Hey totse. My girlfriend, 17, recently revealed to me that she has been molested and raped by her father. This has been going on since she was 3. She has not told anybody else about this, and has sworn me to secrecy. I am morally torn, I want to go to her father's house and cut off his balls, yet understand that this is unreasonable. All the sexual abuse websites say to let the victim report it and not report it for them but.... God I can't stand for her to suffer.

I bet your girlfriend is a fucking nut job no pun intended

Often the twisted kind of love and bondage the victim experiences towards the perpetrator is greater then how he/she experiences the abuse. Knowing that reporting the abuse could end this relationship the victim seeks to keep it secret and do nothing. It also not uncommon that victims blame themselves for the abuse. This leads to feeling ashamed that the abuse happens in the first place. The victim feels he/she would not be able to handle the shame should other people find out.

All you can do it try to convince her that she should report it. Convince her that a father who really cares for her would not abuse her in any way. That the bond she feels now with her father is merely a superficial, fake bond. The abuse is wholy her father' fault, not anyone else's. Tell her that teenagers as old as 15 have no defence at all against abusive parents, not even mentioning three year olds. Tell her that she should end this cycle of dispair and suffering and that you will be there to help her when she falls.

Oh and, if you want to do this, prepare good. You really need to be there WHEN she falls, and fall she shall. Really up to the task?

Yeah I've been trying to get her to talk to her sister or mother but so far she's refused... She claims she doesn't want to make things more complicated. But I've been through too much with her to abandon her, and want the best for her, so I suppose I can only continue to support her. It bothers me that the abuse continues and I'm apparently powerless to stop it....

Yeah I've been trying to get her to talk to her sister or mother but so far she's refused... She claims she doesn't want to make things more complicated. But I've been through too much with her to abandon her, and want the best for her, so I suppose I can only continue to support her. It bothers me that the abuse continues and I'm apparently powerless to stop it....

Fuck the vow of secrecy. She does not want to "complicate" things because she is too afraid. You should tell her mom if you think the mom is able to handle the situation. You can also ask a local woman's shelter for suggestions or help on what to do.

She needs help and if you don't help her after she reached out to you, then...