You seem like a nice, somewhat popular normie. Normies love being liked. If they don't like you, you put up a wall to them and hate them back.

Maybe show a grand gesture hinting at a truce. Let them know that you're around to stay, that you wont take their shit, but that you can also be fun to hang out with.

And as Euda said, there's nothing wrong with chilling and drinking in a garage. Are you able to join in and get along with them? Give it a try :)

And about not adding me...well...I didn't want to speak to you any way :mad: :mad: :)

I'm a normie?! I don't think anyone has ever said I'm normal before. It's a mutual dislike. And there is something wrong with drinking in a garage when it's the only thing you ever do, except perhaps drinking somewhere else. I'm up for anything, but I got over drinking myself into oblivion all the time back in high school.

Can't I just avoid them? It's been working so far, kinda.

You can always email me, hobo. :p

Lol, thanks for completely ruining that dream.

I think maybe I make it sound worse than it is. He's not exactly like them. I think. He's trying to get a career and a house and everything. I just don't like them. I know he's different when he's around them (he's not as bad as they are), but I don't know if that's who he really is or if he pretends to be that person to still fit in with the people he grew up with. And I know he wouldn't be happy if I was spending time with all my old friends who are now all alcoholics/cokeheads/everything else you can imagine.

Ugh. Just when things start going really well again, it all goes to shit. Stupid.

And I sound like a lame, lame, lamecake.

It does sound a lot worse than how the reality of it sounds. It's really easy to slip into old habits when you're around old friends; it's a comfort zone. It's not who he is now, it's just how he feels comfortable acting around them. Some people never really move on from their old friends because of that comfort zone. It's not a question of pretending when he's around them; it's more along the lines of nostalgia.

He has to want to make the effort.

And you're an odd duck, but a delightful one. Quack. :)