So, I'll try to give a recap of my lovelife so far:

Met my first girl at the age of 20, she was 16. I liked her a lot, maybe loved her to an extent, but broke it off after 11 months. This was because things were bumpy just at the time, I was afraid to settle down already and wanted out before things got too serious.
She took a fucking year to get over me. She'd call me and message me all the time, making me feel like an asshole for what I did and I just didn't wanna come back.
When she finally does get off my back, gives me room to breathe, I start contacting her. We watch a few movies, we make out, things are nice. Then I start hearing she's been messing around with another dude. She denies it. I keep hearing new stuff, from new people, but she denies, denies, denies. Until she finally cracks, says they made out a few times.
But I've caused her so much pain for more than a year, heck I even asked her to move on, so I decide to live with this. She had every right, it was just the fact that she still kept me around and lied about it, that bothered me.

Anyways, I ask if they did anything more than making out, she says no. Stupid me, I believe her. Because she's repeadetly liede the last time, I decide to check properly. I copy her MSN logs, like the sleezebag that I am and find out, that he's had her hands in her pants. Apparently she stopped him, but only after he'd felt just how wet and horny she was. If I bothered reading more, I'd probably get some juicy cybersex, but I don't wanna see that shit.

Anyways, there's probably nothing to rebuild our relationship on, is there? If I think she's awesome, should I try to fight all I can to spend the rest of my life with her?

The thing is... I'm not sure I wanna move on to anyone else. Sure I can look at other girls and think yeah I could do her. But she's probably been with a bunch of guys and I'm just so crap at tackling that.
With my "current girl", I know what I've got, and it's good. Only problem is, I'm afraid she's opened her eyes and can see that other guys like her too.

I'm afraid to move on, but is it the right thing to do? What if I fall in love with some girl, but she has a past that hurts me? Or will I just learn to live with it, like I did with my ex's messing around?

This whole thing with my ex totally broke my heart, I've been so emo for like a month now... Will I ever be able to move on, or am I too twisted?

Sorry if I made this whole story a bit unclear, ask if there are any questions. Flame if you must.

Kind of obvious what the answer is...

Move on. She has proved that she can/will lie to you therefore it's going to be extremely hard for you to trust her in the future; without trust there is no point in a relationship.

I know it feels like you can't get through the days but I promise it will get better. Try and keep yourself busy, take some crack cocaine or something. In a few months time you'll have a new woman laying by your side (go for over 16 this time they are emotionally unstable) and you'll look back and laugh.


ps. Your faith in women will return to you in time, at the moment it seems as if they are all out to hurt you, but that's purely cause you've been shaken up a bit. Furthermore you can't change someone's past, what's done is done and you just have to accept that, it's the future that counts.

Strength.

Move on. She has proved that she can/will lie to you therefore it's going to be extremely hard for you to trust her in the future; without trust there is no point in a relationship.

I know it feels like you can't get through the days but I promise it will get better. Try and keep yourself busy, take some crack cocaine or something. In a few months time you'll have a new woman laying by yourside (go for over 16 this time they are emotionally unstable) and you'll look back and laugh.

Thanks man. Yeah the trust may be gone, but can't it be rebuilt if we actually decide to have a new relationship? I keep trying to like, understand her actions. She lied yeah, but maybe she did it because she saw that there was a chance for us, which she didn't wanna ruin and didn't wanna hurt me.

And yes you're right, the days are fucking horrible. I really had no idea people could feel this fucking bad. Which also makes me realise what pain I put her through for a long time :(

I should've stuck with her in the first place, never let her go. But done is done...

First see my edit about other parts of your post.


You and I have had very similar experiences, i too sat for days on end trying to understand WHY she did it. In the end i don't think you can ever find a satisfying reason as to why it happened, it's just one of those things, all the time you sit and wonder through all the scenarios it just cuts you up a bit more. There is nothing anyone can say to make the pain go away, there will be good days and bad days but slowly you'll get stronger.

Maybe she is gone mate, but look at it positively. You have learnt your lesson, as i did, and as a result you have grown as a person.

I really appreciate the words man, but don't you ever wish you didn't need to learn that lesson? The only way I feel changed is that I've lost all faith in life. I'm afraid I'll never really love someone and that I'll never really be happy. Just a cynical person who wanders around cos he's too weak to just commit suicide.

How long ago did your experience occur?

No i don't wish i never had to learn it, because if i hadn't have learned it, i never would; if that makes sense. It means i wont make the same mistakes again with future and current relationships, and hopefully neither will you.

Just give yourself time, you can't expect yourself to even imagine having feelings for another girl so soon after what has happened, you're raw at the moment. But time is the greatest healer and one day you'll suprise yourself when you feel that spark of affection for someone new.

It was October just gone mate, the story is nearly exactly the same except she was sleeping with another guy instead.

Fuck, that hurts man, you have my sympathy :(

Great, now she's writing to me on msn... We still hang out occasionally, though I haven't been able to get physical since I discovered how far they'd gone. Problem is, she lives so nearby... And whenever she finds someone new, or just makes out with someone or whatever, I'm so gonna hear about it. People are so fucking insensitive, telling you that kinda shit, I wish they'd keep it to themselves.

Edit: Yeah I know what you mean about learning a lesson but... In a perfect world, we'd never need to learn these louse lessons.