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View Full Version : A friend in need. (abusive relationship)


CosmicExplosionofFlavor
2009-01-15, 21:37
TLDR; at bottom


Totse , Today we will embark on a journey through the cosmic explosion of flavors life, we will stop at a certain point and discuss the matters and happenings in regards to his life (Alternatively we will flame him massively).

Seven months ago, TCE began a new job, a new job involving ice cream, ice cream and women. At first this job was not unlike any others, attending to the daily process of feeding the hungry masses their daily requirement of butter so that they may sink deeper into the couch as they waste away watching their T.VS, However: enter Angel. When TCE started his job, he was a scrawny awkward little man with an inkling of a flame building inside of him, little did he know that Angel would be the one to throw the fuel on the fire to unleash a world of confusion and wonderful memory's upon him. Angel was his manager, they worked together quite a bit, sometimes being together 3-5 days a week as a requirement of work, Angel being such a shining personality easily befriended the estranged TCE who was slowly acclimating to his new surroundings and sense of self as he was more and more exposed to the joy, sadness and ignorance of the people he encountered.


Now before we enter this realm we must first revisit the past, before meeting Angel TCE lacked self confidence and motivation. Quite the weak one he blamed himself for his shortcomings and wallowed in his own self pity and shame day by day. Shortly after meeting Angel the power of lust drove TCE to improve himself in any way possible, he began picking his life up from where he left off as a tenth grade drop out. TCE went back to school, worked many hours, started a vigorous workout routine quit smoking and started dieting, life was good and every day was an adventure with Angel as his muse.


At first their relationship was little more than a thorn on a bush in Angels eyes, TCE saw something more in her and desired and longed to be with her. One night TCE gets a phone call from Angel asking him to come over, TCE not knowing what to expect having never seen her outside of work decided to grab tenaciously at the opportunity presented in front of him in hopes of becoming closer to her. After a few strange nights, where TCE in his newly aquired "sexy body" was used to make Angels then and current lover jealous, through forcing him to see us kissing and playing spin the bottle with 4 of her female friends TCE realized that she was no good and moved onto other girls. As the time past TCE thought less and less of Angel.


Months later, TCE is extremely sexy and has many hot little mommas trying to get at his giant penis, realizing that TCE can't enjoy sex unless he loves the girl (or he gets to face fuck) he became reclusive, spending many nights alone but enjoying his time. As the time passed he would find himself being reminded of Angel constantly, through the word Angel mostly but he found that the fond memory's of the few nights they spent together made his heart throb and yearn for more.


Angel still with her abusive boyfriend begins to talk to TCE again, as time passed TCE began to realize that this girl who shines so brightly was actually extremely damaged and depressed. TCE began to call her out on it, "seeing through the facade" as she would put it later in the story.



Now, They have developed a strong connection and friendship, considering each other the "favorite" of the other sex. TCE being so in love with her refused to simply get her to cheat on her boyfriend but rather try's to overwhelm her and force her to fall madly in love with him, TCE with the realization that this is pointless and that if she truley loved him would simply dump the abusive prick lashes out and calls her a tease, a slut and a whore. Time passes and these wounds of drunken nights heal, yet Angel has not. Her boyfriend is a parasite sapping the love joy and beauty from her, she is constantly in a state of distress. Upon hearing that her two roommates moved out on her and that she can not afford to pay rent TCE who at the time was contemplating moving out of his parents house suggests that he would move in with her. Naturally Angels boyfriend was infuriated by this notion as he was living with her (Absolutely rent free. Fucker doesn't even have a job or the capability of holding one) he says that he would move out if I were to move in, even though Angel has no one else that she can trust to live with and help her with her current financial situation. After this she admits her feelings to TCE, unmoved by this he realizes that he must put his feelings for her beside and do something about her boyfriend, not because of his love for her but because he is abusive and an alcoholic.


After speaking to a friend TCE decides it would be best to approach her as a friend and attempt to give her the perspective that she would need to see that the leech on her life is her boyfriend (She constantly cry's to TCE about how she feels like she's not herself, That her entire life never makes sense, and that she feels like someone she's not). TCE comes to totse with this story because he believes that his friend is TRULY in danger by being with this man, He does not wish to sabotage their relationship in order to be with Angel but simply because he is the only one that has a chance of getting through to her, and saving her from him and her own inner Demon.


So totse. What would be the best way to go about making her realize what's going on? (It's truth that he is the parasite making her suck + all of her friends and family including his own sister despise him) How can I help her before its too late? Before her boyfriend REALLY hurts her. Before she hurts herself?

TLDR: Girl OP loves is in abusive relationship, he needs to help but doesn't know the best way to approach the sensitive situation since she knows that he has feelings for her.

Chichi
2009-01-15, 21:59
Paragraph, dickhead.

CosmicExplosionofFlavor
2009-01-15, 22:15
Paragraph, dickhead.

GOOD CATCH, mate.

Malkog
2009-01-16, 00:34
Why do you want a girl who puts herself in such a bad situation and keeps herself there, regardless of the fact that she could break up with the boyfriend at any time? Don't you question that? Don't you wonder why she didn't leave at the first sign of him being a retard? Doesn't that make you wonder about the kind of person she really is?

I think the only way to get her away from her boyfriend is for you to be more of a fuckup than him. Be more of an alcoholic, be more violent and you might just win her over. That's obviously the sort of thing she likes. I reckon you should stay out of it man. If she hasn't left by now, she probably won't.

Fuck
2009-01-16, 02:06
Why do you want a girl who puts herself in such a bad situation and keeps herself there, regardless of the fact that she could break up with the boyfriend at any time? Don't you question that? Don't you wonder why she didn't leave at the first sign of him being a retard? Doesn't that make you wonder about the kind of person she really is?

This, and probably because OP can't be manly enough to seek other non-abusive-relationship-loving women.

I can never have women friends. Not with my schedule. With the little time I do have, with girls it's a fuck and with friends it's a beer, a smoke, and a deep conversation. I remember I used to babble on and talk to girls I liked, too. Man did I used to waste a lot of time.

CosmicExplosionofFlavor
2009-01-16, 02:39
I won't bother directly responding to either of you as it does no good in furthering what I'm aiming for. How about some decent responses?


EDIT: Well I suppose Malkgos post is decent, of course there are other women, however. I wouldn't be posting about this on a forum if she wasn't important to me. That's another thread though.

And also, I would love to get with her. That is not my goal or the reason I'm posting. She is NOT into being abused it just seems natural to her (from what I can see and have been told) people are not always strong.


And I see, you two are just so big macho inhumane badass mother fuckers posting in totse's sex and affection section.

Yeah real bad-ass.

Malkog
2009-01-16, 02:55
And I see, you two are just so big macho inhumane badass mother fuckers posting in totse's sex and affection section.

Yeah real bad-ass.

No. I'm not trying to be badass I'm giving you my opinion. Let's look at the situation.

Girl is in abusive relationship.
Girl has ability to end the relationship.

If we accept these premises as true, then you can only come to the conclusion that she doesn't want to end the relationship. Why? Don't ask me man I don't understand that mentality. My point is that nothing you say or do will really fix the situation or her. You could get rid of the guy but she'll just find another one. She obviously likes the relationship on some level or she wouldn't be there.

I'm not trying be hardcore or inhumane or macho, but I can lie to you if you'd prefer it.

TEMPIST
2009-01-16, 03:02
I liked the story, somehow it spoke to me.

It seems to me, that she helped you out a long time ago, help you change into a better man, and its only right that you return the favor.

I dont really agree with what you said about cheating, i think in this case it could play as the straw that will break it all, unfortunatly for you it might backfire in the end, she feeling bad and all afterwards, but i really believe it will do the job.

I am sorry to say this, but i agree with Malkog, she is fucked up and thats the kind of people that she wants around her, but good thing you are not purfect, right;). I guess what i am trying to say is, after "saving" her you might see that this is not what you wanted.

So what happened to talking to her straight up, do you not want her anymore, or you just want to handle it as friend and then make a move?

CosmicExplosionofFlavor
2009-01-16, 03:02
No. I'm not trying to be badass I'm giving you my opinion. Let's look at the situation.

Girl is in abusive relationship.
Girl has ability to end the relationship.

If we accept these premises as true, then you can only come to the conclusion that she doesn't want to end the relationship. Why? Don't ask me man I don't understand that mentality. My point is that nothing you say or do will really fix the situation or her. You could get rid of the guy but she'll just find another one. She obviously likes the relationship on some level or she wouldn't be there.

I'm not trying be hardcore or inhumane or macho, but I can lie to you if you'd prefer it.
That was more directed at fuckwhateverhisnameis also.


No that was a good perspective, Like I said. That's not the issue If it was this wouldn't be the thread I was making, I'm worried about the guy really fucking her up one day. This girl has always been good to me, her boyfriend is a junkie/alcohalic and saps all of her money and time away. YES I understand she's with him for a reason...that I fail to see, mayhaps If I can't get through to her at least I can understand why.

And no she doesn't like the abuse she's just a stupid weak woman.

or a terrible liar -__-

CosmicExplosionofFlavor
2009-01-16, 03:07
I liked the story, somehow it spoke to me.

It seems to me, that she helped you out a long time ago, help you change into a better man, and its only right that you return the favor.

I dont really agree with what you said about cheating, i think in this case it could play as the straw that will break it all, unfortunatly for you it might backfire in the end, she feeling bad and all afterwards, but i really believe it will do the job.

I am sorry to say this, but i agree with Malkog, she is fucked up and thats the kind of people that she wants around her, but good thing you are not purfect, right;). I guess what i am trying to say is, after "saving" her you might see that this is not what you wanted.

So what happened to talking to her straight up, do you not want her anymore, or you just want to handle it as friend and then make a move?

Eh, She is "strongly against cheating" (And doesn't...except with me) but she hasn't in months so it's irrelevant.

Yes, she is fucked up it's one of the reasons I adore her. I accept, hell even embrace it it's my life. I'm aware of the situation and what may/may not happen but that's not what matters to me.
I suppose I'm trying to "save" her, but not from her boyfriend from herself maybe.
Talking to her straight up is my plan, I'm not afforded many oppurtunitys to do this lately (60+ hour workweek) This isn't about me wanting her or not is my point, I couldn't have cared less about her being with her abusive boyfriend until she started asking me why she feels like she's not herself anymore.


EDIT: I also greatly appreciate that you understand my story, this is really the entirety of the situation.

EDIT2 I edit a lot: What I'm asking is...Is it my place to tell her what she does not WANT to hear, but so desperatly needs to?

TEMPIST
2009-01-16, 03:28
Eh, She is "strongly against cheating" (And doesn't...except with me) but she hasn't in months so it's irrelevant.

Yes, she is fucked up it's one of the reasons I adore her. I accept, hell even embrace it it's my life. I'm aware of the situation and what may/may not happen but that's not what matters to me.
I suppose I'm trying to "save" her, but not from her boyfriend from herself maybe.
Talking to her straight up is my plan, I'm not afforded many oppurtunitys to do this lately (60+ hour workweek) This isn't about me wanting her or not is my point, I couldn't have cared less about her being with her abusive boyfriend until she started asking me why she feels like she's not herself anymore.


EDIT: I also greatly appreciate that you understand my story, this is really the entirety of the situation.

EDIT2 I edit a lot: What I'm asking is...Is it my place to tell her what she does not WANT to hear, but so desperatly needs to?

Is it your place? Yes! I mean come on, from what i see you are in love with her, if its not for you to say, than who? And chances are, you might be the only person that she will hear out.

This might be the Alfa Male in me speaking, but i dont see why you dont talk to the guy first. You said abusive, and by that, you ofcourse mean psychologiclly(right? any other way you take the bastard out). Why dont you call him out on how he treats her, that will start a fight between him and you and eventually between him and her, there she will have to choose a side, and i really hope it would be yours.

CosmicExplosionofFlavor
2009-01-16, 03:40
Is it your place? Yes! I mean come on, from what i see you are in love with her, if its not for you to say, than who? And chances are, you might be the only person that she will hear out.

This might be the Alfa Male in me speaking, but i dont see why you dont talk to the guy first. You said abusive, and by that, you ofcourse mean psychologiclly(right? any other way you take the bastard out). Why dont you call him out on how he treats her, that will start a fight between him and you and eventually between him and her, there she will have to choose a side, and i really hope it would be yours.

THIS, you are the man. However I only know what Angel tells me, he seems to psychologicly destroy her I don't SEE]that except for within her. (Yes any other way he gets a mouth full of blood and i go to jail) but this does seem like the way to do it...If all three of us are involved that shows no fear from my behalf, pretty sure the guy will swing at me, but I don't see him as a threat.

If I did this and it turned into a giant 3 way argument would it then be my place to instigate him into revealing his true failures?

Also, how the fuck do I do this?

Hey angel, wanna chill with me AND YOUR BOYFRIEND???

TEMPIST
2009-01-16, 05:23
THIS, you are the man. However I only know what Angel tells me, he seems to psychologicly destroy her I don't SEE]that except for within her. (Yes any other way he gets a mouth full of blood and i go to jail) but this does seem like the way to do it...If all three of us are involved that shows no fear from my behalf, pretty sure the guy will swing at me, but I don't see him as a threat.

If I did this and it turned into a giant 3 way argument would it then be my place to instigate him into revealing his true failures?

Also, how the fuck do I do this?

Hey angel, wanna chill with me AND YOUR BOYFRIEND???

You dont have get her involved, he will. What you should do is talk to him one on one, tell him what you think about him (make sure you are calm and straight to the point), make it clear that you worry about her, and that he is a bad idea. Then watch the domino effect, he will most likely start a fight with the girl, telling her all about you and what you said. And that is a good thing, that will show her that you care and that you are able to stand up for her later in life.

You mentioned that you guys had sex, or was it a misunderstanding, if you did, i think you won half the battle there.