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stripped
2008-12-04, 23:12
An outlet, an escape if you will
This drag, please free my troubling mind
Lift their convictions and take me out from under
This infinite judgment

How many times, I ask myself
Must I reapply this mask in order to please you,
if only for the shortest second.
A reminder that to try is to fail

How many times will I write
And erase, and again rewrite what is almost fact
To please you is to get shot down
Once again for significance,
To try is to fail.

Rewind, I've told myself that
IT WILL NOT BE WORTH IT.
But still, I give it a go and yet prove my theory again
I fail and I will fail until I remember that trying
Only leads to hurt.

I ask questions
Reflections of my self doubt
You are not blind and therefore it remains obvious,
But I am not ashamed to not have myself figured out yet.

I have time, something you took for granted
And are trying to give back to me
But I don't want your wasted time
There is nothing to be learned from you
That I am not willing to learn from myself. :(

Moonius
2008-12-05, 03:01
The answer is clear. You must try to fail. Will you fail at failing? Will you fail at trying to fail? What does this mean? Will you be punished? Are the police involved?

All this and more, next time on Stripped.

stripped
2008-12-05, 22:11
nah it has a lot to do with my family and the way people treat/perceive others.

Moonius
2008-12-06, 00:07
nah it has a lot to do with my family and the way people treat/perceive others.

I know

I used to do it too

Christ-massing-the-pressure

Anarchist88
2008-12-06, 23:56
i likeded it :)
( c wat ai did thair)

stripped
2008-12-07, 11:20
The answer is clear. You must try to fail. Will you fail at failing? Will you fail at trying to fail? What does this mean? Will you be punished? Are the police involved?

All this and more, next time on Stripped.

Basically, I keep fucking up in the eyes of my family. My mistakes are based on their egotistical beliefs and I can't bring myself to give in (quitting an entire lifestyle) just because someone else believes it's wrong. But the more I look into the issue, the less I see the point of fighting. I've used every method but the method of giving in and I guess I'm gonna have to give that one a go. Fuck.

Moonius
2008-12-07, 19:20
Well... if you can't keep it a secret.. it may be better to stop. I suppose in a few years time you will be out of their house, and can do whatever and however...

Don't knao.

stripped
2008-12-07, 23:00
Yup, that's the ultimatum right now... I either pass a drug test every 2 weeks and would be able to see my boyfriend or fail and don't see him/possibly have my ma send me away with the crazies. Or I could just get a job and keep myself stocked with detox. In due time I'll be out but until then I guess I have to surrender.

Moonius
2008-12-08, 03:56
Yup, that's the ultimatum right now... I either pass a drug test every 2 weeks and would be able to see my boyfriend or fail and don't see him/possibly have my ma send me away with the crazies. Or I could just get a job and keep myself stocked with detox. In due time I'll be out but until then I guess I have to surrender.

Dude if that is the deal, don't do the drugs. Seriously. It's just fucking drugs. It's not worth ruining your relationship with your parents over some dude. Fuck that shit.

Unless your parents aren't cool.

In any case there is some kind of attachment, rite? Might as well try to educate them and yourself in the process?

I don't know. I say this again.

Valushka
2008-12-08, 21:03
It's good, a thinker, more along the lines of a dark thinker.

stripped
2008-12-08, 22:09
Dude if that is the deal, don't do the drugs. Seriously. It's just fucking drugs. It's not worth ruining your relationship with your parents over some dude. Fuck that shit.

Unless your parents aren't cool.

In any case there is some kind of attachment, rite? Might as well try to educate them and yourself in the process?

I don't know. I say this again.

Honestly, the relationship between me and my parents is so fucked beyond belief that not even a negative drug test could repair it. The relationship with my boyfriend, however, is one of the only things I can say is stable in my life and yes there is dependency. It is a hell of a lot more than that though, I feel like him and I are one and without him I'd be incomplete. I love him to death and for the past 8 months, my parents have not let me out of the house to see anyone except for my man and to not have anyone to see and hold would hurt a lot.

stripped
2008-12-08, 22:14
It's good, a thinker, more along the lines of a dark thinker.

Thank you, I guess it's not good that it's dark but good that I can convey how I;m a feelin.