and her thin gold heartbeat
and her wind full of promises and dessert
and the glitter of her wild and tender mind
and her broken watch
and her window full of exotic curses
and her ineffable drugs
and her poisoned wisdom
and her busted serenade
and the shrug of her silence
and the watchfulness of her smile
and the edge of her stillness
and the chill of her turning away
and the rustle of her winter
and the black silk stockings of her disbelief
and the charred elegance of her sandbox
and the savage innocence of her thinking
and the brutal sadness of her sleep
and the cold charm of her obsessions
and the brilliance of her longing

I don't get it

i like the emotion, i really do, but i kind of think you might have used metaphors a bit too much. just my two cents.

I thought this was going to be stevensesque... Zenlike and all that.
Still like it though, definitely some gem one liners in there