so what exactly is vogon poetry?

WTF? You again?

These acolytes just won't die!

So, he's kidding? :confused:

Vogon Poetry is by far the worst in the universe. :rolleyes:.

Can someone lock this?

Vogon Poetry is by far the worst in the universe. :rolleyes:.

Can someone lock this?

third worst

With a name that smells as good as yours I don't doubt that what you said is true. My cat farts sometimes, you know. Rarely though. I love my cat. My cat is awesome.

As such as the truth that is in your words, I do guarantee that Vogonistry is surely real, and in the most aesthetic sense displeasing and uncomfortable. You will feel as if chained, and forced to read through dull replies where you must cover up your true feelings on the subject of poetry. What is important is that you take the principles to heart, and not the altered process of an already flawed free-associating hypno-sadistic stream depicting mundanity in the most poetic way possible. Mainly, that way is mundane.

Now as you come here, questionable and seeking answers, I see that you are attempting to hitch a ride to knowledge and hike yourself through this big wonderful world of disinformation and illusionism. You must remember in this adventure to always have your "Solipsistic Vibrator" inserted in your ear and ready for use. This is not a hard process, and is quite painless if done correctly. Lube is generally not required for any but the most edgy and straight headed denizens of the various locations providing a base for emotional grounding.

As you are probably pondering the meaning of this whole statement, I again remind you to turn on your babbling pseudo-schizal semi-telepathic clusterfuck of a Solipsistic Vibrator on to maximum and get ready to respond in the most human way possible. Generally through anger, confusion and denial.

To help you understand, I will cite an example of the most commonplaced man possible. Imagine, for a second, that his name is Doug. Doug is normal in every sense of the word. Doug is a fairly average name, his IQ level is average, he has average flaws and average strengths, average problems and average solutions. You won't learn particularly much from Doug, and he won't be able to learn too much from you. Doug's only problem is that he has a rather large and oddly shaped head.

Imagine for a second that this badly animated archetype is a depiction of Doug, paralleling most of the generic traits he and all men share.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5145Ia7cOdA

As you have probably noticed by now, the most interesting thing about Doug is his ability to speed through blank frames of time and reference the emotional constructs he seeks both consciously and unconsciously.

Now, and I know this may be hard for an average Earth man like you to understand, we are going to combine the archetype of Doug with the archetype of Adam. God's finely crafted supraman of famed bliss. Adam has been made by God, and is pretty much perfect. He lives in a playful Wonderland and paradise, known as the Garden of Eden, where he and other genetic structures enjoy interacting with each other, finding seemingly no need or ability to communicate how discontent they are. As the story goes, Adam had a very fleshy companion named Eve. Eve was pretty cool too, but she is only important in reference to Adam, as all women are to all men.

Continuing on with the story of Genetesis, we find a scaled coiling monkey who often finds fit to shed his imagery. You know, the one that introduced the concepts of Chutes and Ladders to Adam and Eve. That's where all the problems arise. Mainly, not being able to tell which way what ladder is going and why that Chute can let you land on the opposite end of the map.

Now, you have to think to somewhere around 1952, after civilization has started and before LSD was criminalized. It seems that 2 very long and very lost descendants of Adam and Eve had found fit to help God create a life giving value-absolving mime named Douglas Adams. As you should be able to clearly see if your Solipsistic Vibrator is set to 'overload', Douglas Adams is the combination of the 2 aforementioned archetypes of Doug and Adam. If you have learned to read verbnouns correctly, you'll find the name Douglas Adams to be the 'Call to Arms' of God's slithering voice.

Now, mind you, this voice doesn't really start talking until many years later, when God begins to explain the origins of life, love, lust and meaning to us through the boundary disconcerting title 'Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'. At least the house you built out of all those years of brick laying will stand in the odd inskirts of nowhere in particular.

There you have it Earth man, and you'd better read up quick, because your planet is about to be destroyed. Had you been paying a little more attention to all the hypergalactic messages floating about, you would clearly have seen that your planet is marked for destruction in four years.

Not to worry though (you definitely DON'T want to PANIC), because as long as you remain calm and orderly everything will seemingly fall into place for you.

You should note with a degree of clouded judgment the scripture of Genesis which clearly states:

Genesis 42-12: And he said unto them, Nay, but to see the nakedness of the land ye are come.

Genesis 42-20: But bring your youngest brother unto me; so shall your words be verified, and ye shall not die. And they did so.