Just thought I'd share with you some things about me before totse disappears.

I identify as Christian.

I do not see Jesus as God.

Jesus was the son of MAN according to him, and identified as God, therefore perhaps he was saying God is a human construct, who knows? Perhaps true considering we cannot completely understand God in our limited capabilities. We don't know.

He also asked the heavenly father to forgive those who crucified him, implying a higher power than himself.

I believe there is hidden knowledge in the Bible in the form of allegories which require esoteric thought to decipher.

I try and approach the New Testament from a gnostic perspective.

I would consider myself to have achieved henosis, based on an experience I had during prayer.

I consider reflection and transcendental meditation important, as well as astral projection.

I believe turning the other cheek is paramount in many situations, but not all.

I think you have to reject superstition in all forms.

The controlling force of this planet is evil, satan, from a Christian perspective, and it has to be fought against. Too many people sell their souls for material gain and power, not caring about others, thus satanic.

The Bible I use is 'The New Jerusalem Bible', which is a Catholic bible, and I was raised Catholic, but I would not call myself Catholic, nor would I call myself fundamentalist.

TNJB is closer to what the original Christians used to study. There are books in Catholic Bibles which are not in the KJV of the Bible, as the KJV old testament is supposed to be identical in order and content to the Talmud, whereas the Catholic Bible has more books and a different order to this, a more original Christian approach. The Orthodox Bible's are closer again, containing Psalm 151 which isn't found in other versions of the Bible. The New Testaments, which I believe are the important texts, are supposed to be the same in all versions, but the Dead Sea Scrolls comes in to it again.

The thing about TNJB is that it contains extra chapters, eg Daniel has ch 13 and 14, not found in many other Bibles, added to the Bible after the discovery of the Dead Sea Scrolls.

I also have a copy of The Gnostic Gospels which contains things such as The Gospel of Thomas and The Gospel of Mary Magdalene.

Some things about me:

I have been accused of being Jesus by more than one person. I have been accused of being an Angel by more than one person. I have been observed to have a strong aura in the colours of gold around the head and green around the body, this is after I had this username on this website. I have dismissed this on occasion as a mind/eye trick, due to my eyes, gold/brown around the pupil and green around that, and even told people no the colours are brown and green, yet I have been told the colours were gold and green. I chose the colours because they are the colours of my eyes and also Australian colours. In new age thought or what have you, these colours imply divine guidance (gold) and healing ability (green). It may even be considered Christ consciousness in new age thought.

I have observed such things as remote viewing and other acts of ESP.

I have in the past allowed people to do horrible things to me with no resistance apart from saying no, due to my belief that we all get what is coming our way when we die, and just to put up with the bad whilst we are here.

I have also noticed if you do nothing to people, apart from informing them you don't like the way they behave, you do not wish their behaviour towards you to continue, no resistance, and they carry on with what they are doing, they will get what is coming their way within a few years, or months, or even days. If someone knows they are doing the wrong thing, you don't have to inform them, ie stealing your wallet, torturing puppies. Bad stuff will come their way. However a lot of people are unaware of their perception by others, and I think you have to tell them how you feel as they may not consciously be doing the wrong thing.

I have had a lot of meaningful coincidences and what I consider signs from a higher power.

That's where I am.

I do not consider myself Jesus or God.

Good luck!

These posts are always amazing.

Interesting view on life, I can't post much now since I'm busy and TOTSE is slow as shit-- but light to you IRL.

I came on this site from a suggestion by a friend who knew of SWIM's little copy machine counterfeit money operations back in high school. This was probably a good 7-8 years ago.

I learned of lucid dreaming on this site. My first read was an article about visualizing colored objects before bed. It was so short and simple, and stupid, unlike the plethora of information on the subject. It's when things are simple you can truly know them, when you're a virgin. From my persistence I had what most would call an OBE, which changed my life forever, because now I had broken out of the normal perception. Now I could not go back, now part of me was changed forever.

My next experience was after getting out of the hospital, trying a 6-8 hour controlled breathing experiment. The only words I could find for the effects were psychic consciousness/higher self/feeling one with all and complete, perfect awareness and attention/no mind. Totse didn't teach me this, but if it weren't for this site, I know for sure I would have never found my way to this.

I truly feel in touch with the buddhist idea that what governs habit and what shapes the body is the mind, and that to go behind and beyond it, to see you are awareness beyond body and mind, during the point of death, is to go beyond life and death itself, and that to be beyond a dream is to be beyond visions, which apparently they say creates another reincarnation. I don't think I'm a master, simply a halfassed monk at best, wanting to live a great life on earth yet see the deeper part of reality as well... to find that balance has become my whole desire and purpose in life....

I don't think it's easy to grasp such a concept, but I feel that is truly the taste of what I have tasted, that I cannot explain. Understand I have died in a way to most people, because I can never be the same. It has been a blessing and a curse, but this site, played such a major role that I am truly saddened by this news...because I love to come and share what I've learned with others who would benefit.


I can understand how Jeff Hunter feels. It's an overburdening world and sometimes it's so hard to keep up and do what you need to do for yourself, too. Sometimes you have to let others down to keep yourself going, but if you can't keep yourself going, who can you be for others? I think we all should try to understand that.

I will truly miss all of you, so deeply, this forum is probably the one I posted the most on. It really feels like with this site going a part of me is dying, as well. I met a girl I like on this site. An interesting one, who I still talk to.... I found it on the web... countless nights of entertainment were found in there. The disclosure project, all the government/alien information, I didnt know a goddamn thing about until this site. Thank god for the internet, and thank god for totse.

I hope Jeff Hunter changes his mind. Jeff, please change your mind. At least think of another way. There are so many people here, this is something great, So many great minds are attracted here. People have GROWN from this.

If not, You have all been amazing, my brothers and friends, this has been my home away from home and I will never forget this place... goodbye.